Monday, May 31, 2010


After hitting the tables and dropping $150 at the $22's on Thursday night I headed over to the s-mans on Friday for a fine night of Call of Duty ps3 action.I dropped the dog off at Step A's for the weekend on the way over and managed ( after a lot of "whatevers" and "don't cares" ) to persuade the wee one to let me take her to one of the local hairdressers tomorrow to enquire about their apprenticeship scheme.She's left school now ( at 15) and is talking about college, but with an apprenticeship she'll get on the job training as well as being supported through college work part-time.

I was out for lunch with my folks on Sat afternoon before settling down to take a shot at the Party $55 sngs.After my recent good run I was hoping the poker gods would be on my side, but instead I ran horribly,losing almost every key flip and being scudded by 2-3 outers etc.Even when I wasn't involved in the pot,shortstacks would come back from the dead on the bubble,usually just in time for me to shove into Aces yet again.In short it was poker hell, although strangely I was still enjoying the buzz of playing at stakes which really meant something to me.

I did cash in a few and the only consolation is that I wagered aprox $2200 over 40 games and only lost $600.( pretty standard 12 buy-in downswing) There were a few solid regs in each game, but in some respects it was even more frustrating to lose when the majority of the competition were weekend spew monkeys.

After under-estimating my car insurance renewal total ( there's a shock eh! ),only getting half-pay this month and with the bill for my car parking space due again soon I'd been thinking about cashing out again and I took the plunge yesterday,withdrawing $1k and leaving myself with the smallest online bankroll I've had for a few years.

The current favourable exchange rate and my reduced desire to play much poker recently were also factors and I'm hoping that some of my hunger to play may return now that I no longer have much of a cushion to fall back on.( left with aprox $750 on Stars + Party)

I don't believe in bankroll challenges as it's always my goal to make as much profit as possible regardless of the size of my roll, but I suppose it will be a "run good" challenge to try and rebuild from here without dropping down in stakes.My Stars roll was as low as 58 cents at one point,although I did have four $16's running and managed to cash in a couple of them to avert busting.I was also aware that I still had a healthy roll on other sites to fall back on and I won't have that safety net this time.

Back soon...

Thursday, May 27, 2010

The Theory of...

Two Pies and I hit The Alea casino around 20:15 and picked up the buffet vouchers my sister had left at reception, before registering for the £22 turbo tourney at 20:30.

There were 69 runners this week and with the guy on my immediate right not appearing until the end of the first level,I was sandwiched between two good looking girls, which under other circumstances would probably be quite a bargain for £22! The Fallen Madonna ( 'Allo 'Allo reference for my older UK readers!) on my left was wearing a very low cut top and although I'm usually an absolute gentleman, it was obviously my poker duty to regularly check for those "jiggle tells" Sklansky mentions in his seminal poker book,"The Theory of Boobies".( or something like that...)

As for other tells and reads,I tried to pay attention and look for the basic stuff like someone looking strong when they're actually weak and vice versa.Watching one young guy bet quickly and stare intently at the other guy he was in a hand with convinced me he had just bluffed the Ace that fell on the turn...until he showed a full house to take the pot.

Another guy seemed to be staring at me really intensely ,even when I folded.As I'm such a sharp observant player,I noticed this and after several such looks I asked if he thought he knew me from somewhere.He was quick to tell me he was trying to see the electronic board ( with blind levels,players left,average stack sizes etc) behind me and didn't have his glasses with him.At least after all those jiggle tell checks,I finally got the chance to feel a right tit!

The game is a £22 turbo with 15 minute blinds which means we were barely managing one table orbit before the blinds went up.I won a small pot with K7 from the big blind on a King high flop in an unaroused * pot and folded all the junk hands I was being dealt.Of course at the end of level 1 the late guy finally showed up to take the seat on my right and on his very first hand he doubled up with KK v AK on a King high board.That's poker and I wasn't at all bitter about the fact that if just one more set of traffic lights had been at red on his way in,those Kings would have been mine! Yes mine,all mine.My KK,my double up! ( not at all bitter!)

I made the break at the end of level 6 with just over 7k left and the blinds resumed at 600/1200.On the second hand after play restarted another young guy raised from UTG,the cut-off called and I looked down to see KK.Easy all in and Mr Intense Stare from earlier didn't look too happy before shoving for 12k to try and get heads up with me in the pot.His ploy worked,he showed AK and after four sweet blank cards, the bastarding *Ace fell on the river to knock me out.Winning that pot would have taken me to around 20k in chips and blah blah blah,you know the rest..

Two Pies knew I wasn't going to hang about for ages if I did get knocked out before him and after grabbing a smoke and watching him play a few hands,I headed home.Maybe next time...

* I did originally write "unraised" of course, but I preferred the spellcheck suggestion.Never go broke in an unaroused pot!

* Bastarding is defintely a word.The guy behind me at Ibrox is always shouting that our top scorer,Boyd,is "too bastarding slow".

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

There's Only One..

There's only one Nacho Novo,
He said no to the provo's
He said no thanks,you bunch of wanks
Walking in a Novo wonderland...

Ahhh,I get halfway through Nacho's book ( "I said No Thanks")and then find out on Sunday night that the wee man has left Rangers for a Spanish club.He may not have been my teams greatest ever striker, but he gave 100% in every game,scored a ton of vital goals and of course famously turned down our bitter rivals before signing for the Champions.Adios Amigo! You'll always be welcome back at Ibrox!

I've not posted this week as I've only played a handful of sng's and none of them were very interesting.Away from the felt my return to work was on Monday and I spent my 10-2 shift deleting some of the 960 emails that have built up over the last six months.I'm working alternate half days this week and although my back has been a bit sore and uncomfortable,it's been good catching up with my colleagues ( the ones who aren't off with stress that is ) and getting back into some kind of a normal routine.

I'm also quite pleased that I've stuck to the no weed before a work day promise I made myself.That will become more of a challenge when I start being allocated five humdinger complaints every day and come home feeling like crap, but I'm determined to stick to the cigs when I've got work the next day.

Tonight Two Pies and I are heading to The Alea to play in the £22 turbo tourney.I was annoyed at myself for a few of my plays last week and hopefully I'll leave my donkey ears at home this time.

Thanks for reading.Back soon...


Thursday, May 20, 2010

Donkey Calls...

I did see a man about a particularly aromatic dog earlier in the week so the cutting down on the weed plan will be resumed this Sunday!

On Wednesday I spent the afternoon playing Modern Warfare 2 with lads from the 2+2 forum and it was a good laugh as usual.After dinner I decided I fancied some live poker and headed to The Alea in Glasgow for the £22 turbo ( 15 min blinds) game.It's the same game they run on a Sat afternoon and I reckon I'll be back to play a lot more often as the turbo format means it's not going to finish at some ridiculous hour.

It's 10000 chips to start with and apart from one raise ( uncontested) with AK,I folded my way through most of the first few levels before being moved to another table.

I then managed to donk off most of my stack when someone min-raised and I called from the big blind with Q3s.The flop came Queen high and although I couldn't think of hand I actually beat,I still managed to call off most of my stack.The min-raiser had Aces obviously.

I was all in for my last few chips with 62 and won a multi-way pot with two pair before being moved again and being on the right side of an AA v KK cooler.In the big blind with about 7k ( blinds 1k-2k) I shoved over the button and small blind when they limped.I held 910 and hoped I had at least some fold equity or two live cards if one of them called.The button called with KQ ,I didn't improve and that was that.Perhaps I could have waited and hoped to pick up hand in the blinds.Hmmmm.

I didn't hit the tables until late last night and had a decent night,winning $70 on Party and cashing in my first ever shot at a Rush tourney on Full Tilt.I came 4th for $152 ( $11 entry) but was annoyed at myself for my donkish exit.The four remaining stacks were about even and the guy acting before me had shoved ( as he should) a decent number of times on my big blind.I felt he was shoving a very wide range of hands and called one of his pushes with Q8s.He had A4 and made quads fours by the river.I would only have been a 56/44 fav against a totally random hand and although the blinds were huge,it was a pretty awful call.

Ok,thanks for reading.Back soon...

Wednesday, May 19, 2010


My Party roll now stands at $1932 after another couple of decent sessions at the felt.That's nearly $800 up from the $1165 low my roll hit last week so I'm obviously pleased to get things back on track.The only things keeping me going over the last few months have been knowing that a) 40-50 buy-in downswings happen to all ( or most) winning sng players b)I didn't feel I was suddenly being outplayed on every hand and had major leaks in my game c)I've played enough sng's to be able to recognise a seemingly surreal run of continued beats/lost flips as being just that.

Reading a top pro sng grinders blog like The Rant by Acbarone68 has also helped a ton, as he's one of the worlds best sng players,plays over 100 sngs per day and doesn't get too down over a few losing sessions.

I can't deny that 6 months of low volume running like crap did leave me feeling sick of poker.If I'm only playing 16-20 games per day and a standard bad run can easily be 250 games from hell then as a hobby player it's hard to want to sit down and grind when it feels like I'm just never going to win another game.Of course if I was a true grinder,6 months worth of self-pitying "nobody runs as badly as me" posts would probably just be condensed into a bad few days or week.

Not a very interesting post today but if I'm going to whinge and whine about losing 40 buy-ins I reckoned it was only fair to post when I'm actually winning again!

Loved this youtube clip from footballer Joseb Etxeberria's ( Athletico Bilbao ) farewell match.

His testimonial match was Athletic Bilbao vs 200 kids.100 in the first half, another 100 in the second half. His 11 man team still won 5-3

Monday, May 17, 2010


As a daily weed smoker for nearly 20 years I was quite pleased that I resisted yesterday and woke up feeling quite fresh for my return to work today.I did however smoke a ton of cigs and even had my first beer of the year after donking out of The Bloggerment last night.I do love weed, but even after getting 9 hours sleep I was finding it was still taking me far too long to waken up properly the next day and I could sense that the heavy smoking wasn't doing my mental health much good either.

Anyway I made it in to work for the 1pm meeting with my manager and a Health rep.It was good to catch up with a few workmates and I fully expected to be back working this week.Well apparently my system access wont be sorted until Friday so my manager has arranged for my return to start next Monday! ( 10am-2pm) I'm not sure if I'm back on full pay ( been on half pay after 6 months off) but I wont be asking the Doc for a sickline for this week as I've made myself available to work and it's not my fault new system access is going to take so long.I suppose another week off before starting back on alternate half days is a bit of a result so I shouldn't complain!

On the poker front I've managed to win a couple of hundred dollars since my last post and I'm hoping the worst run I've had in poker has finally come to an end.I hit the tables on Sat night and was delighted to see the weekend poker donks were out in force and ready to spew off their stacks.The only adjustment I made was to raise 4bb preflop with some hands as my standard 3bb raise seemed to tempt the whole table into calling!

When you see players limp in with Q2 from early position and proudly show the table their flopped full house when they shove over a small flop bet ( and the original bettor folds) you know you're dealing with poker donks!

Note to spammers: I do appreciate that most of you seem to at least leave a relevant comment these days, but if you're linking to a casino/poker site etc then it will be deleted.

Back soon...

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Bloggerment open for reg...

I think my laptop must be on it's way out as it won't even let me post The Bloggerment banner without freezing up.Find it under the private tourneys tab on Stars starting at 9pm UK time on Sunday.Password is "donkament" and the game is open to all bloggers,readers,Raise the River forum members +lurkers!

To the poker and I posted on April 29th that my Party roll was sitting at $1576.Since then it's been more of the same old sick variance crap and at one point I was down as low as $1165.Last night I was over at the s-mans to try and help him improve his kill/death ratio on Modern Warfare 2 and I fired up three games before bed when I got home.I took down a $33 and grabbed 2nd in a $55 to leave my roll sitting at $1579.I suppose I should take heart from breaking even over the last couple of weeks after my recent run.

Righty,thanks for reading.Back soon..

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


So much for going back to work this week.I left voicemail messages for my manager last Friday and I half expected a call on Monday morning which would have allowed me to return on Tuesday.Instead I finally caught up with her on Tuesday and have agreed to speak to the "back to work" team on Friday about going back this coming Monday.A phone appointment with the Doc sorted out a sickline for this week.

Poker continues to frustrate the hell out of me and the only consolation is that I'm losing to so many beats/flips that it cannot be mathematically possible for it to continue forever.

The only other thought which keeps me going is that pro sng grinders who play 100+ Sng's per day would look at my nasty run as one standard bad week at the office.I took a break from the game yesterday and played a load more Modern Warfare 2 before going out for a pub meal later.

Not much else going on at the moment.It'll probably pass, but after nearly 5 years of blogging I feel like it's getting a bit stale and repetitive at the moment.Perhaps 6 months of sitting around doing very little whilst trying to recover from my accident last Nov doesn't exactly translate into decent blogging material or perhaps this blogging lark has run it's course for me.

Anyway, time for an exciting trip to the shops followed by some more MW2 and maybe some poker later...

Saturday, May 08, 2010

Sat Update

I spoke to my boss on Wednesday about returning to work and expected to hear from her again by yesterday as I've now received the letter from the company Doc recommending I start back working alternate half days followed by alternate full days in a week or so.I also asked about using up some of my annual leave before I go back to avoid being back for a few weeks and then being off again.I'll call my work again on Mon morning and either be ready to go in on Mon afternoon or book another Docs appointment to get a line for next week.

Step A and I went for a Mcd's last night.She told me on the phone earlier in the week that she's now officially left school ( she's not 16 until Aug)and that due to her truancy record the school wouldn't allow her to stay on.She says she wants to go into hairdressing so I called a local salon and discovered that they ( and others in the area) are taking on modern apprentices.The pay is only £75 per week, but that does include putting the apprentices through college.I explained to Step A that school would be a walk in the park compared to working fulltime as a hairdressing junior, but she seems quite keen and I've agreed to take her round a couple of salons next week.

There was a new map pack released for Modern Warfare 2 this week so I've not played a ton of poker.I'm still having my worst 6 months of poker in profit terms since I began playing and although that's partly due to low volume, ( I'd usually have played about 2.5k games instead of 500-600) it's hard to find the motivation to play when I still can't win a flip or get a hand to hold.I did manage to make $150 over 6 games last night and I do still believe that this nasty run of luck cannot continue forever.I did cash in the one $55 I've played since my last post ( obv AQ lost to K8 when HU with even stacks) but won't be playing too many more until I have regained my poker mojo!

I read a post someone wrote on a forum comparing poker to fishing and other hobbies where people are happy to spend some of their income on it every month.Personally I think poker is such a tough game mentally that there's no way I'd simply play for pleasure if I wasn't winning overall.

Right enough tired witterings.Back soon...


Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Champions again ole ole!

When my cousin Two Pies called yesterday it was no great surprise as I have Sky sports and I thought he'd be looking to come over and watch the the last Old Firm game of the season.In fact he'd actually managed to get a couple of tickets for the title winning party in the Rangers end.The league title was wrapped up a couple of weeks ago and for once nobody really cared about the result."We're only here for the party"...

We lost 2-1, but even when they scored their second goal the party atmosphere in the Gers end continued as we out sung and out partied our rivals for the whole 90 mins.The footage posted above was taken by a guy in the same area we were in and gives some idea of what a great night it was.They had a cheek singing their "faithful fru and fru" song near the end considering their pathetic home attendances recently and they were swiftly reminded that "You couldn't sell all your tickets" and that they'd "Only come to see the Rangers"! Good times.

I didn't play any poker on Monday and two $22's without cashing were enough for me last night before I played a little Modern Warfare 2.KK was busted by J9 early in my first sng, but in truth it was my own fault as it was obvious the villain was drawing on the flop and by the river there wasn't much I could beat.In the second game a villain shoved for just under 10bb ( 1960 in chips with blinds at 100/200) and I called with AK expecting him to show up with a worse Ace much of the time as people rarely shove AA/KK in that spot.Of course he did have Aces and that was that for the night.

Today's plan is to call my boss in a moment to get arrangements in place for going back next week,hopefully get the new maps downloaded for MW2 this afternoon and I'm taking Step A for a Mc'ds later.

Back soon...

Monday, May 03, 2010

Mon Update

My visit to the company Doctor went well on Friday, although it was probably made easier as I made it clear I'm looking to get back to work next week.He said he'll recommend alternate half days for the first couple of weeks.The plan is to speak to the HR team tomorrow or Wed and try and get something sorted.I may even ask if I can take a weeks annual leave next week before going back.( at least I'd be back on full pay!)

On the poker front I'm exactly $1 down on the Party total I posted last Thursday, although I did earn enough points to buy a $350 bonus which I'm now trying to clear.I've played about 4-5 $55's since Thursday and I've not found them much tougher than some of the reg infested $22's.The play may not be great, but I really am wondering if I used up my quota of luck last November when I wrote off my car as I just can't seem to make anything stick at the tables.I'll spare you the beats and suckouts, but after aprox 600 break even sngs it's probably no wonder I've played so much Modern Warfare 2 recently and cut back on the poker.

Due to running like crap I've not really felt like playing $55's, but as I'd posted here that I was taking a shot and people had kindly wished me luck I did play some as mentioned above.In light of me sticking to my word when I post it here, I also intend making a lifestyle change when I get back to work.Regular readers will know I much prefer a smoke to a drink and I probably possess the healthiest liver in Scotland! My last alcoholic drink was a beer to welcome in the 2010.

I do however smoke too much and from next week I will be saving my weed smoking for the weekend.I do find life a bit of a boring grind at times ( and then feel bad because I have it so easy compared to so many others in the world) and have no idea how I'll ever fall asleep at night, but cutting back on da smoking is long overdue and I'm going to give it a go.

Plans for this week? Well the s-man is coming over tonight,my new leather reclining settee arrives tomorrow and the Champions play the chumps tomorrow night at the Piggery in the last Old Firm game of the season.I wonder if the celtc players will applaud the Champions onto the field...

Back soon...

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