Littleacornman's poker n life blog

Back in Black....

2012-01-29T17:55:00.002Z

My broadband was playing up on Friday night which left me playing poker using a pay as you go usb dongle.I only played $7 6 max hypers as the connection was slow,I've got a bit of a cold and I was pretty exhausted after a long week at work.

Yesterday after getting back from watching Rangers beat Hibs 4-0 I had a hot curry for dinner ,confirmed my broadband was working again and watched an episode of "Banged up Abroad" on my laptop.I hit the tables around 10pm and registered for most of the Turbo/Hyper turbo tourneys in the lobby with a buy in of $51 and under.

I played 11 in total and apart from one terrible donkey play with 55 ( which saw me knocked out of a $16 mtt) I felt I was playing quite well although I was still losing key flips and running into bigger hands at vital times. I was also really enjoying the games and the challenge of adjusting to Mtt's.Even with my Stars roll down $1100 for the month at one point I still made plans to move $600 on Party ( not played there for months) over to Stars and to keep grinding Mtt's until I only had $3k left at which point I'd start grinding sngs again.

That was assuming I didn't cash in any Mtt's and that was looking more and more likely after crashing out of most of the ones I was playing in.( including my third TCOOP event) I was still in the $10,$10k Gtd but with over 2600 entrants and the decent money only starting at the final table I wasn't getting too excited about finally winning some flips and having some hands hold up.

With around 20 left I was quite short stacked and fairly card dead and only a few wee steals kept me afloat.I ducked and dived and even raise/folded AK to a reraise and shove at one point.( would have been against another AK and JJ which won the hand)

I made the final table as the second shortest stack but despite that I was really pumped up for it and remember thinking it's just as well I don't play much live poker if I'm going to shake like a leaf and get that excited.Rolling another and taking a few deep breaths calmed me down as did realising I'd really need to focus and battle hard if I didn't want to get blinded out in 9th.

Apart from my 44 holding v J10 I hung around without catching any cards or winning any huge pots as one after another crashed out until we were five handed.Not long after that I shoved A10 from Utg and ran into the other short stacks AJ.5th place for $1177 and back in profit for the month!

Pick that out!

2012-01-26T19:40:00.002Z

Before I bought Jared Tendlers book "The Mental Game of Poker" for my kindle I genuinely thought I'd probably be wasting my money as I didn't think I had any problems with that side of my game.In fact I've always considered it one of my poker strengths.I've never blown through a bankroll on monkey tilt , I don't berate fish at the table and if I do feel my game slipping due to repeated bad beats I used to simply stop playing.

Having finished the book I'm happy to admit I had more mental game leaks than I first thought.The good news is that I also realised that just writing down poker thoughts in the form of this blog has probably helped my game far more than I ever thought possible too.

For years I've also had a problem with just getting down and playing whenever I plan a poker session.I'd surf the net,watch training vids and do everything bar actually firing up the tables.The book helped me realise that I was delaying my sessions due to the accumulated negative emotions I'd built up due to all the previous downswings and bad beats I'd experienced in the past.

These days I'll warm up with a heads up game or a few micro stakes sngs and then happily dive straight into playing 6-8 tables.I may still take a breather when running very badly, but I'm also jumping back on the horse far more quickly than I did previously and the increase in games played can only help increase my overall profit.

Reading the book also helped me take last weekends downswing pretty much in my stride and I actually surprised myself at how accepting I was of such a nasty run of cards and the bankroll hit that came with it.That's not to say I wasn't muttering stuff like "You've got to be joking" as the beats were coming thick and fast but after each beat I'd immediately inject some logic into my thinking and get myself back on track without the need to take a long break or stop playing altogether.

I've been lucky with the poker books I've read.I began with "Killer Poker" by John Vorhaus and his "bet big or go home" philosophy was ideal for the micro/low stakes cash games I started out playing.I liked his views on the mindgames side of poker too and that was one of the reasons I chose the anonymous give nothing away name of Zagga as my Stars username.The fact the name is also a dyslexic anagram of Gazza ( one of the best footballers I've seen play for Rangers) also played a part.I wish I'd been thinking along similar lines before coming up with the stupid Acornman name I use on this blog!

I remember taking a lot from the Matt Matros book "The Making of a Poker Player" and other books like Double A's "Pressure Poker" too.In short if I was to give one piece of advice to any of my poker playing readers it would be to buy Jared Tendlers book.( and this is not a paid ad even if it probably looks that way!)

I'm not sure what games I'll be playing this weekend.I reckon I'll go down the Mtt route again although I may give the extremely high variance $51 hyper mtt's a miss despite getting so close to a decent cash in one last week.As well as enjoying the change of pace in Mtt's I also got to play with some of the big names in the Mtt world.I'm not up on who all the latest "ill sickos" are but I did resteal from Pearljammer ( a gutsy move with AK!) and locked horns with Busto_Soon,Thay3r and Rooney_Dives who I recognised from Pocket Fives forum threads.

I also played with a dutch teampoker stars player called Fatima Moreira De Melo and after googling her name I found it quite amusing that a hot looking top Dutch hockey player and TV presenter could be sat on the virtual right of a stoned Scotsman playing poker in his boxer shorts.

Away from the poker I enjoyed watching the second leg of the Copa Del Rey cup game between Barcelona and Real Madrid last night.What a peach of a goal from Danny Alves.Pick that out son!( love the Spanish commentary on this clip too)

I've been reading about the upcoming Superbowl final on a few US blogs and I won't be staying up to watch it as I've never been able to get into American football.I did read the other day that a Scottish born bloke called Tynes plays for the New York Giants.So does that mean I'll be supporting the Giants v the Patriots? Nah,he's a Celtic fan apparently so in the time honoured sports fan tradition of being childish and petty I'd just like to say f*ck the Giants and come on the Pats!

Ok,more than enough wittering for one post.Back soon...

Nasty Poker Weekend

2012-01-23T19:46:00.000Z

The poker lesson from the weekend was that if Dudley stops by your table and promises some run good expect the opposite! A few minutes after he had said hello my KK fell to JJ in a $27 Mtt and that was only the beginning of an almost surreal downswing that lasted all weekend.I played a load of Mtt's ranging from $5 to $55,some $7 and $30 hypers and overall lost over $900.Despite that awful run I made the money in one of the $25 hyper mtt's last night and when I got my 49k stack in the middle preflop with AKs v AJ for the world I'll admit my thoughts jumped ahead to finally making a decent cash and wiping out my losses.The Jack on the flop ended that idea!

I lost count of the number of times villains hit their crappy kicker,rivered me with the most unlikely of runner runner combinations and hit sets v my premium hands.It wasn't even just my hands that couldn't win.When three of us were all even stacked on the bubble of a $30 hyper the other two got it all in with AA v 1010.Of course they split the pot when the board came all spades and I was out shoving JJ into QQ on the next hand.

All that really matters is how I was playing and for the most part I felt I kept my head and played quite well.One mistake I did make was shoving Q6s from mid position with just under 10bb near the bubble of a $44 Mtt.I don't like just playing to cash in Mtt's but if I'd held on a for a bit longer I was pretty certain to make the money at least.

The positives are that I kept plugging away and didn't let the fear of losing stop me from loading up more tables and I certainly didn't lose any sleep either.Afterall if I'm going to step up and play $30 hypers and higher buy-in Mtt's there's no point getting upset at a pretty standard downswing.I'm hoping to have enough savings this year to pay the big bills ( council tax,Rangers season ticket and car insurance) without having to cash out any of my poker roll so I'll just have to take it on the chin,keep playing well and see where that takes me.

Going Downhill Fast ( or not so fast probably)

2012-01-17T22:19:00.001Z

My cousin Two Pies and I travelled up to Perth on Saturday morning to watch Rangers beat St Johnstone 2-1 with Jelavic scoring both our goals.My mid-life crisis must be starting early as Two Pies is a qualified Ski instructor and I'm sure I heard myself agreeing to go along to the dry ski centre he where he works this Sunday for my first lesson.Watch out Eddie the Eagle....

That of course is if I'm still around for that first lesson and my sis hasn't killed me first.I was over visiting my parents as usual last Thursday and helped entertain my wee nephew by ripping up a newspaper.Simple but fun! On Sunday my sis sent me an email with a pic attached of her living room floor covered in bits of newspaper with the suggestion that Uncle Acorn may be to blame!

Two disappointments today.I went into Waterstones book shop on my lunch hour to finish reading the Devilfish book and some f*cker has bought it.Next time I'm hiding it behind Fly Fishing by JR Hartley.( one for my older UK readers)

The other letdown today is protected tweets.I liked being able to read a twitter page without signing up or having my own account and now the only twitter page I actually read is protected.Maybe I will sign up just to follow one or two folk( the Big Sam one is great) but I certainly wont be tweeting.

I can just imagine todays effort."Nearly late for work after being unable to leave until I saw Big Chris safely land that helicopter in the latest Roary the Racing Car episode".There would be no beginning to the excitement of reading my tweets.And besides apparently my Roary tweet is 141 characters and that's not allowed!

To the poker and last weekend was almost a repeat of the previous one when I played some Mtt's without cashing and made a profit playing the hyper sngs.Overall I'm only about $50 up this month but I've played 643 games and I'll hopefully break the 1k volume mark by the end of the month.

I thought I'd post this wee hand just to show that even in the push/fold 6 max hyper world of 500 chip starting stacks and 2 minute blind levels there's still occasionally room to mix it up.I don't recall my exact reasoning but I do remember (and this is always important) having a plan.Perhaps he'd been min raising a lot or the fact he should have shoved with his stack size prompted it.Anyway in this case the plan was to cold call the villains preflop min raise and check raise all in on any flop.Of course the perfect flop and the fact it was easy to represent the Ace the villain didn't have on this occasion certainly helped.

Thanks for reading.Back soon...

Take me to your Dealer

2012-01-13T20:10:00.005Z

I was sad to see on a tv news item about falling newspaper sales that it's only an urban myth that the day after the Titanic sank the Aberdeen Press and Journal paper ran with the headline "North East Man Lost at Sea".That story always made me smile.

It's not been too bad a week considering it was my first full week back at work after the Xmas holidays.I caught up with Step A on Wednesday night and last night I was over seeing my folks and wee nephew before getting a call asking if I'd like to see a man about a dog.( score some weed)

As usual it wasn't straightforward and after driving to one dodgy housing estate my mate/dealer went in for a cup of tea and I had to drive some stranger to an even dodgier area to collect the goods.At least he was a better class of stranger than the one I met the last time I scored.We went to pick up this loser who was supposed to be waiting for us and had to go and kill time for an hour because he wouldn't come with us until a football game on tv finished.

This salt of the earth guy then spent the car journey to yet another dodgy place telling tales of how he had ripped off this guy and that guy and even the charming story of him heading home drunk one night and deciding to break a jewellers window to steal some watches.He was half cut too and as he staggered off with my money I did wonder if I'd ever see him again.Thankfully he did return and all was good.For anyone wondering,my dealer said he has known this excuse for a human being for over 20 years and that made me feel it would probably be ok.

I'm sure I've told this tale on my blog before but I've searched and can't find it so apologies if I'm repeating myself.When my friends and I were in our late teens I used to drive us to the obligitory dodgy housing estate to score small bits of weed.As I drove us there I sat in the car whenever we arrived and let my friends visit the dealer "Jimmy Snipe" to get the goods.One day I decided I wanted to go in with them in case I wanted to go up myself one day and without giving much thought to Jimmy's nickname I warmly shook the dealers hand and said "Ah you must be Jimmy Snipe,nice to meet you".

It was probably only the fact that we were such good customers that saved me from getting a kicking as Mr Snipe's nickname was only used behind his back because he used to snipe ( cut) bits off the weed he was selling and nobody ever got the weight they paid for.

Ok,after another week of non smoking it's time to take Nacho out before coming back to spark up and hit the tables....

Staying Calm and Carrying On...

2012-01-08T17:56:00.001Z

After losing about $100 on Friday night at the felt I was around $200 down on my end of December Stars bankroll figure and opted to get away from the hypers and play a night of turbo/hyper Mtt's.I watched "Knocked Up" as I played and could have made my own version of the movie called "Knocked Out" as I couldn't seem to win a hand and was getting screwed on the river more times than Tarka the otter wearing his new aftershave.

I suppose it would make for a more interesting blog post if I wrote about how gutted I was to be nearly $500 down for the month and how I had to try and dig deep to get back on track but in truth it just didn't play out that way.I've played thousands of hyper sng's and a bad run of 9 Mtt's didn't dent my confidence at all.Besides I'm well aware that I can't expect to cash everytime I play a Mtt session.

Anyway after the Mtt's were over I hit the hyper sng's,starting with some $7's and moving on to the $30's.I was only four tabling the $30's as they're still new to me ( only 200 played) and after buying in for the first four I realised if I didn't cash I would be over $600 in the hole for the month.That wasn't a nice prospect but I was really quite calm about it and kept telling myself that it's only possible to control my play and not the cards.

I played 32 hyper sng's before hitting the sack just after 3am and managed to go on a wee run in the last couple of sets, winning four in a row to leave me down just over $100 for the month.I'll never know, but even without that boost I still think I'd have slept like a baby last night as I knew I was playing well enough and that nasty runs happen all the time.

Back soon...

145 Game Hyper Turbo Session

2012-01-03T19:12:00.006Z

"I didn't text you Happy New Years,cos to be truthful and be blunt,I didn't like you last year and this year you're still a c....."

Is it just me or does anyone else hate those generic spam texts from friends/family sent a few hours before the bells at New Year that contain pish about "snuggling in your inbox" or "avoiding the midnight texting hell"?

I managed to break my sng record on Jan 1st and played 145 Hyper turbo games ( 6 max $7) over one session.I didn't run too well towards the end and finished down for the night, but I was more pleased at being able to eight table for most of the night and for getting so many games under my belt.

It was a bit of a late one though and yesterday after getting back from watching Rangers win 3-0 against Motherwell,I was too exhausted to play very much.My poor run at the $7's continued and at one point I was over $300 down on my end of December Stars balance.Finishing last nights session by winning a couple of $30's certainly helped make a dent in that.

Back soon...

Monthly Stats + Hats off to Pokerstars!

2011-12-31T16:05:00.000Z

As much as I try and focus on volume and not short-term results I do still check the Cashier on a regular basis during my sessions and last night when I logged on I did seem to have a slightly higher balance than I remembered.Now considering I was remembering the balance I'd last viewed at 3am after many many smokes,I didn't think much of it.

I've just checked my emails and found one from Stars support letting me know I've been refunded $67 as I played against other players who were breaking Stars terms and conditions.The nature of the rule breaking is confidential ( I'd love to know!) but well done to Stars for picking up on it and issuing refunds.

Now all they need to do is create a $15 6 max hyper turbo level as the jump from $7 to $30 is too much.

Stats for Dec 1st-31st: Pokerstars $4736 ( + $749) Party $604 ( =)
Volume = 1127 games.( mostly 6 max hyper turbos) Total Profit $749
Total Bankroll $5340.

Managed to come close to my record last night,playing 106 sngs over the course of the evening.It gets a bit fast and furious but I can now 8 table the 6 max hyper games ( in one stack) and if I can 8 table those games I reckon I could probably play 10-12 full ring turbo's/Mtts.

I'm only 246 vpps from Goldstar status this month and with an exciting Hogmanay at the tables planned I may just achieve that by midnight.

Thanks to everyone who has read my witterings over the last 12 months and especially to those who take the time to comment.This blog may not be read by millions but with an aging population and the number one spot on google for the phrase "senile old bassa" the only way is up.

Enjoy your Hogmanay and may you have a healthy and happy 2012 with plenty of run good at the tables.Back soon....

Funeral Songs+Ramping up the Volume

2011-12-30T15:50:00.002Z

Just a wee post today and I'll stick one up tomorrow with my monthly stats.I had a great Xmas with my folks and discovered that eating a curry for Xmas dinner beats the crap out of the traditional turkey meal.My wee nephew ( 18 months) loved his toys, although I think the adults were keener on the wee toy plane that turns when it reaches the end of a surface and never falls off.

My dating run good continued before Xmas when Rugby Shirt girl sent me a text an hour before we were due to meet to say she was still in her home town and running way behind schedule.I sent her one back suggesting we meet up another time and hopefully we'll do that early next year.With my 40th and impending mid-life crisis coming up next year I intend to step things up on the dating front and try and step outside my comfort zone a bit more in general too.

My football teams run good has also run low after losing the Old Firm game to our bitter rivals the other night.We did score a goal which was wrongly not given ( ball was over the line but ref didn't see it) but overall we didn't create many chances and probably didn't deserve to take anything from the match.We're now 2 points behind them in the league although we're only half way through the season and have two more games against them.

On the poker front I've played 425 sngs since Dec 23rd and I even had another night of Mtt's where I managed 6th place in a $25 Hyper turbo game for $600.( just under 600 runners) That was my only Mtt cash though and with all the other buy-ins included I was only up a couple of hundered $$ that night.

I mentioned I've been reading the latest book by Devilfish and although most of it contains wild stories about his life and poker play I have taken one lesson from it from it.He writes about how when a degenerate gambler wins money he doesn't see it as banked winnings but as fuel to be used to try and win even more cash.Although I don't aspire to be a degen gambler type I do like that way of thinking about my bankroll.

I've been trying to persuade myself to get down to the casino to play some more live tourneys.I do enjoy live poker but it's just so slow and playing one £22 game for 4-5 hours live when I can wager a couple of thousand per night playing hypers just doesn't have much appeal.Perhaps stepping up and playing a £50 buy-in might get my juices flowing a bit more.

Without wishing to get too morbid I was asking my parents about funeral arrangements etc the other week.Like anyone I dread anything happening to my folks, but I would like to be prepared and know their wishes etc.Anyway they asked what songs I would like played if anything happened to me and as I've not written anything down anywhere I thought I'd use this space!

I'll resist going for Highway to Hell/Road to Hell type stuff and instead if I bite the dust in 2012 I'd like the Pink Floyd songs "Brain Damage" and "Eclipse" ( the last two tracks on Dark Side of the Moon) played followed by Cat Stevens "If you want to sing out" with Frankie Millers "Caledonia" to finish!

Thanks for reading.Back soon...

If I had the wings of a sparrow...

2011-12-22T21:48:00.000Z

I mentioned the girl I went out with a couple of times in September has been back in touch and we've been exchanging text messages all week.Without going into all the details the text chat started out with her telling me about seeing Pandas and building bears with her niece and somehow moved on to her telling me that experience would get her a job as Santas helper and me saying she'd look cute in an elf outfit or a few other outfits I could think of.

To skip forward a bit I said I was jealous that she finished at 2pm tomorrow as I had to work until 4.15 before finishing up until Jan 4th.She replied saying that she would come and sit under my desk tomorrow afternoon and that 4.15 would come in no time.Lots of winks and smiley faces in our texts and more were exchanged along similar lines.

She knows I work for a big company and I certainly never gave her the impression I have my own office or anything and that made todays text message exchange even funnier.

I sent one this afternoon saying I'd made space under my desk and that I just needed to get her a security pass,adding that I hoped she was still free tomorrow afternoon/evening.I stuck the obligatory smiley face thing at the end of my message.

I was in a bookshop at lunchtime reading the new book on Dave "Devilfish" Ulliots life when her reply came in ( no smileys or winks this time) and I was cracking up with laughter all the way back to the office.

"Really?! Are u wanting me under your desk tomorrow?"

Maybe you had to be there! We've arranged to meet up tomorrow after work so I'll see how that goes...

No poker content today but I will have a quick rant about the stewards at tonights Spurs v Chelsea game wearing cameras built into their headgear.Now while I would entirely agree there's no place for racism or discrimination in any walk of life, apparently they will also be looking to root out fans who are guilty of using foul language.

WTF has football become? There are family sections for those with young kids and besides even without those areas of the ground it didn't do me any harm to hear big bad sweary words whenever I persuaded my Dad to take me to games as a kid.

Football is a passionate game and although the clubs treat us as customers these days and the authorities would much prefer us all to remain seated and silent,it's a tribal game and a big part of that is being allowed some freedom to let off steam,sing songs that wind up opposition fans and generally contribute towards the kind of atmosphere that's in danger of being lost in todays society where looking to be offended has become a national pastime.

I have a season ticket to watch Rangers at Ibrox and apart from one area of the ground where a lot of younger fans get together and create a fantastic atmosphere, most of the ground is sadly fairly quiet on match days.The only exception to this is the Old Firm game and even then I much prefer being part of the away support when visiting our rivals.( Two Pies and I have tickets for next weeks game at the Piggery!)

There's just something about being part of 7500 people making a noise and drowning out 50,000 Celtic fans rustling their sweetie papers.( and I'm sure most Celtic fans would probably say the same about visiting the home of the Champions!)

If I had the wings of a sparrow....

It's Everywhere

2011-12-20T00:39:00.003Z

Text message exchange with my Mum yesterday.

Mum 4.52pm : Black Ice everywhere.Be very careful

Me 4.54pm: Okdokay

Mum 6.12pm : Are you home yet?

Me 6.13pm :Out at shops but don't worry I'll be home soon

Mum:6.13pm: Good.Watch for black ice.It's everywhere.

To be fair to my Mum, both my Dad and brother in law both slipped on black ice this week.Not much of a shock really.I hear it's everywhere...

To the poker and I did step up to the $30's at the weekend, although I stuck to four tabling and took a few wee breathers whenever I went a set or two of games without cashing.There didn't seem to be quite as many complete spew monkeys at the $30's and although it's only a tiny sample of 82 games I didn't feel out of my depth as far as the level of play is concerned.Not that it matters over 82 games, but I did finish up $74, with two wins and a second place in my last three games of the weekend helping me come out ahead.

In terms of knowing if I can beat the $30's I may need to play thousands of games but even the fact I wagered $2460 and didn't lose most of it helps me feel more confident about playing at that level.

Away from the felt I'm just about set for Xmas.I also got a text out of the blue from the girl I went out on a couple of dates with back in Sept.She went off to New Zealand to watch Scotland play in the rugby world cup for seven weeks and I didn't think she would be in touch again.

I'm pretty hopeless when it comes to all that stuff.It was far easier at school where if you fancied a girl you would simply ask them to "go out" with you and if they said yes you were boyfriend/girlfriend until someone got dumped.Even dumping someone is now called "sacking" apparently!

These days it's "Well I'm looking to date, nothing serious though and I'm not just looking for a shag".Wtf does that mean?! Means you are just looking for a shag but you'd prefer a few dates of wining/dining to try and pretend otherwise!

Right,I've stayed up far too late writing this pish.Back soon...and if not then have a great Xmas!

Zimmer not a Winner!

2011-12-14T20:45:00.001Z

It's been a bit frustrating at the tables so far this month over nearly 450 hyper turbos.Although I'm just about even at the $7's,I cashed in $75 of "stellar cash rewards" and didn't cash in any of the three $30 games I played with the money.

With $3950 online at Stars I could afford to give myself 100 buy-ins to step up and really try the $30's.I did flirt with the idea of hitting them at 3am last Sat night after a poor run at the $7's but I didn't want to play them in a "chasing losses" frame of mind and I'll maybe give them a shot this weekend instead.

Away from the felt I'm nearly organised for Xmas.My Mum has got the poker bug back recently and has asked for a renewed Sharkscope subscription as a Xmas gift.I thought after buying her a "Build your own Zimmer frame" for her birthday last week that she would be happy for me to choose her present but apparently not...

I'm doing my bit to help reduce youth unemployment by paying Step A to clean my flat as I write this.Apart from everything being "retarded" she's doing a fine job!

Dudley sent me a text earlier to ask about using Explorer 9 with Blogger.I haven't a clue as I haven't upgraded yet.In truth I'm not a big fan of upgrades or change in general.A recent highlight in my exciting fun-filled life was discovering the local supermarket was stocking "original" Shreddies instead of the crappy "new flavour" ones they brought in a few months ago.

Ok,thanks for reading.Back soon...

While Stocks Last....

2011-12-07T13:22:00.005Z

I've been off work sick this week and I doubt I'll be going in tomorrow or Friday either.There's not too much wrong with me,( some would debate that)however I needed a week off or my head was going to explode.

First of all I had an email from my manager stating I was getting coaching ( which can lead to performance plans and eventually the sack) as my stats were well under the site average.When I pointed out they had my stats wrong and I was only .35 short of target I recieved an apology for any upset caused which I accepted with good grace.A couple of days later they tell me I'm getting coaching anyway as I'm still below the average,even if only by a tiny fraction.

I also waited all last week for the big boss to come and speak to me about what he is going to do about the guy telling lies about my internet use and nothing happened there.

Enough bitching about work! The girl who asked me to go to the school reunion this Sat has sent me a text to say she can't go as she is too skint.She said she could still send me the details, but Sat night is also when the two best football teams in the world clash in El Clasico and it's live on Sky Sports.Both Barcelona and Real Madrid are in good form at the moment and I reckon I'll invite Two Pies round for the occasion.

On the poker front I had a go at some $30 6 max hypers last weekend and after a poor wee run I've gone back to the $7's and won back most of the buy-ins I lost.

I'm still getting a lot more out of Jared Tendlers book than I ever thought was possible.I did see a forum comment which said it was great value at £17.99 for the kindle version. ( the one I have)Although it's more than paid for itself already in terms of improving my mental game, and compared to other poker books it's an absolute bargain,I still can't get my head round £17.99 being great value for any ebook as it's essentially still just a very long email!

I did watch a documentary on Facebook and it must be even more of a licence to print money than e-books.Some bozo playing a virtual pet game actually paid $1 for a fancy duck turd picture which he proudly displayed in a presentational box on his game page.Please take up poker Sir.You could have such fun...

Anyway I've tried pressing a few buttons on my keyboard and as the "virtual dog walk in the freezing cold and snow" button doesn't seem to be working I'd better take Nacho out for real.I'll be taking my pooper scooper with me though and if any virtual pet game fans would like a real piece of turd to stick to their laptop screen I'm undercutting Facebook and going with a 50 cent opening offer while stocks last...

November Stats

2011-11-30T21:15:00.000Z

Pokerstars $3987 ( + $704) Party $604 ( =)
+$704 for November.Total roll $4591

Played 682 sngs in November and as usual that was without playing any poker at all between Mon-Thus each week.I also managed to play 104 sngs in one session last Sat night which is probably a record for me.( all hypers though)

Of the 682 sngs 659 were hypers and after breaking even at them and winning the only $15 ,180 player turbo I played, next month I'm only going to play one $15 game and save myself a lot of time and pointless grinding.If only poker worked like that!

I don't mean to keep referring back to Jared Tendlers book, however I liked the example about a top sportsman getting paid millions to perform but not being paid at all to work out in the gym.Without the gym workout he's not going to be a top sportsman and without playing through the run bad/break even stretch I'm never going to take down the games I do win and make a profit.

Not much else going on.I saw an article linked by Everton Yorkie on the RTR forum which says that Facebook could launch real money poker in the UK from as early as the first quarter of next year.Even if only a tiny % of the huge number of Facebook play money players decided to give real money a go there could be very juicy times ahead! I don't twitter and I don't Facebook but I can see me signing up for the latter in double quick time if this goes ahead.And yeah I would give up on all my principles about privacy,online anonymity etc for a higher hourly profit rate.Show me the money!

I'm not sure how easy it would be to persuade play money players to play for real money.When I started with play money on Pokerroom back in June '05 I chose Pokerroom because it was only possible to reload for 2000 play chips per day.When Pokerroom withdrew their play money tables at Halloween that year I tried Stars for my poker fix and hated the fact that players were allowed to reload play chips with no limit.Where's the skill in that I thought.( without the slightest trace of irony)

It was that and the big Halloween first deposit bonus on offer at Pokerroom that first persuaded me to make the switch to real cash poker.And hey I'm glad I did or I'd never have become the anti-social,button mashing,carpal tunnel ridden couch potato I am today.Thank the poker gods I've at least made ( yeah prob less than the min wage per hour but still a profit!)some money playing poker and I do actually quite enjoy the game or I'd really be up the creek without a paddle.

As a real money player it's easy to mock those who only use play money.I remember being quite proud of my million play chip bankroll and thinking I must be quite good to have built such a roll.If you know anyone playing Facebook poker who thinks the same as I did then be nice to them,gently encourage them to open a real money Stars account and tell them low stakes sngs's are a great way to start out....

Back soon..

No Danger:Man at Work

2011-11-26T14:41:00.008Z

I had trouble getting to sleep over the last week due to the situation at work re my internet use.It wasn't being worried that kept me awake, but my anger at the lying bassa trying to get me the sack.I eventually spoke to my manager again near the end of the week and made it clear that I would go down the bullying and grievance route if this wasn't sorted out once and for all.

My manager spoke to her boss about my request for the company IT security guys to verify my side of the story and apparently they came back and said they wouldn't look at my internet usage because I'm not seen as a danger to the company.They won't be saying that when....I turn up with homemade sandwiches instead of using the works canteen.

Sad that these days I don't even feel I can write a jokey/spoof story on an anonymous internet blog about how dangerous I could be without worrying about being carted off in an orange jumpsuit! Paranoid? Hmmm, remember this story about the guy who wrote a joking tweet about what he'd like to do to Nottingham Airport after being grounded by the snow last year?

Anyway I've been told I've nothing to worry about re my job and that it will be dealt with next week.

Played 56 $7 hypers last night and after a good start I ran horribly and lost just under $100.( obviously missing the run good Dudley brought with him last weekend).I'm still enjoying reading Jared Tendlers book on the mental side of poker and I've learned a couple more things from it this week.

For years I've messed about for ages before I actually start a poker session and even when I was off work for nearly six months I hardly put in any volume at all.In part I can put that down to poker only being a hobby,being lazy and the fact that although the extra money the game brings in is very useful,it's nowhere near enough to make a huge difference to my finances.

I now realise my lack of motivation to play is mainly down to the accumulated negative emotions that have built up during all the downswings I've been through over the years.Not playing = avoiding more negative emotions.

I've also always thought I tend not to tilt or berate my opponents after bad beats because I'm quite laidback and don't have much of a poker ego.I'm very aware that beating low stakes cash games /sit n go games means very little when it comes to actually being good in the grand scheme of things.My overall OPR ratings aren't too bad for a hobby player ( see below) and the book has made me realise that my long held "no poker ego for me" view about myself isn't accurate at all.

I now realise it's actually my feelings of being superior to most of the donks I play with which stops me getting mad at the felt.If a toddler goes near an open fire you may shout at them or even give them a wee smack on the hand to let them know it's wrong and dangerous, but you're not going to lose the plot and start ranting and raving at them! That and the fact I don't have any great sense of entitlement as I've played enough hands to know better probably helps too.In poker too, we spend long enough trying to lead the toddling fish into the fire that it makes sense not to get mad when they do throw a few hot coals in our direction as they're on their way to burning through yet another deposit.

I also like my opponents to know that they may get riled and tilty after a major suckout goes against them, but ole Mr Superior here can just brush it off and not let it bother me at all.Wether it's with moves on the table or the mind games side of things,anything that can make opponents feel even remotely uncomfortable or intimidated has to be good.

Perhaps having a bit of an ego is a good thing.When Dudley was round last weekend I was trying to persaude him to play some $7 hypers and he was sure the other players at the table would think ( he only usually plays Omaha)he was a fish.That seemed a crazy thought to me as old Dudley has been playing and beating the game for years ( and all without a raise button!) and in my estimation would automatically be far better than all but the best regs at any $7 hyper table he sat down at.

Official Poker Rankings:zagga plays online poker at PokerStars.

120 days Rating: 97.34% Rank: 25,520 of 960,919

Year 2011 Rating: 98.27% Rank: 30,672 of 1,770,676

Year 2010 Rating: 95.17% Rank: 92,788 of 1,922,695

Year 2009 Rating: 65.82% Rank: 590,315 of 1,727,304

Year 2008 Rating: 98.28% Rank: 18,231 of 1,062,266

Year 2007 Rating: 39.73% Rank: 371,087 of 615,667

Anyway as usual I've rambled on way too much! Hope some of it makes sense.

Todays youtube clip is for all dog lovers/owners.You can just leave right now Josie!Nacho is still getting counselling after reading the comments you recently posted about dogs.

Dudleys Philosophical Musings

2011-11-20T17:18:00.007Z

Maybe you had to be there, but Dudley was over last night for a fine beers/smoke/poker/ session and while he was here he asked a question I'd never even considered before and which made me look again at life and my approach to it.As he supped his beer and stroked his beard * Dudley asked not why we are all here,what life is all about or how to find true happiness.No,Dudley ( and he got quite heated about it) demanded know "Just what exactly do spotty dogs do anyway?".Answers on a postcard...

He must have brought some run good with him as I played around 60 hyper turbos and came out ahead and I even managed to get old Duds to load a few up and he finished in profit for the evening too.He also played a few NL08 games and although I tried to follow the action I still can't quite get my head round this having the best low card hand shennanigans.Watching one player finish a hand with a straight flush and only splitting the pot just didn't seem right!

We were having such a good time relieving the fish of their money it was almost 4am by the time we got a taxi organised for Dudley.I called it for him and booked it under the name Dudley, a name given to him by Rosie a few years ago.I'm not even sure I rememeber what his real name is!

Dudley Do-Right is his full moniker and I think it was chosen because he used to leave anon comments on my blog and sign off as Dd and not because he's handsome,brave and daring like the Canadian cartoon Mountie with the same name.
He certainly looked pleased that he was going to have to confirm that name to the driver before he got in the taxi.

Ok,thanks for reading.Back soon...

* fictional beard added for intellectual gravitas.

Nice Wee Bink

2011-11-19T13:53:00.001Z

Hit the felt last night and after warming up with some $7 Hypers I loaded up some $15,18 player turbos and a $15,180 player turbo too.I won about $30 at the Hypers and 18 player games and managed to take the 180 game down for a nice wee score.

The funny thing was that as I was playing the final table I was thinking how fishy the table was and at one point when three handed I was able to pretty much run over the other two.I sharkscoped the last eight players at the final table afterwards and found they were all winners who had won about $220k between them.( and a couple had leaderboard stars too)Obviously playing better players meant they respected my raises more.**

When we got heads up and the villain shoved preflop,I called with 77 and lost a race against AJ that would have given me the win.After thinking "Here we go again",I kept plugging away and won the next two key flips to give me the win.

Of course if I keep playing $15,180 player games my profit from last night can vanish on one completely standard downswing, but for now I'm just happy to have taken one down.

** If you nodded in agreement at that bit,you're a fish!

Ok,just heading out to the football to watch Rangers take on St Johnstone at Ibrox.

Just time to post this youtube clip which made me smile last week.

I'll be your dog...

2011-11-17T21:29:00.001Z

I slept in this morning after not setting my alarm properly and rushed through my brekky and morning cup of tea before walking Nacho and heading off for work.I'm in the top flat of a block of four and as I reached the bottom of the stairs I noticed Nacho had sneaked down too and had bolted off down the nearby path.He's always in the hall as I leave hoping his Daddy isn't going to leave him until Two Pies arrives to take him out around lunchtime, but he's never run off like that before.

I was cursing that he chose this morning of all mornings when I'm running late to make his escape.I ran down the path shouting his name and then back up the path when I caught sight of him running off again in another direction.I was half way up the path,still shouting on him,when suddenly he appeared and a startled women also walking up the path looked at me as if I'd lost the plot.As he ran towards the woman instead of in my direction it became clear why.It wasn't Nacho! My boy had been in my flat the whole time minding his own business!

My day at work didn't improve my mood as my manager pulled me aside proposing to give me a verbal warning for spending too much time online looking at a Rangers fans message board.Regular readers may remember a similar "informal" scenario back in April
and as was the case then the accusation is completely false and has been fabricated by the same dickhead as before.

He sits near a fellow Rangers fan I was over chatting to on Monday about Uefa charging Celtic over "illicit" pro IRA terrorism chants from their supporters.Personally I couldn't care less what they sing, but they started the fire a few years back by getting Rangers into trouble with Uefa over chants and we both agreed that karma is a bitch and what goes around,comes around.It just so happens that the lying dickheads son is part of a celtic fans group who are most prominent when it comes to declaring their love for the terrorist group.

Speaking to my manager,I didn't deny looking at newspaper sites and I do like to read and keep the Guardian ( no tree hugging for me though!) Comment is Free section open most days as I like to read through it when I get a spare minute.There's no way that constitutes excessive use and as I mentioned above I've not even looked at the Rangers fans messageboard at all.Maybe there is some irony in the Comment is Free section motto that "Comment is free but facts are sacred"!

My manager ( lovely woman standing in for the bus driver as he's on long term sick) is on my side and straight after the meeting I took her to my pc to look at the internet history ( it's IE6 and only covers this week and last week) which showed I was telling the truth.I got an email from her about our discussion and confirming my request that the IT security team look at my internet use in more depth to further disprove the lying dickheads accusation.This time though I've made it clear I'm not standing for this crap and want action taken against him.Watch this space...!

At least tomorrow is Friday and I'm looking forward to a chilled weekend and to catching up with Dudley who is coming over on Saturday after the football for a session of drinking,smoking and online poker.I may even learn how to play an NL turbo 08 game, whatever that is!

Ok,the post title gives me an excuse to post this classic ( yeah that means old) UK cinema advert again.

I've just got time to add my congratulations to Captain America,Carlos Bocanegra,on being capped 100 times by the USA.He signed for Rangers in the summer and has proved to be a great buy so far and more importantly his Missus is a hot babe too!Looking forward to plenty of "USA,USA" chants at Ibrox in his honour this Saturday at the game.

Back soon...

Plugging Leaks

2011-11-12T17:48:00.001Z

I've only read a few chapters of Jared Tendler's book and it's helping my poker game already.I've got a bit lazy when it comes to improving my game and I tend to just jump on and play most weekends without reviewing previous sessions or giving much thought to any leaks I have.

I've written here before that I don't tilt much and that means I don't do the common stuff like stepping up levels to chase losses or just spewing off chips with silly calls and shoves.That's not to say I don't get frustrated.I played 75 six max hyper turbos last night and many of the repeated bad beats seemed almost surreal at times.I was actually quite pleased I only lost $69 after taking a real battering for most of the night.

Anyway this post is about leaks and the first one I have is related to how I stop myself from going on full on monkey spew mode when running badly.My technique in turbo/hyper turbo games is to tighten up and go back to my basic game for a few hands/table orbits until that sick bad beat feeling passes and then I open up my game again.I've now realised that this may seem effective and may save me spewing off my stack, but it is in effect a form of tilt in it's own right. Tightening up too much and getting even marginal push/fold decisions wrong will be costing me money.

The other leak I've identified when playing six tables of 6 max hyper turbos is that the action is so fast that I tend to just go all in or fold.Now although against better players this would mean my ranges are more balanced and it would be harder to put me on a hand,$7 players are only really focussed on their own cards and most wouldn't notice me trying to get more value by min raising stronger hands and shoving weaker ones. ( for example)

I mentioned playing 75 games last night.I only started six tabling towards the end of my play and I went to bed wondering how much I could make over a 7 hour day if I played 24 per hour.From reading the Two Plus Two forum today I think the answer is not as much as I thought! I've currently got a 5% roi over 832 six max hypers but I would need a sample of many thousands for it to be truly meaningful.Apparently most winning players make more from rakeback ( player points on Stars and the VIP bonus system)than they do from the games.

I also now realise that with 150-250 buy-ins recommended to be able to comfortably deal with the crazy hyper turbo swings,I really would be just taking a shot if I put aside $900 to take a 30 buy-in shot at the $30 level.I may do it anyway just for kicks and give myself a 10 buy-in stop loss limit to keep me within my gulp limit over any given session.

Ok,that's more than enough for a quick post on leaks.Back soon...

Stay or Go?

2011-11-10T20:19:00.023Z

From my school days I'm still best friends with the S-man,The Miami Trout( though I need to get back in touch again soon as it's been too long) and a girl I'll call L who I swap birthday cards with every year.Our birthdays are just over a week apart and I think we did have a hazy shag against a tree many years ago after smoking a ton of weed!( she has a partner now I think!)

Anyway L sent me a text today asking if I'd like to go to a school reunion curry in December.I replied saying "Hmmm and meet all the people I've managed to avoid over the last 20 yrs".I did add that it would be nice to catch up with L as it's been a few years.I also said I'd have a wee think about it and get back to her.

I remember seeing a similar idea on the once popular "Friends Reunited" website a few years back and thinking I'd rather puke up my own pelvic bone than meet a lot of people I haven't seen for 20 years.My theory being that I've stayed in touch with the people I still want to be friends with and an evening listening to how fantastically well everyone is doing and how great their kids are would be a mind numbingly dull experience.

I've a terrible memory too and once or twice down the years I've been enthusiastically greeted by a "stranger" I went to school with, and although they always seem to remember me, I stare blankly at them trying to recall who the hell they are!

Still,it's only a night out for a curry,I'll be going with L ( and maybe the s-man if he's up for it)and it might not be that bad.Hmmmmmm!

No poker yet this week, though I do plan on hitting the felt at the weekend as usual.I'll also be watching my recording of German Pius Heinz winning the WSOP main event title on ESPN as I play.I did find it funny that the news made Britains top selling tabloid paper who ran with the headline ( not on the front page!) " Hoodie wins Poker world series title".Hopefully his win will encourage plenty more German fish to play in my games at Stars!

I've been playing a ton of Modern Warfare 3 this week and I'm not sure I like it as much as Black Ops.The maps all seem small and it seems like it's back to being all about fast reactions and who has the best connection instead of being about outplaying my opponents.

The chat sound quality is dreadful too which doesn't help when playing with friends.Maybe I'll like it better when I know the maps better and I find a weapon I like using.Anyone who has watched me play poker ( live or via Yahoo IM) would be amazed that the same guy who sweeps through beat after beat without blinking at the tables turns into a completely frustrated raving ranting lunatic when playing Call of Duty at times!

Ok,thanks for reading.Back soon...

Fruity Hall of Famer...

2011-11-06T17:04:00.000Z

After making steady progress at the $7 6 max Hyper turbo's I hit a brick wall on Friday night and barely won a hand.I even saved a couple of the worst runner runner bad beat hands for posting here, before remembering that bad beat stories only just pip hearing about other peoples dreams on most folks...

In days gone by I would have stuck up a soul searching post yesterday about swings,variance and all that jazz, but I've played so many sng's I'd almost be shocked if I didn't run into 20 buy-in downswings on a fairly regular basis.It did make me think though that if I step up to take a shot at the $30's, I'll have to quickly increase my gulp limit ( the amount I can lose in a night without it bothering me) from about $300 to well over $500.

I've just downloaded Jared Tendlers "The Mental Game of Poker" for my Kindle and maybe reading that can help me with gulp limits and taking shots at higher levels.If reading it is going to help save me money, I'm half expecting page one to read " Don't pay any attention to other bloggers football/horse tips"! I've not been in a bookies since the Grand National and after Pekan King and St Neots let me down yesterday I don't plan on donating again for a while! The old phrase about never seeing a skint bookie comes to mind..

Before placing those losing bets and going to Ibrox yesterday to watch Rangers beat Dundee Utd 3-1, I popped into G-Force games shop and picked up my copy of Modern Warfare 3.It's not officially released until Tuesday and my first impressions of it are that it seems like a slightly improved version of MW2.

Despite having a new game I only played it for an hour or so before hitting the virtual felt.After my crap run continued over my first two sets of four games I could feel myself starting to get frustrated.I took a break and when I came back I managed to win some flips,get some hands to hold and eventually sneaked back into profit for the weekend.

I like listening to the excellent 2+2 Pokercast as I'm playing or when out walking Nacho and this week the two Canadian presenters were interviewing new Poker Hall of Fame inductee,

Greenstein.

As someone with barely any accent at all, I think I can get away with that one....

Back soon...

Who are Ya? ( and Monthly Stats)

2011-11-01T20:32:00.003Z

Pokerstars $3283 ( + $366) Party $604
Total $3887

Considering I only play poker at weekends these days I'm not too unhappy at only making $366 last month over 569 sngs.( mostly all hyper turbos and no play at Party at all) Towards the end of the month I also found it easy enough to play without using a HUD as it's the only way I can get Stars new hotkeys to work.

Playing four tables instead of 6-8 makes it easier to keep track of the play and I found the best way to assign ranges etc was simply to label players in my mind as regulars or randoms.Even after playing over 500 hypers I'm still not entirely sure if I prefer open raising for 2.5-3 bb preflop or just shoving all in during the early stages with playable hands.Against decent players only raising 2.5-3bb preflop with monsters and shoving the rest of my range would be very easy to expoit, but these are $7 games and for the most part I don't need to mix it up too much.

The next step up from the $7 hypers is straight to $30 and I'm tempted to give them a go with the stipulation that I'll drop back down to the $7's if I lose 40 buy ins.Only my nitty bankroll management and the thought of losing $1200 is stopping me at the moment!

Of course if I wanted to make some real money I'd withdraw my whole poker roll and buy shares in handcream companies.The girls in my team at work are obsessed by applying the stuff and don't seem to like it when they ask me about some complaint they're dealing with or some other problem and I offer the solution "Just put on some more hand cream".

Perhaps I'd be better off donating my poker roll to the local council who have decided to spend some of my hard earned taxes paying Peter Andre to switch on the Xmas lights in the town.The local rag even described him as a mega star! He had a couple of minor hits years ago and would have faded into complete obscurity if he hadn't been married to that mega trollope Jordan.

Mind you, maybe he is a mega star these days.Watching tv this morning the presenters were about to interview Cher.Now there's a mega star I thought to myself... before some no-mark Cheryl Cole look a like appeared.Cher Lloyd apparently.Never heard of her!

Anyway it's not been a bad week so far.I'm looking forward to catching up with Step A for a pub meal and to visiting my sister + nephew on before the weekend.I'm also seeing a woman about a dog tomorrow and buying the new Call of Duty:Modern Warfare 3 game on Saturday.( getting it early!)

Back soon...

Hypers and Hotkeys

2011-10-25T19:50:00.001+01:00

I played nearly 160,6 max $7 hyper turbo sng's over the weekend and still feel like I was in lazy mode as I was only four tabling most of the time and took regular breaks to roll up/watch football.Thanks to reading James Atkins blog I discovered that Pokerstars now has programmable hotkeys and they're quite easy to set up.

The only problem I have is that the hotkeys don't work when I have Pokertracker running.They are only in beta mode so hopefully the compatibility problem is one that will be resolved as life at the virtual felt is a lot easier when I just have to hit one button to fold and one to shove all in.

The main edge for any winning sng player comes around the payout bubble and I like the fact that the 6 max format means more bubble play than standard 9 player games.The players at the $7 level are generally terrible and are quite easy to run over at that stage of the game too. I think the edge gained there helps balance out the edge lost by the blinds increasing so fast and only having 500 starting chips.

I mentioned only playing four tables due to laziness and other distractions, however there is one other major reason for not playing at least six tables and for taking small breaks inbetween each set of games and that's tilt control.I'm fairly untiltable when it comes to normal turbo sngs, but I did notice when continuously playing six games that a few bad sets can cause me to start making bad pushes/calls.I'm still fairly new to hyper turbos and maybe I just need to get used to even faster swings than I see in my usual turbo games.

Tilt control and the ridiculous leap in buy in from $7 to $30 at the hyper turbos are the main reasons I've not been tempted to move up.Some $15 hypers would be nice Pokerstars!

Back soon...

Too Much Steam...

2011-10-20T19:37:00.004+01:00

In the same way bands tend to bring out greatest hits albums when they run out of steam I had a wee look at previous posts to see if I could link to a few of them for todays post.I changed my mind though as I've never been a fan of nominating my own "best of" and I didn't fancy trawling through six years worth of mince to find ones I liked anyway.

I did have a quick look back and the post that stood out was one linking to a donations page for a charity walk for cancer my sister undertook back in '06.The incredibly generous response from friends,fellow bloggers and readers was amazing and still nearly brought a tear to my eye even five years on!

My post from Nov '09 when I nearly killed myself in a car accident also made me stop and think.Although my side and back still hurt sometimes I'm almost glad it happened as I was stuck in a vicious circle of being stressed and depressed ( mainly work related) and smoking too much weed every night to try and escape those feelings.Regular heavy smokers will know that even on a trip to the Dam the best highs come during the first day or so and after that it's just more of a fuzzy minded feeling that kicks in.

These days I only smoke at weekends and I love feeling more like myself during the week and I also appreciate my weed far more when I do roll one up at the end of the week.I was so tired and kind of stoned over most of the time before the accident that it felt like I was operating with only half a personality most of the time. My memory of myself from the times I did cut back or didn't smoke was of someone who was far too outgoing and loud.( almost manic probably) So much so that I used to annoy myself!

These days ( though friends and work colleagues would probably disagree) I think I've calmed down a bit.Feeling far better and taking long walks at lunchtime also means I'm dropping off to sleep quite easily most nights instead of tossing and turning for hours with my mind whirring at 1000 mph.( which always happened when I tried to cut back previously)

I'm still only playing poker at weekends and although playing 6-8 tables and including more hyper turbos means I'm still racking up 300-400 sngs per mth, I'd still rather play Black Ops with friends online during the week.With the new Call of Duty game ( Modern Warfare 3) due out on Nov 8th I can't see that changing.

I may even have given up on poker altogether, but I'm a highly competitive person and I usually hate playing video games after a smoke as my slower reactions mean my kill/death ratio goes down ( and that's just not on!).Of course feeling more fresh when I do play poker also means I no longer feel burned out in any way and I actually relish my time at the felt instead of seeing it as a slow money making grind.

I did get back into profit for the month at the virtual felt last weekend,winning $240 over 95 games at the 6 max $7 hypers,18 player $15 turbo's and a $55 Mtt.Two Pies ( my cousin) was over and to change things up a bit I used up most of my 8000 Frequent player points playing satellites to bigger games and although I had no luck in most of them I did manage to win one $55 ticket.

I cashed for $64 in that game after having my Aces busted.I called a cut off raise from the button with my Aces and the big blind came along for the ride too.I used to always raise in that position but I could hear Jonathan Little's voice ( from watching his training vids ) saying that calling in that spot was totally standard and getting it on a seemingly harmless 9 9 2 board seemed ok at the time too... until the cut off showed 98 and the big blind trumped that with his 22.

Ok,I've written so much you're probably wishing I had run out of steam long ago! Thanks for reading.Back soon...

Hypers,Bribes and Pishy Pan Pipes

2011-10-14T21:14:00.007+01:00

Thanks for stopping by to read my littletexttard blog today! So much for my esteemed readers backing me up in the important and vital for world peace "do you use your finger or thumb to write text message" debate.If it makes any difference I should point out ( using my index finger of course) that I only started using my finger to write texts when I got my new touchscreen phone earlier this year.

Not got much poker news to report.I made a small profit playing my usual turbo sngs last weekend before having a go at the 9 player hyper turbos where I ran badly and probably didn't play that well either due to being unfamiliar with the right push/fold ranges in many spots.

The edge is just so small in the hyper games due to the faster format,500 chip starting stack and the lack of fold equity.I think there's some room to outplay people in the 6 max version of these games, but the 9 player ones just seem like a bit of a luckfest to me.

I read the thread on 2+2 and Raise the River about the proposed £30 million guaranteed live tourney the Bernard Tapie group have floated as happening at Wembley Stadium next May and if I'd been drinking tea as I read it my reaction ( in time honoured internet forum tradition) would have been to laugh so hard the tea would have ended up all over my screen.

Tapie was the guy involved in match fixing and bribery allegations when he was owner of Marseille football club back in the 90's and I still believe he denied my club Rangers our best ever chance of winning the European Cup that year.As for him taking over Full Tilt poker and paying the players back the money from their accounts I wouldn't be holding my breath on that happening anytime soon either.

At work our team got a new manager back in May and it was obvious when he joined us that he thought he could treat us like teenagers working in a call centre.( his previous job) Without going into too much detail our team get an allocation of complex written complaints every day and we have a separate team who take any calls from customers calling in looking to speak to us.Our department doesn't take complaints over the phone and our boss has found himself way out of his depth trying to deal with the escalations we pass to him.

Due to his attitude he doesn't get any sympathy from us and his initial "I'm on the bus going places" speech didn't go down well either.He's now been off sick for three weeks and has a line for a further four so hopefully he won't be back.One of our other colleagues is also off sick and the team chipped in to send her flowers and a card from "The team ( excluding the bus driver)" which I found quite funny.

I was going to have a quick rant about those American Indian blokes who pollute the Glasgow air with their feckin' pan pipe music when I'm out walking on my lunch hour but I reckon that's enough cool stories for today...

Finger Tards and 10 foot Willies

2011-10-06T22:25:00.002+01:00

Such is the nature of poker that if I'd stopped play after just a few games last Friday night I'd have been about $80 up on my end of Sept bankroll total on Stars.It's all one big long session though and finishing down $140 after a crappy run over the rest of last weekend isn't really relevant in the grand scheme of things.Reading about Abarone68 ( one of the best sng players around) and a $2k downswing at the 180 player turbo's has put me off those games for just now.I think I'll stick to the 18 player turbos this weekend.

Away from the poker I see my favourite danger shag,Foxy Knoxy,was released on appeal this week.I've not followed the case closely enough to have an opinion on her guilt or innocence, although it did annoy me that her sister didn't even mention the victims family once in her speech to the media after the appeal verdict.

I did find it mildly amusing that the Daily Mail and Sky News both jumped the gun and announced Knox had been found guilty again ( the first announcement made in court was that she was guilty of a slander charge)and that the Daily Mail was caught not just making a basic mistake about the murder charge verdict but actually making up quotes from the prosecutor to fit the guilty story they ran for a few minutes until it was pulled from their website.( see mailwatch for more).

I took Step A out for a pub meal again last night and it was good to catch up with her.She's bored,skint and frustrated at not being able to get a job and although I'm slightly glad she's not out drinking every night, I know from my own experience of being off work for six months after my accident in '09 that sitting in the house playing console games all day may sound like fun, but it's actually a pretty depressing way to live.I also spent most of '91 on a couch in a bedsit with no job and seemingly few prospects so I know a bit about how it feels.Watching coverage of the first Gulf War and going to the local shops in my pj's soon got boring!

She did manage to cheer herself up by having a go at me and calling me a retard.I'm sure you,cool kid reader,casually hold your mobile in the palm of your hand and can type 10,000 words per min on your Smart/I phone with your thumb when texting.Apparently only retards like me use their index finger to type out messages that take several hours to compose!

Thanks to the Poker News Team and the GirlNextDoor for commenting on my last post.I was very upset to discover via google that the Little Flo poem was in fact a Derek and Clive effort from years ago and wasn't in fact made up on the spot by the friend I was on holiday with when I was 13!

Here's another one from my younger years that stuck in my head and still makes me smile.( and no I haven't and refuse to google it to check its origin)

Old King Billy had a ten foot willy and he showed it to the neighbour next door,
She thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake
And now it's only five foot four...

Thanks for reading.Back soon...

Monthly Stats and Little Flo....

2011-09-30T20:44:00.008+01:00

Pokerstars $2917 ( + $542) Party $604 ( + $112) Total Profit for September $654 Total Bankroll $3521

Thanks for the comments on my last post although I'm not sure I'll be putting up any more videos of Nacho after he got himself an agent and is now demanding image rights! We're in negotiations as I've threatened to reduce his pigeon chasing rights and send him to the back of the peeing queue if he doesn't back down...

The Jared Tendler thread I linked to on my last post was an excellent read and although I didn't ask any questions myself, that was mainly because any poker mental game problems I have were already covered by other posters.I'm quite lucky that sng's rarely tilt me and I think part of that is down to having played so many of them and part of it's down to the fact that they're so robotic it's quite easy for me to stay self aware enough to know if I'm not playing my usual game. >

I did get annoyed at myself for a spot of over confidence tilt during a wee heads up hyper turbo game I played last weekend.I felt like I was on top of my game after making a soul reading river call and then spewed off my whole stack on the next hand after making an stupid fancy play.

I stopped posting monthly stats for a while because they felt too short term and if I'd made a good profit as the month was ending I'd play less to make sure any downswing wouldn't impact on my figures.Being about $1k up for September and still multi-tabling the very high variance 180 turbo's last weekend was hopefully a step towards banishing that mentality and was at least something positive to take from what turned out to be a brutal session of bad beats.

My "gulp" limit ( the amount I can lose in one session without losing sleep over it) also seems to have increased after last weekends 180 turbo bankroll battering which I suppose is also good news.There's never usually too much danger of me incurring a big loss as I always play well within my roll.The downside of that is I'm so wary of running badly I very rarely take shots and probably don't have enough gamble in me to try and get lucky on a spin up.

At work today we were having a laugh about daft teenage stuff and the girls I work with liked my favourite poem from my teens.Romantic,touching and even a little biblical I'd say...

Oh Little Flo,
I love you so,
Especially in your nightie,
When the moon flits across your tits,
Oh Jesus Christ almighty!

Jared Tendler on Raise the River Forum

2011-09-26T15:51:00.006+01:00

Thanks to the hard work of Matthew 'YorkshirePudding' Pitt, mental game coach Jared Tendler has agreed to do a Question and Answer session on the UK forum RaiseTheRiver.Anyone can sign up and join in, so if you have questions about the mental side of poker, or any questions about Jared's book 'The Mental Game of Poker' feel free to sign up and ask your questions in this thread.Copied from Everton Yorkies blog as I just realised I promised to mention this on a post yesterday and I'm too lazy to write a wee spiel of my own!Sadly my two week holiday from work is nearly over and it's not been much of a last week as the sore throat I thought came from shouting at the football last Sunday turned out to be a bit of a nasty cold.I was still fit enough to go and visit the Big Chap on Wednesday and enjoyed watched Nacho giving his dog Baxter more than a run for his money in the fields surrounding his place in Leadhills.I've also been for pub meals with my Dad and Sis and played a ton of Black Ops and poker too.My Mums hip replacement op went well and I've just had a text from her to say she's going home today which is great news.The poker was going well until last night when I decided to give the 180 $8 and $15 games a go and ended up losing just over $300 in 35 games.I can't complain though despite the endless beats as that's the nature of 180 turbo's and if even one or two key hands had held it could have been a profitable night instead.It's still been a decent month at the virtual felt and I'll stick some figures up at the end of the month as usual.And now that I've worked out how to upload video clips from my phone here's another exciting one of Nacho in my flat...Back soon...

Followed His Nose

2011-09-19T19:37:00.003+01:00

I'm still getting my voice back today after yesterdays fine 4-2 victory for Rangers over the darkside at Ibrox.See below for the a taste of the atmosphere at Ibrox before a big game...

After the game Two Pies and I popped over to see my folks as my Mum was going in for a hip replacement op today and I wanted to make sure I was in her will in case it all went wrong....I can joke about that now as I've had a call from my Dad today to say it went well and I'm looking forward to seeing her at visiting time later.

Two Pies ( my younger cousin) came back to my place and after watching the Man Utd v Chelsea game we watched the whole Old Firm game again and after a fine takeaway curry I hit the tables.

I was lucky I still had an online bankroll to play with on Stars after some shenanigans on Sat night.The 6 max hyper turbos I've been playing are only $7 games and as I reckon they're much less of a gambling crapshoot then the full ring version I thought I'd take a look at the next level up.For some reason they jump from $7 straight to $30 and I decided ( being a bankroll nit) that was a bit steep for now.

Anyway I rolled up a last smoke for the night and decided to fire up a few more $7's before bed.I had four tables open and was about to open a fifth when I noticed I was apparently registering for a $30 game.A quick check confirmed my four existing tables were all $30.Now $30 games aren't a big jump from the $15's I usually play on Stars or the $22's I play on Party, but it was more the thought that only a bit earlier I'd been watching some high stakes $1k hyper heads up games after playing some $1.50 and $3.50 ones myself.One false move and I could have been just about heads up for rollz without even realising it! As it was I took down one of the $30 games and cashed in another.

I don't want to curse myself but this month is going quite well at the virtual felt so far.I even made an extra $50 from Stars for coming 11th on a low orbit leaderboard thing I'd forgotten even existed.Due to the lack of traffic I rarely play on Party anymore but managed two wins from four games for a nice wee profit there too.

Back to Two Pies coming back to my place yesterday.He usually takes Nacho out at lunchtimes when I'm working ( I'm still on annual leave for another week) and volunteered to take him out a walk about 8.30 last night.After about 20 mins ( it takes about 10 mins to walk round the block) he still wasn't back and although my area is generally quiet, it was the night after an Old Firm game and I gave him call on his mobile to check he hadn't got into any trouble.He had managed to get lost despite living just a five minute walk away from my place.How did he manage this? "Well I just let Nacho follow his nose and went that way". They both arrived back nearly an hour later. Nice lad my cousin, though he won't be troubling the folks at Mensa anytime soon!

Ahh Glasgow women.Had a quick look at a dating site last night and one girl wrote in the hobbies/interests section, "Getting pissed and having a boxing match".I wouldn't fancy taking a broken pay packet home to her!

I don't usually bother listening to the football phone-ins as they generally attract muppet callers who have no idea about the game.I always make an exception after we pump them in an Old Firm game and I'm off to tune in and enjoy their hurt and the modest unassuming calls from my fellow bluenoses! What goes around tends to come around in football so I'm going to enjoy the moment!

Thanks for reading.Back soon...

Confessions of a Grandpa

2011-09-17T16:42:00.000+01:00

Anon's comment on my last post made me smile and rethink my Granny Perfume Girl name for the latest girl I've been on a couple of dates with.I don't have a clue about fragrance names, but I do have to confess to only recently throwing out an old bottle of Kurous.I'm also currently wearing something called U by Ungaro, but even then that's only because a girl at work gave me a load of free samples from her Avon book.What is they say about people in glass houses?!

So far I'm enjoying my time off work and have played a ton of poker and Black Ops.I was also blown away by the end of series 5 of The Shield.So much so that I've needed a week to recover and still haven't started series 6 yet!

Last weekends poker is a bit of a blur.I did play some more Mtt's including the $55 I always seem to cash in.( from a large sample size of about 6 attempts!) Until Bullmeister was railing me at the felt last night I had Stars set up to close any table I exited from and although I min cashed in the $55, all I know is that I shoved K5 from the small blind with a 14k stack (1k-2k blinds) and lost.It hurt a bit at the time, however I've still not checked Pokertracker to see what the big blind called me with!

Since the weekend I've played a mix of 6 max $7 hyper turbos,18 player $15 turbo's and a few more heads up hyper turbos too.I've found that by tiling four tables and then adding another 4 directly underneath the first four I can play eight tables without too much trouble.I realise now too that I was far too stubborn in sticking to the 9 player $15's where there seem to be 4-5 regulars in every game.The luck factor means that in the 18's there will usually still be a few fish left to abuse around time the bubble comes round.By abuse, I mean fish don't push or call with wide enough ranges late in the game and are easy to take advantage of.

I did mention before that I liked the meta-game battles with the regulars at the 9 player games as they're the only real break from the standard push/fold monotony of sng's ,but I also like having a big stack and pushing the weaker players around by shoving a ton and I get the chance to do that at the 18's.The bottom line is that owning fish is far more profitable than trying to outplay good players even if it does require less thought.

I've had a few sets of eight games where I haven't cashed and the swings are so big in multi-player sngs that at one point a couple of days ago my Stars roll was back to where it was on Sept 1st and I was thinking what a waste of time the first two weeks of this month had been.For the moment though I've pulled it back and have made a decent profit for the month, although my focus as ever remains more on volume than on short term luck.

Not much more to say today other than a quick moan about smart arses who say "Say again" when they don't catch what you've said the first time.Yes,I realise you're not saying "excuse me" or "pardon" as you're far too clever to need excused or pardoned for simply not hearing what was said originally, but coming out with "say again" instead just makes you look like a dick.

Tomorrow is also the first Old Firm game of the season.Our rivals sneaked back into the Europa League this season after being beaten in a play-off to get there by a Swiss team who apparently fielded ineligible players.I'm not much of a gambler outside of poker although I do put the occasional football coupon on.However I was kicking myself at not following up on a tip on a Rangers forum to take 6-5 on Athletico Madrid beating celtc by more than one goal as it was a licence to print money.( they won 2-0) Anyway hopefully we can thrash them tomorrow and kick on at the top of the league towards 4 league titles in a row!

Here's one of my favourite goals v Them from the 9 in a row season back in '97.I had a bad case of man flu that week, but nothing was going to stop me from going to the game .Can't believe it was fourteen years ago! Oh for a team of that quality these days!

Thanks for reading.Back soon.....

Just Came to say Hello...

2011-09-10T15:01:00.000+01:00

Thanks to Burnley Mik for his comment on my last post.The unwanted links I'm seeing on my blog ( and others) must be some minor ( hopefully!) spyware type thing on my laptop as they don't appear when I access the net from my mobile phone.I'm just glad it's not a hacking issue.Although I spout a lot of pish here,it's been my dairy for the last six years and I wouldn't want to lose it! It does make me think twice about renewing my Macfee virus guard thing if it's not going to fully protect my machine.

Mik also asked how I was finding the $15 18 player turbo games and in truth I couldn't answer as I only included a couple of them alongside the 45/180 player turbos I played last weekend.Last night after warming up with a few wee Hu and 9 player hyper turbos, I fired up sets of six $15 18 player sngs and kept six tables going by replacing any I busted out of.One session isn't always enough to judge how the games are playing, but they certainly seemed very soft indeed and I ended up taking more than a few down and making a decent wee profit of $180 for my nights work.

It did cross my mind as I was going ( stumbling more like!) to bed that if I'd won £115 in a live poker tourney I'd be quite excited about it, whereas online swings of a few hundred dollars in either direction really don't give me pause for thought at all.That's probably a good thing as the swingy nature of poker would drive you mad if you let it!

I was also watching Aliens as I played and smoking some fine puff after seeing a woman about a dog last week! The good news is that I'm now on holiday from work for two weeks and although I've no plans to go away, things are starting to get quite stressful at work and I'm looking forward to the break.My neck and shoulders have been quite painful over the last couple of weeks and while I plan on playing a ton of poker during my hols,I'm going to try and avoid being on the laptop when I'm not at the felt as I'm pretty sure that's what's caused my aching neck/shoulders in the first place.

I have updated my links sidebar and have deleted a lot of blogs which are no longer updated and added a couple like The Sports Punter and Everton Yorkie ( who I thought I'd already linked to).

On the dating front I did text Granny perfume girl on Monday to wish her a safe trip to New Zealand and to say we could maybe meet up again when she gets back.She replied on Tuesday to say "Thanks for the message" and to take care etc.Saying "thanks for the message" seems like the kind of reply I'd send to someone at work! I'll probably take a break from the monotony of exchanging daily messages about exciting daily life stuff with women I probably won't even like much in person for the next couple of weeks and get back into it when I'm back from my hols.

After watching Rangers win 1-0 away at Dundee United thanks to a Kyle Lafferty's ( ex Burnley legend) goal the plan for today is to play some Black Ops ( probably under my new PS3 online "U Futt Bucker" name) and hit the tables later while cheering on Andy Murray in his almost mission impossible task of beating Raffa Nadal in the US Open semi-final.

Ok,time to go and try and stop listening to the catchy wee tune below on repeat on my Ipod all day....!

Unwanted Blog Links!

2011-09-04T15:35:00.001+01:00

Hmmm I'm not sure if anyone reading can see links to spam web pages on my posts over the last couple of days.For some reason I can see the word "chat" from paragraph two of my last post and "cinema" and "bonus" from my Aug 27th post now contain links to web pages and I don't know how they got there.Even Amatays comment on my last post seems to contain a link I know he wouldn't have posted.I did a google search and have run my Macfee thing and windows defender and the links are still there.Has my blog been hacked or is it a spyware thing? Any help appreciated!

Edit: As soon as I posted this I can see links I didn't create from the words "games" and "money" to external sites.Grrrr!

To the poker and I hit the tables on Friday night hoping to continue my good run from last weekend and ended up getting thoroughly bitch slapped,managing just one win from my first twenty four $15 sngs and only a few 3rd places from a couple more sets of six games after that.Last night began the same way at the single table $15's.My Stars roll took a battering and was sitting as low as $1882 before I decided to take a break from the 9 player games and hit the 45/180 turbos.

The first few sets brought more nasty exits before I finally managed to make a couple of $15 180 turbo final tables.I took 6th in one for $106 and 2nd in the other for $495.The 2nd place didn't feel great at the time after having 1010 beaten by 55 for a huge lead when three handed and then by A2 for the win when heads up with even stacks.I did beat KK with AQ to get to the final table though and as we all know the poker gods don't owe us anything and don't keep score!

On the dating front I've not been back in touch with the girl I twice watched the last 1/2hr of The Inbetweeners with last Tuesday night.She had said she wasn't into endless texting and I said the same and although we did text a couple of times after each date, she leaves on Wednesday for New Zealand and I feel I made it clear I was free for dinner before then and it's up to her to get back in touch now.We got on fine on our second date, but there isn't much time to chat at a cinema date and although we seemed to click if that's it for now then so be it.Also it may seem trivial but her kissing was a bit passionless and her perfume smelled like something my granny would have worn and although I'm maybe being picky that's also been enough to stop me texting her to see how her packing/planning for NZ is going!

Of course if we do get together again and end up getting it on as a couple, I'll expect you dear reader to pretend you didn't notice the ninja edit which will magically make the last sentence of the previous paragraph disappear into cyberspace!

Next week is my last week at work before I'm on annual leave for two weeks.I did get my new passport through the door last week and considered a jaunt to Amsterdam but Two Pies is broke and although I'd be happy to go myself it's going to cost £400 for flights/hotel for three nights and the Dam is so expensive these days I'd probably be looking at another £300 ish in spending money.I can afford it, but I reckon I'll stay at home and just enjoy long lies,poker,black ops and visiting friends and family this time.

I'll also use some of my time to do a cull on out of date blog links on my sidebar.I realise twitter and the facebook thing have taken over from blogging in many respects and Black Friday has hugely affected the US poker blogs, but it does seem quite sad to me that there only seems to be a handful of the older school poker blogs still being kept up to date.As ever if any genuine bloggers out there would like a link just drop me a comment and if I delete your link and you start writing again just let me know and I'll add you again.
Back soon...

Monthly Stats

2011-08-31T19:33:00.000+01:00

Party $492 ( + $56)
Pokerstars $2375 ( + $368) Profit for August $424

Total Bankroll $2867

After a crap month stats wise in July it was nice to run a bit better in August and get back to being profitable,especially as I'm only playing at weekends.As ever with poker it's all about the long term and not short term swings and there's no point in focusing on a good August,bad July, or the fact I've only made a small profit over two full months of play.As I've mentioned before, playing heads up hyper turbo's has definitely improved my 9 player sng results as more 1st places make a real difference to my profits.It's only over a relatively small sample size, but I do feel more comfortable playing more poker when heads up instead of just blasting all in as often as before.

Away from the poker I had a second date at the cinema last night with the girl from last week.The Inbetweeners started at 7.50pm and after grabbing a coke and having a wee chat in the lobby we headed in at 8pm to see the film.It had already started and another couple of latecomers arrived too and sat in front of us.The film is the characters from the superb tv series going on their first holiday abroad and as the lads were moaning about how bad their hotel was it was obvious we hadn't missed too much.Even when the titles began after only half an hour I assumed that as it was a comedy film this was some type of jokey gimmick and the rest of the film would start again shortly.When the lights came on it slowly dawned on us that we had gone into the wrong screening and we sheepishly made our way to another screen next door where we missed the first 25 minutes,caught up with the middle part of the movie and watched the last half hour for the second time!

The date seemed to go quite well, although she is off to New Zealand next Wednesday for 7 weeks to follow the Scotland rugby team in the upcoming World Cup so I'm not sure it'll go anywhere.She did text me to say she enjoyed the night and will let me know if she can squeeze in another date before she goes.I promised that if she did have time for a meal out before she left we wouldn't start with desert,move on to another restaurant for the main course and miss the starter altogether...

Dates,Donks and Dirty Talk.....

2011-08-27T15:58:00.001+01:00

My internet date the other night got off to a bad start when I arrived at the cinema and spotted a sullen looking blonde haired woman who looked much older than her profile photo.After glancing across a couple of times and only getting a hard stare back I was ready to make a sharp exit.

Thankfully she wasn't my date for the evening and when the girl I was due to meet showed up a couple of minutes later I was quite taken aback as she was far nicer looking than her online pics.I did mention that to her, however I'm not sure implying she looked quite plain in her photo's online but surprisingly hot in person is actually much of a compliment!

I had pretty much decided beforehand I was going to enjoy the film and anything else would be a bonus.As it was the movie ended up being totally sold out and we ended up going to a nearby pub instead where the chat flowed quite easily, despite me calling her Laura instead of Lorna a couple of times! Perhaps it helped that approaching the situation with very low expectations ( after previous dates) meant I managed to resist talking complete crap at a million miles per hour like I usually do on first dates!

Anyway we've exchanged some texts and have made plans to go back to the cinema to see "The Inbetweeners" this Tuesday so as ever I'll take it easy and see how it goes.

Of course if I can learn to talk dirty like Simon in this NSFW Inbetweeners clip I'm sure my second date will be fine...

On Thursday night I was at Ibrox to see Rangers go out of Europe to Slovenian minnows Maribor.On the balance of play and chances created over the two legs we should have gone through, but football is about scoring goals and defending well and we did neither well enough.Back to trying to get excited about being being slightly better than that mob across the city.( who also crashed out of Europe)

On the poker front I'm still only playing at weekends these days and thanks to a Stars promotion I'm only 45 fpp's away from reaching platinum star this month.I pay that much attention to that kind of thing that I only just noticed this week that I had $80 worth of free rewards to collect!

I warmed up by owning a couple of donks at $1.50 Heads Up games.I like the rematch option as it keeps some fish coming back again and again.I beat one particular donkey several times before he declined a rematch and the competitive part of me loves the thought that somewhere in Canada there was someone sitting in front of a laptop/pc feeling sick and frustrated at being outplayed.Even if it is only tiny stakes, heads up games always seem more personal.

The $1.50's and $3.50's were only a warm up for 6 tabling the $15's and after my usual rocky start I played good poker and ran well to finish the night with a decent wee profit.After playing 8 tables ( and rolling!) last week I felt more comfortable going back to 6 and beating one of the better regulars heads up a couple of times felt good too.( though the heads up part could have gone either way to be fair)

The standard of play was reassuringly awful and at times it felt like Sng's from a few years ago when it was possible to almost fold into the money.

Ok,that's enough for today.Quick question for anyone using Blogger.Any idea where the spell check option has gone when posting or why there's a small gap at the foot of every post since I hit some upgrade button?

Back soon...

A6 Shove:Case for the Defence

2011-08-20T15:56:00.001+01:00

Wildcat
asked about the blinds/stack sizes in the A6 hand I wrote about in my last post.I've pasted the relevant part below and edited it to correct my table position from the small blind to the big blind.

"Coming 198th from just over 2000 runners in a $55 game won me $124 and meant I ended up $4 down overall for the night after adding up my buy-ins.I've been trying to lose my nitty Sng nature, although I'm not sure my exit move was a good one.The button raised and I shoved A6 from the big blind, forcing him into his timebank before he called with A8s and knocked me out."

In my defence the villain had a 25% Attempt to steal stat and I had been tight and hadn't made any recent moves.Watching vids on Float the Turn has made me realise I need to look for good spots more in Mtt's and worry less about what my actual holding is.

The villain did have decent pot odds to call, but would have been pretty much crippled if he had lost the hand and he would still have had enough behind if he had folded to my shove to make future moves.If he had folded I would have won more than 50% of my chipstack at the start of the hand and given myself some fold equity for future hands too.

I probably shouldn't admit that I don't even have Pokerstove downloaded on this laptop but I'd guess my A6 would play ok against his button raising range here,especially as I'm guessing he was decent enough ( 11 vpip/7pfr over 94 hands)to think I was ( 11/10 over 253 hands) only going to play back with a tighter range than I actually did.He did use much of his timebank which would reflect that.

Perhaps my resteal was marginally light and having paid the big blind I would have had nearly an orbit to be first to raise in a pot, however the big stacks had been quite aggro and I may never have got that chance.

Here's the actual hand:

Last night I hit the $15's on Stars after warming up (and finishing the night) with some of those addictive wee heads up micro hyper turbo's.I'm such a nit that last Sunday I did the HU challenge idea posted by Burnley Mik on Raise the River and chickened out after getting to $15 and moved back down.( the idea is to start at $3.50 and keep moving up with winnings and to start again after any loss)

By the time most Sng's get to the heads up stage they're a bit of a luckfest, but my HU game is quite weak and playing even $1.50 hyper games can only help I reckon.I've even started chatting back to some fish although I need to learn the tricks when replying "ty and fu too" as my fu's keep getting censored by Stars! ( f.u. works I've now learned!)

Anyway I played 30 of the $15's and made about $60 despite the usual sick beats and Ace rag being golden against any premium hand I held.I even managed the quite impressive feat of stepping up and 8 tabling whilst also rolling a wee number at the same time.

Poker and Black Ops is the plan for today,Two Pies and I are going to the Rangers game just down the road at Motherwell tomorrow and I'm taking an internet date to see The Inbetweeners next week at the cinema.I'll also be at Ibrox on Thursday to see if Rangers can overturn a shocking 2-1 first leg defeat to Maribor in the 2nd leg of the Europa League Qualifier.

Hmm where's the spell check option gone now that I've upgraded some option at blogger.com? Baaaaaa!

Back soon...

USA! USA! USA!

2011-08-18T00:12:00.002+01:00

Looks like we'll be playing the Star Spangled Banner at Ibrox this season after Rangers confirmed we've signed the USA captain Carlos Bocanegra to play alongside our other Americans,new signing Alejandro Bedoya and midfield regular Mo Edu.Bocanegra will probably go straight into the team tomorrow night for the Europa league game with Maribor.Hopefully we can still resign Carlo Cuellar before the transfer window closes at the end of the month.

On the poker front I watched the Rise of the Planet of the Apes last Saturday night at played some Mtt's on 'Stars. ( planet of the donkeys) Coming 198th from just over 2000 runners in a $55 game won me $124 and meant I ended up $4 down overall for the night after adding up my buy-ins.I've been trying to lose my nitty Sng nature, although I'm not sure my exit move was a good one.The button raised and I shoved A6 from the small blind, forcing him into his timebank before he called with A8s and knocked me out.

I went food shopping after work today and saw the most ridiculous sight I've ever seen in a supermarket carpark.Some daft woman had eyelashes attached to her car above the headlights.The motoring equivalent of novelty ties or socks and most certainly jailable offence!

Back soon...

Head In A Box

2011-08-12T19:21:00.005+01:00

Just back from taking Step A out for a pub meal.She's just turned 17 ( gave her a Machinehead ticket and money to go and see The Inbetweeners movie) and I thought she was finally growing up a bit when she agreed to go to the pub instead of out usual Mc'ds.That was until she admitted she hated the ginger colour she has dyed her hair and doesn't want to bump into anyone she knows.Back to Mc'ds next time I think!

I thanked her for the happy birthday text she didn't send me and she managed to make me feel good by guessing "54" when I asked her which Birthday I celebrated a few days ago.I did get my own back when we arrived back at her Dads place and she pointed out the "hot neighbour" across the road that she fancies.I've never seen her move as quickly from my car to her house when I offered to lower my window and shout "Hello hot neighbour"....

It's been a good week between visiting my folks,wiping the floor with Two Pies at pool and watching coverage of the riots Juice and Mr Edge started in London.I was pleased to see the those arrested getting long sentences for their behaviour though it would be even more pleasing to see all those cabinet ministers who scammed their expenses serving a jail term alongside them.

Work wasn't too bad this week.I had some fun with the girls ( well mostly middle aged women) around me yesterday when I was talking to an angry American woman on the phone and trying to sort out her complaint.She said that one of our staff had been on her premises and lied to her.Almost as soon as she made the lying accusation she said she needed to put me on hold which gave me a chance to hit the mute button and pretend to carry on with the conversation.I promised to have the lying member of staff involved beheaded and to send the head round in a box to mount on their wall.My voice isn't the quietest in the world and there were a few shocked looks from my colleagues before I let them know how it had really played out!

Ok,seeing as this is still a poker blog I'd better go and load up some tables....

July Stats and Useful Flushes....

2011-08-06T20:58:00.007+01:00

Thanks to Rosie,Josie and Wildcat for the birthday wishes left in the comments on my last post.I even got a card from the girls in my team at work addressed to "The Auld Yin" which is a bit of a cheek considering most of them are in their late 40's or early 50's.In fact, when a few of them complained the office was cold the other week I nearly got a slap for suggesting they just wait for the next incoming hot flush amongst them and they could all simply gather round and get some heat!They give as good as they get to be fair and I'm always kidding them on I'm on first name terms with the good people on the employee counselling hotline.

The S-man came over last night and we played Black Ops online with a few mates before watching Inception.I liked the film ( though it took a bit of getting into) and after a few smokes I was glad the S-man was there to keep me right with wtf was going on.To jump back to the gaming,I've had a headset for my PlayStation for nearly 18 months,used for mature chat like telling kids I've owned them and that they don't need their fathers anymore because "You got a new Daddy now boy!".I was thinking about a new headset as I've never been able to hear much once the game starts and the sound of gunfire and the S-mans noob toobs become too loud.That was until last night when the S-man pointed out my headset ( wee earpiece thing) actually has a volume control....

Today I hit the local casino for the £22 turbo tourney.My sister paid my entry fee as a birthday gift and also treated me to dinner afterwards.There were 78 runners and I felt I played quite well this time although in truth I didn't have any really tough decisions.The blinds rise every 15 mins and with a 10k starting stack, despite starting well, the lack of playable hands after that and the creeping blinds soon left me needing to double up.I called a late position shove with AQ from the big blind and beat A6,won a race with AJ v 88 and made it to the first break with a just above average stack size.

After winning a nice pot with QQ V JJ I was pretty much card dead and with such big blinds to stack ratio there really isn't much room to get creative.Eventually with blinds at 4k-8k ( my stack 44k) I made the final table of 10.We all agreed a "save" of £20 for 9th and 10th and battle began.I folded for an orbit and then shoved over the top of a couple of limpers with JJ,they folded and I was up to 73k.

A few hands later it folded to me in mid position and I shoved my 73k in the middle with JJ.I had just under 10 bb before the hand and when tightest lady player of all time called my shove I knew I was toast.It would have been stupid to raise/fold with my stack but she was probably the only player I would have folded my JJ to if I'd made it 20k to go preflop.She showed KK.No regrets though and at least I walked away £20 better off!

My Mum had a wee op last week and I'm going over to see her and my Dad tomorrow before heading to my local pub for a £15 freezeout poker game that Two Pies saw advertised.The pub is within walking distance and has been refurbished recently.It's had a reputation as a bit of a dump and I vaguely recall going there with the ex Mrs A a few years back on a Sat night and it was full of glakit looking couples nursing their pints of lager and staring at the walls.As long as the poker game is good and it's not full of men with tattoo's and folds at the back of their shaven heads ( never mess with such men is a good life lesson!) then all should be good.

July Stats: Pokerstars $2007 ( + $18) Party $436 ( - $367) Total Loss for July -$349

Total current online bankroll $2443

As I mentioned in reply to Josie's comment on my last post,the only famous thing to ever happen on the anniversary of my birthday ( and Sugar Bears!) was this delightful historical moment...( great clip though)

Thursday Update

2011-08-04T21:51:00.002+01:00

Since I stopped smoking da herb during the week I save my poker playing for the weekend.I do still enjoy playing,it's just that it's a mentally taxing game and after a hard day at work I'd rather relax playing Call of Duty than have to deal with the repeated kicks in the balls which are the staple of sit and go's.I actually have more fun playing Mtt's as I have to cancel my auto-pilot mode and think about the game.The problem with them is the time they take and I'm not a fan of Stars late registration as they just make the games last even longer.

The S-man is coming over tomorrow night and I'm going to try and get my backside down to the casino on Sat afternoon for the £22 turbo game.Rangers play Chelsea on Saturday afternoon in a friendly and although I've a soft spot for Chelsea, ( I saw them beat Ipswich at Stamford Bridge a few years back)I'm not paying good money to watch a training game.

I was obviously gutted to see Rangers fail to qualify for the Champions League, especially as we were by far the better team until two of our players stupidly got themselves sent off.Too much messing around over signings meant we also lost out on David Goodwillie to Bastard Rovers and although I'm pleased we've secured Kyle Bartley on loan from Arsenal for the season, we need more fresh blood in soon if we're to do anything in the Europa League and for the push towards 4 in a row.

My 39th birthday is on Saturday too and I suppose when it arrives I'll be willing to admit I've finally hit my mid thirties.( late thirties will come this time next year!)

Baaaaaa, blogger ate the rest of my post and I'm too tired and in work too early tomorrow to type it out again.I'll add my crappy July stats to my next post.

Back soon...

Down the Silverhatch...

2011-07-30T17:38:00.001+01:00

I finally got round to playing some poker last night, although I was only 4 tabling as I watched a superb film, "The Fighter" during my games.I also scored some nice solid and now that I only smoke at weekends there were a few misclicks and wtf moments when I thought I'd won a hand and found I'd lost instead.Stars speeding up the time it takes the cards to fall and discovering the option to close the game right away when I crash out means I've still no idea what went down in many of my knockout hands!

My first game of the night was a bit of a sickener.It was a 575 fpp satellite into an MTT Burnley Mik had mentioned was on tomorrow night on Stars.It was a 6 max game and the other players were probably all spoon fed their dinner as they were so bad I thought they were just randomly mashing buttons for much of the game.

I got heads up with a total drooler and probably blew it by getting a bit impatient when I had been easily outplaying the guy.He had just under 10bb when I shoved with K10s,hit a King on the flop v his A5 and of course watched as the Ace fell on the turn.On checking the main tourney lobby it looks like there's late registration for 3 hours after the main game actually starts so it would probably be a very late finish anyway.( and that's no good with work the next day)

When playing donks at low level sngs there's really no need to over think situations much of the time.I did note down the hand below from a $15 sng and remember thinking it was interesting as it went down.Looking back now though I'm struggling to remember why I played it as I did.I do vaguely recall that Maddi was a loose agro donk and the other villain was a tightish multi-tabler.

When Maddi donk led the flop I think I felt it was unlikely he had a Queen and on such a draw heavy board my hand was still good.When the button flat called my reraise on the flop and the donk called too I was ready to give up and didn't intend putting another chip in the pot.When the board got even scarier on the turn and river and it was checked to me I felt it was worth shoving to try and get the button to fold a weak Queen as I'd already shown real strength on earlier streets and could have slowed down on the turn due to potential draws hitting.I could also have hit one of those draws and I was hoping he'd be asking himself what he could beat and he'd fold when he realised the answer was not much!I probably had the best hand anyway....

Away from the poker I was at the Rangers game on Tuesday night and I don't think I've ever been as angry at a game before.Most of the team looked very rusty and despite missing a few chances in the second half,Malmo probably deserved their 1-0 first leg lead.We did win 2-0 today in the league but I can't see us turning things round over in Sweden on Wednesday in the second leg of the Champions League Qualifier.I hope I'm wrong!

Not much else going on.My wee nephew started crawling this week and I'd like to pass on my thanks to Bullmeister and Burnley Mik for helping keep the wee man entertained with the hard work they put into job of sharing the voice of Big Chris in Roary the Racing Car! Their duet on the theme song is definitely destined for chart success...

In my last post I mentioned the online dating thing can be soul destroying and as soon as I posted it I felt it was a bit over the top.Anyone who regularly plays sit and go games or poker in general through a long downswing knows what real soul destroying is like and in some ways I think playing poker has helped me bounce back quickly after some of the crappy failed dates I've been on.It's not all been bad, afterall I've had a few shags ( and could have had more if I'd been less fussy!),seen a few good movies and had some nice dinners!

It was only when I went back to work fulltime in April that I completely stopped smoking weed during the week and without getting too deep about it all I think it's taken me a few months to discover what kind of person I am without it as I was so comfortable with how I am when I do have a smoke.I just thank my lucky stars I never got into alcohol in the same way or I doubt I'd be here to write this!

Still I am here and it is the weekend so I'm off to roll one up....

Speedy Beats

2011-07-23T18:01:00.001+01:00

I was back at Ibrox today for the early start to the football season in Scotland and although I'm usually late everywhere I go,I made it in time to see our world record 54th League Championship flag being raised by the chairman before the game.We ended up drawing 1-1with Hearts and on the balance of play it was probably a fair result.

I've watched quite a few movies recently( True Grit,Paul,Kings Speech,Clerks,Fargo,127 Hours,Hangover 2) and last night I fired up a couple of poker tables and watched Unknown as I played.It's Liam Neesons latest outing and although the plot line is a bit far fetched I ended up only playing two sng's during the film.As per usual my first big hand ended up as a bad beat after my QQ fell to JJ.The Jack came on the flop though and my AK lost to 1010 in the other game.I did play a few micro stakes heads up hyper turbos much later on and although they are a bit of a luckfest they are quite good fun as they only seem to last 5-10 mins max.

Something Stars have done in their latest update is to speed up the time it takes for the cards to be dealt both to the players and on the board.So far I'm loving this improvement because my psychic abilities mean I have an uncanny knack of correctly predicting my opponents two outer on the river.The faster speed means the beats don't seem to hurt quite as much.

Before I settle down for tonight's movies/poker/Black Ops I need to nip out and buy a bandage for Nacho's paw after he badly cut the side of it last night.Thankfully it stopped bleeding and didn't need a vet visit but it's a nasty one.He was limping last night when I let him out late on although he seemed to forget about any pain when he was out earlier chasing pigeons!

Is he as daft as the dog in the clip below? Probably!

This weeks plan is to go to the Gers Champions League qualifier on Tues,catch up with Step A on Wed evening and head over to my parents place on Thursday after work to see them and my wee nephew.

I'm also dipping my toes back into the online dating thing and trying to keep a thick skin about it all.It's such an ego boosting/soul destroying way of getting in touch with women.Ideally I'd still like kids of my own at some point,but I'm going to be 39 in a few weeks and if that's not going to happen then apart from the obvious ( and there's quite a few women on a free dating site available for that!) I'm really not in any rush to get into a relationship.Maybe I'm too selfish and set in my ways for relationship stuff anyway.Time and some more fun dates will tell I suppose!

Just switched on the tv to see the breaking news about Amy Winehouse dying.With her drink/drug problems it shouldn't be too much of a surprise but I still feel quite shocked.Her voice was incredible and her "Back to Black" album is still one of my favourites and helped me get through my break up with the Ex Mrs Acorn a few years ago.RIP Amy.

Late Night,Small Cash

2011-07-19T20:47:00.000+01:00

I fired up the Pokernews tourney on Sat night at 8pm only to find it had actually started at 7.With a 30k starting stack and 15 min blind levels my error didn’t cost me many chips and I managed to double up a couple of times with Aces within the first couple of hours.After my weekend mauling at Party it took me a while to settle into the game and in truth I don't think I played very well at all.I didn't do enough 3 and 4 betting and although the structure obviously favoured more skilled players I'm certainly not in that group when it comes to deep stacked multi-table tourneys.

My first real play of the game came about when I raised with 7h6h from early position and was re raised by a fairly loose aggro player in the big blind.I shoved all in over the top of his raise and he called with AK.I nipped to the toilet as the hand played out and when I returned I discovered I'd doubled through and earned some nasty chatbox abuse from the AK villain, which after a few smokes only raised a smile.( I didn't bother replying)

Just under 5000 players started and by 3-4am I was more than ready for bed.A quick look at the payout structure revealed it was very top heavy and I'd need to make the top 10 for a decent cash.( just over $10k was the first prize) I felt I should have been open raising more often around this time, although it was difficult as most of the other stacks at my table were far smaller than mine and the perfect size for shoving over any raises I made.

About 5am I raised with 4d5d from early position and called a reraise.When two diamonds came on the flop I led out and when shoved on I made a tired donkey call and missed my flush v KK.I was veering between being desperate for my bed and telling myself I'd already played for nine hours and I'd be letting myself down if I donked off the rest of my chips at that stage.After that hand I was down to just over 1m chips with the blinds/antes totalling 105k.I effectively had 10 big blinds and plenty of sng experience so that's when I felt most comfortable and I began shoving quite liberally to chip up again.

I finally busted in 41st place for $128 when I called a raise with Aces and check raised the original raiser on a 5 J 10 flop.He had 55 and that was that.I didn't feel too bad as I'd run well enough to get to that position in the first place and I wasn't playing great poker.I was too focused on my own cards even during hands I was involved in.I could put that down to tiredness and the fact that although having a wee smoke helps my game, I was nearly comatose by 3am!

Although I was completely exhausted yesterday after 5 hours sleep at least I'd cashed and the time spent earning that $128 put me off just gambling away my last $260 on Party by playing $55 sngs! I watched "Source Code" last night,played only four sngs and had an early one.
`
Walking through Glasgow at lunchtime today I saw a sign stating "Caution:Men Working Overhead" beside an office block and it seemed really stupid to me as it's not as if they guys above cleaning the windows are going to fall and land on me.There's something to mention on my blog I thought...As I walked a bit further I was suddenly soaked by water coming from the cleaners above and the warning sign didn't seen so silly!

Back soon....

Hols Nearly Over...

2011-07-17T17:38:00.001+01:00

It's a bank holiday tomorrow and then I'm back to work on Tuesday after two weeks away from the fun factory.During my first week off I took Nacho up to visit the Big Chap in Ledhills which is one of the highest villages in Britain and has the oldest public library in the world.Nacho( half staff/half whippet) more than gave Baxter ( the Big Chaps greyhound) a run for his money and even managed to leave the Big Chap bruised and battered after an accidental collision!My car passed it's MOT,I've been to visit my wee nephew a few times and I spent the rest of my time off playing poker,Black Ops,watching movies and more of The Shield.

On the poker front everything was going well until Friday evening when my doomswitch must have been activated on Party.I read Burnley Mik posting about not winning flips on Raise the River and remember thinking I would love it if it was only flips I was losing! Running into monsters,Running into hands just better than mine,losing when miles ahead,shorties always hitting 2 outers to double up on the bubble.It just went on and on and on.( over nearly 150 games so far).Even after playing thousands and thousand of sng's it's hard to stay sane in the face of such a barrage of constant bad luck, even if I kept telling myself it's only over a tiny sample size and really very standard.

My brain says that logically each new hand is unconnected to the last etc etc and then my first premium hand of the evening gets cracked and the streak continues.I was even tempted to buy Holdem Manager ( I use Pokertracker) just to find out how far "below EV" I'm running!

Anyway the bottom line is that it's cost me around 25 buy-ins ( sounds better then $550!).I'm sorely tempted to just cashout the remaining $260 on Party or gamble and play a few $55's.I still have $2k on Stars and with the better sng structure,superior software and higher traffic levels I reckon making Stars my only site is probably a good idea.

Burnley Mik also posted a thread about a Pokernews tourney on tonight and I've registered already and will probably donate some more $$ on a last longer bet too.

Not much else going on.I reckon Rosie and Lightning were right about the latest girl I went out for dinner with and after sending her a text to say I hope she has a nice holiday ( she's in the States just now) and not getting a reply I won't be in touch with her again.On the upside it saves me buying her a 40th birthday present although I am stuck with a copy of Kung Fu Panda 2 on dvd that I'll never watch!

I'll maybe get back into the dating thing over the next few weeks and as a wee ego boost I'm thinking of trying to persuade my family to go on the Jeremy Kyle show.I caught a bit of it the other night and was amazed to see that the audience will give you a huge round of applause simply for passing a lie detector test which proves you didn't steal an expensive bracelet from your own Mother."Bravo,well done for not robbing from your own family,you fine upstanding member of the community".....

Ok,thanks for reading and try and run better than me if you're playing poker....

BBC Blofeld Clown

2011-07-04T18:48:00.001+01:00

If only relationships were like low stakes turbo sit and go's because if they were I might have a clue what I'm doing! Since my date last Tues we've continued texting each other and had a wee chat on the phone on Fri night.After making a loose agreement to go out again early this week we didn't share any texts on Sat.I sent her one yesterday evening suggesting we go out tonight or Wed and there was no reply.

I decided to send one last message today and she came back to say she got a bit much sun yesterday and went to bed early with her wee girl.Last week she didn't reply to a text because she fell asleep on the couch when she got in.She is still saying she would love to see me again though and she's trying to get a babysitter for Thursday night.( She goes away to Florida on Sat for 2 weeks) After rushing in a bit with previous relationships I'm happy to take it slowly,see how it goes and hopefully build some trust.

Re the trust issue, even if she has been out dating most nights ( does suspecting that make me paranoid or realistic?!) does it really matter if we've only been out once anyway? I'm staying away from other dates mainly because I'm off work for two weeks and want to enjoy seeing friends/family,playing poker/black ops and smoking some fine herbs.I suppose there's also a bit of me that feels it would be unfair to go out with anyone else until I see what develops with this girl.I do really like her, although it's hard finding the balance between playing it cool and not being so casual about it she thinks I don't care.

She actually turns 40 while she's away on her hols and if we do meet up on Thus I need to decide what I get someone for their 40th when I've only been on one date with them.One of her favourite films is Kung Fu Panda and so far someone I know ( ahem) has downloaded Kung Fu Panda 2 onto a dvd for her, but I'm thinking one freebie pirated dvd isn't really much of a gift!

On the poker front I had a decent weekend at the felt and played a few profitable sets of $22's on Party and $15's on Stars.Two Pies was over on Sat night for the Haye fight and I'm glad he decided to treat his big cousin to the pay per view offering as it was a complete waste of money.Haye was like an annoying wasp with no sting and big Wlad just swatted him away with his jab all night.Haye may have talked the talk but he barely laid a glove on his opponent and I certainly won't be shelling out the pay per view fee if there's a rematch.

This week the plan is to go and see my wee nephew and parents tomorrow before heading over with Nacho to see The Big Chap and Baxter.( his dog)My car's MOT is on Wed and on Thurs I'm getting my broadband upgraded to 50 meg.( now someone I know is downloading the latest movies via torrent things a faster connection should help)

I had some clown from the tv licencing at the door earlier.I've never paid for one since I left home about 20 years ago and when I opened the front door using the wee security chain we did the "Are you Mr Acorn"?,"Who wants to know"? dance for a couple of minutes before I shut the door on him.He knocked for a while before finally giving up and putting a warning letter through my door.He had hand written on it in capital letters that "You will just get a fine if you keep refusing to cooperate".The muppet must think he's a James feckin Bond villain or something."Refusing to cooperate" indeed! Still,if I end up in an orange jumpsuit in Guantánamo Bay I suppose it'll be my own fault....

Thanks for reading.Back in a week or so after my hols...

Stats and Bring a Torch!

2011-06-29T19:40:00.000+01:00

My date on Sat night ended up being a waste of time.She was nice enough, but after an hour of small talk the conversation died and when she mentioned she was probably going to head up the road I was happy to reel off the standard "Well it was nice to have met you,I'd better go and get my bus" speech.After my experience with my neighbour and other dates over the last few months I was beginning to wonder if it was my own social skills that were lacking.On reflection though if I don't feel any spark with someone then I'm not going feign interest and pretend otherwise and I guess women on dates feel exactly the same.

The other girl I was texting reckoned the first pub I'd suggested for a meal wasn't up to much and then wanted to speak on the phone first before meeting.On Mon night she'd said was going out with her brother for a couple of hours and would text and then call me later.After she didn't call I pretty much decided to forget the whole dating thing and enjoy my upcoming two weeks off work.

She did text me the next morning to say she'd fallen asleep on the couch when she got in but that did make me a little wary.We eventually spoke on the phone at lunchtime and met up for dinner last night.My initial instinct had been to ignore her morning text and move on, but I'm glad I didn't as she was lovely and we hit it off quite well.She was far better looking than her profile pic,was easy to chat to and we come from similar backgrounds too.

We've been texting each other last night and today and as her wee girl is away staying with her Dad until Sunday I'm hoping we can arrange another date for the weekend.
I'll take things easy with this new girl and see how it goes.If it doesn't work out there are still thousands of awesome girls out there.Here a few choice quotes from "profiles" I was looking at the other night…

For environmentally friendly blokes there's the girl who is "100% recycled Awesome".Another girl who has obviously watched too much reality tv declared "I'm a fan of awesomeness".Hey,aren't we all?!

It's amazing anyone on the site is single as everyone is easy going,honest and loves to laugh.Either that or they're just "totally crazy" or as one girl wrote "zippy and zonkers".The girl who wrote the quote below looked like Noddy Holder.I did like her profile statement although I'm not sure where the "darkside" comes into things...."I'm not over the hill or under it,I'm dancing and laughing around it.Come to the darkside.Bring a torch."

I've added my monthly poker stats for June and have decided to keep the $524 I cashed out on pokers Black Friday in my bank account.

Pokerstars $1989 ( + $395 for June)

Party $803 ( -$74 for June)

Total $2792

Total profit of $321 for June

Back soon....

Orly!

2011-06-24T17:58:00.004+01:00

I'm back in the habit of not playing any poker during the week.This can be a bit of a problem when trying to come up with poker related stuff for my blog,especially as beyond dreaming of playing in the main event one day,I really don't have much interest in which young hotshot has taken down the latest tourney at the WSOP in Vegas.

I will be hitting the tables tonight though before heading into Glasgow for another internet date tomorrow evening.I've been texting two women this week and felt a bit guilty telling Woman 1 that I was visiting the Big Chap in Ledhills ( a place miles away with no mobile reception!) on Sat night.I was thinking about asking W1 out tonight, but she said she's visiting a friend for a couple of hours which is probably her way of avoiding having to tell me she's going out on a date!

Ahh well its' a ruthless game and if she is still free and it doesn't work out with Woman 2 on Sat night then maybe I'll take her out next weekend.

I've never been the most stylish of blokes and although I don't think I have any issues with confidence/self-esteem,I don't delude myself that I'm particularly special either.( special needs maybe!) My philosophy on life tends to be that nobody else is that special either and that as the Pink Floyd put it, we're "all just bricks in the wall". I'm not at all religious and John Grays "Straw Dogs" book which ( in simple terms) says us humans are not separate from animals and are simply driven by the same instincts and urges made a lot of sense to me.

Having said that if I don't want to be single forever I suppose I need to learn to play the game a bit better and try and sell myself a bit more pro-actively.All of this is just a roundabout way of saying I splashed out nearly £50 this week on a couple of new Bench shirts! I did have a look in the Diesel shop today though and nearly fainted when I saw they were selling t-shirts for £70 and jeans at £130.The much used internet forum "Orly Owl" pic below sprung to mind at those prices!

I'm probably just being an out of touch old slob!

Before I hit the publish button on this post I turned on the tv and there was a kids quiz show on.They played a bit of music and the kids had to guess it's name.I loved one kid asking if it was the "National Theme Song" and the presenter enquiring further and discovering the kid meant the national anthem! It would be great if they took a lead from that kid at next years Olympics and asked the crowds to "Please be upstanding for the National Theme song of the United Kingdom"....Made me smile anyway!

Back soon...

But How Much Did You Lose?

2011-06-19T17:45:00.000+01:00

Football will always be my favourite sport, but I like big sporting occasions in general and having read the hype about the Stanley Cup final last week, I discovered I actually have ESPN America and recorded the game on Wed night to watch later.Unlike football over here I thought it would be easy to avoid the score, until I switched on the BBC News the next morning and saw coverage of the riots which followed the big game! I still watched it on Friday night, however making a 60 minute match into a 3 hour programme to accommodate adverts and classic moment clips every few minutes drove me nuts.Just play some uninterrupted hockey ffs!

I went to the Alea Casino yesterday for the £22 turbo tourney and sadly didn't cash.I came around 15th from 81 starters and having played a few live games recently I think I'm starting to pick up on a few basic tells.The guy wincing at the flop and then going all in obviously had a monster ( the old weak means strong tell) and a couple of players always seemed to use more chips of a lower value when betting with a weak hand.

I was annoyed at my exit because I'd just paid the big blind ( 3k/6k) and was moved into the bb again at my new table,leaving me with a tiny stack.After another card dead orbit,I shoved K4 when it folded to me on the button,both blinds folded and the dealer was pushing me the chips when our side of the table realised someone had already shoved all in.My K4 didn't improve v his A8 and that was that.

Away from the poker, my neighbour downstairs has a new boyfriend and the good news is that I genuinely don't care.As I posted before I think it was just a bit of a crush and the reality just didn't live up to the fantasy I had in my head of how it would be if we got together.Not long after I'd asked her out she sent me a text and came up to mine late on a Sat night after she'd had a few drinks and we ended up in my bedroom.Sure the bedroom part was fun, but she came across as a bit of a chav/ned type when she was drunk and I can look back now and just feel glad to have got it out of my system and to have moved on.

I've got a date lined up for next Saturday night and another girl asking to swap numbers now too so I'll see how that goes.Although I still feel a bit of a player chatting to two girls ,online dating is very much a numbers game and the chances are that neither date will come to anything anyway.Like money,chemistry and sparks don't just grow on trees!

I had mentioned I may be playing some live poker to Saturday date girl and got the response,"Are you going to your poker game tomorrow? Do you play quite a lot? Don't you lose quite a lot of money?!". In the world of dating, being passionate about hobbies and interests is meant to be good, but when it comes to poker it's hard to explain that I'm not some gambling degen and that yeah I do actually make a profit from my play.

So next weeks plan is to catch up with Step A ( and offer and her friends a run into town for the Framing Hanley gig on Wed night),go and see my wee nephew and folks again on Thus and to be out on hot dates on Sat and maybe Fri night.

Thanks for reading.Back soon...

On a Draw....

2011-06-11T12:48:00.005+01:00

I consider myself quite a loyal guy and when I got an email from Full Tilt saying they wouldn't be able to pay for the advert they have on my blog I didn't remove it.It's been there a few years and being able to cashout a few $$ every now and then has been very handy.They also paid for a trip to London a few years back when Bullmeister and I won a great package to see the Million Dollar cash game being played live.

The ad and blogger sponsored tourneys were a two way street of course, but I didn't feel like pulling the ad when I got the initial "we can't pay you" email.Theres a lot of speculation about Full Tilts future at the moment and I've taken it down now,mainly because they still haven't paid the withdrawl cashouts to US players and I'd hate to point any new players in the direction of a company where they may lose their hard earned deposits/winnings.

Last night,despite downloading the new Black Ops map pack,I hit the poker tables and watched more of The Shield.After going 0/4 in my first set of $15's, things picked up a bit and I managed to make a small profit.I decided to roll one more before bed and bought into a $100 6 max cash table for $50.The table reminded me of the good old days at Ladbrokes on Fri/Sat nights when drunken fish used to line up to spew off their bankrolls.I ended up winning $124 at that table and went to bed with a smile on my face.I was going to post three of the key hands but although this is essentially a poker blog I doubt anyone really cares that I turned a better two pair v a flopped two pair in one hand or made a fine turn bluff bet with a flush draw to take down another pot.

No dates lined up for this weekend.I'm wondering if I'm maybe taking the wrong approach to it and should be going down the more artistic route like this guy.( I'd love to have read the responses to his work!)

Thanks for reading.Back soon...

Fear

2011-06-07T19:54:00.001+01:00

As well as leading an exciting life playing poker and video games I also like to read books.At the moment I've got the latest Carl Hiassen book, "Star Island" and Christopher Brookmyres "Where the bodies are buried" waiting to be read on my Kindle.For now though I'm just finishing Yann Martel's "The Life of Pi" and I'd rate it as the most stunning ,beautiful book I've ever read.( and not an "Airport" book as ex girlfriend once called Brookmyres writing!) With google around I'm not going to bother reviewing it here, but I'd highly recommend checking it out and I've copied my favourite chapter below.Enjoy....

I must say a word about fear. It is life's only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unerring ease. It begins in your mind, always. One moment you are feeling calm, self-possessed, happy. Then fear, disguised in the garb of mild-mannered doubt, slips into your mind like a spy. Doubt meets disbelief and disbelief tries to push it out. But disbelief is a poorly armed foot soldier. Doubt does away with it with little trouble. You become anxious. Reason comes to do battle for you. You are reassured. Reason is fully equipped with the latest weapons technology. But, to your amazement, despite superior tactics and a number of undeniable victories, reason is laid low. You feel yourself weakening, wavering. Your anxiety becomes dread.

Fear next turns fully to your body, which is already aware that something terribly wrong is going on. Already your lungs have flown away like a bird and your guts have slithered away like a snake. Now your tongue drops dead like an opossum, while your jaw begins to gallop on the spot. Your ears go deaf. Your muscles begin to shiver as if they had malaria and your knees to shake as though they were dancing. Your heart strains too hard, while your sphincter relaxes too much. And so with the rest of your body. Every part of you, in the manner most suited to it, falls apart. Only your eyes work well. They always pay proper attention to fear.

Quickly you make rash decisions. You dismiss your last allies: hope and trust. There, you've defeated yourself. Fear, which is but an impression, has triumphed over you.

The matter is difficult to put into words. For fear, real fear, such as shakes you to your foundation, such as you feel when you are brought face to face with your mortal end, nestles in your memory like a gangrene: it seeks to rot everything, even the words with which to speak of it. So you must fight hard to express it. You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. Because if you don't, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks of fear because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you.

Monthly Stats

2011-06-06T20:13:00.000+01:00

Pokerstars $1594 ( + $524 in bank) = $2118 ( + $1001 for May)
Party $877 ( - $136 for May)

Total Roll $2995 (+ $865 for May)

Obviously pleased to have made a decent profit last month mainly thanks to a couple of decent Mtt runs.I haven't played any Mtt's since those cashes, but hopefully I'll get few under my belt this weekend.

On Friday night I was out with Hot Side Profile Chick.I've added the side profile bit to her previous Hot Chick moniker because she had a gap between her front teeth big enough to park a bus.Now it's great when a women is hanging on my every word, but her habit of repeating and slightly slurring the last few words of my sentences gave me the impression she was probably on drugs and after an hour of polite stilted chat, I gave her some excuse about my dog being left alone and made like a shepherd.( got the flock out of there!)

Perhaps haunted by the strung out chick I didn't sleep much on Friday night despite a good smoke and feeling very tired.Just as I was dropping off it suddenly felt like an explosion had gone off in my head and although there was no pain I was bricking it,thinking I was about to have a stroke or something.For once the internet was quite reassuring and apparently "exploding head syndrome" is not uncommon and is harmless.I'd love to phone in sick to my work and give it as a reason though.....

My lack of sleep on Friday night left me too tired to go and play live poker and not up to focusing on Mtt's.I ended up watching Jackass 3 and playing sit and go's.Yesterday afternoon my Dad came over and we struggled to get the hang of L.A Noire on my PS3.Last night I hit the tables again and watched another few episodes of The Shield.( series 1)

I also spoke to Step A who is down in England staying with her Mum at the moment.It was good to catch up with her and I'm looking forward to taking her for our usual Mcds' and Call of Duty session when she gets back around the 18th.

Back soon...

Six Years and Counting....

2011-06-02T17:35:00.003+01:00

I'm not going to write too much about passing my six year blogging anniversary as I mentioned it in a previous post.I will say that if anyone is to blame for inspiring the mince I've spouted here over the years it's Waffles as the first two blogs I ever read were the now defunct Poker Chronicles ( great blog header that says "Proving that if you put a million monkeys in front of a million computers eventually 65,000 of them will log on to Party") and Waffles incredible lessons on roller coaster bankroll management. Thanks also to the Low Limit Grinder,Jordan at High on Poker and Tripjax for linking me up when I started out and helping ensure I wasn't just talking to myself here!

On the dating front the plan is to go out for a few drinks tomorrow night with a hot looking chick I've exchanged a few short messages with.No real expectations.Just going to see how it goes.

Assuming I'm not hungover, I'll maybe try and get to the casino again on Sat afternoon for the £22 turbo tourney.This time I'll try and leave my donkey ears at home…

I bought the new detective game LA Noire for the PS3 the other day and my Dad is coming over on Sunday to see if we can solve a few cases.I left home at 16 due to family crap caused by him and it took a good few years to rebuild a decent relationship.I see my folks once a week or so and love them to bits but my Dad and I have never really done the going for a pint or sharing a hobby type thing.In fact when I went over to teach him to play poker it was my Mum who caught the bug and now has thousands of low stakes sng's on Stars under her belt!

I'll be back to work on Monday and I'm enjoying it less and less since a new management team started recently.I get allocated four multi-faceted complaints per day to deal with and the only calls our teams take are customers calling back re those complaints.Despite that, our new managers come from a call centre environment and seem determined to implement the same sort of crap they got away with in their previous jobs.Taking away our flexi-time citing non-existent "business needs" and reducing the amount of people that can be on leave at one time just seem to be the start.Can't wait for the "performance management" stuff to start…..

Thanks for reading.Back soon...

Bubbling Bubbles

2011-05-29T13:10:00.005+01:00

Despite not feeling very well yesterday, I hauled my arse down to the Alea Casino in Glasgow just in time for the start of the £22 turbo game.There were 71 starters and I felt quite sharp during the first few levels.As a mainly turbo sit and go player I'm not used to making many laydowns, ( as it's mostly a preflop game) but about midway through the third blind level I raised 1010 from the button and a solid player flat called from the small blind.I led out on a dry 9 8 5 rainbow flop,got flat called again by the sb and when I checked the turn and he led out, I thought through his hand range and folded my overpair to the board.He showed his set of nines and I felt like I'd adapted my play from my usual sng mode.

After that I was dealt a few decent hands and managed to keep chipping up with a few steals when I was the big stack at my table.After just under four hours I'd made the final table and was hoping for a decent cash.There was talk of a 10 way chop ( £148 each)but we decided to play on until the money at least ( top 7 paid).The main reason for the chop talk was that it's a turbo with 15 min blinds and even the bigstacks didn't have much over 10bb.

I felt I'd played well ( and run well) up until that point and then I was dealt AK under the gun.For some reason all my proper thinking about ranges/position/chip stacks went out the window and with the blinds at 4k/8k and a stack of 95k I chose to raise 22k instead of just shoving.I suppose I had it in my head that a just less than 3bb raise from UTG would look very strong, but it was a stupid move.One of the guys keenest on a 10 way chop ( not a shorty) flat called from the blinds and alarm bells should have rung.The flop was a J 6 4 rainbow and again I feel I made the worst play possible by leading out for 30k,leaving myself just under 40k behind.The villain tanked for ages before shoving and suddenly I was left in no mans land.It was my own fault and I was left knowing I had to call off the rest of my stack to try and hit two overs or fold and be left with 5bb.

I chose to fold,he showed 1010 and I could have kicked myself for the way I'd butchered the hand.There were plenty of loose donks around but this was the final table and I was against a guy with a big stack who had been talking about a ten way chop.After my preflop raise mistake even check shoving the flop ( assuming he didn't just shove) would have been a better option.Anyway I folded my big blind to a raise in the next hand and then shoved 7h6h when it folded to me in the small blind only for the big blind to wake up with QQ.Out 9th for a payout of precisely hee haw!

I arrive home in time to watch Barcelona wipe the floor with Man Utd in the Champions League Final.Messi,Iniesta and Xavi and co were an absolute joy to watch and thoroughly deserved their win.After that I fired up some poker tables and played sngs as I watched "The Deer Hunter".There are a ton of classic films I've never seen and this was one of them.I did enjoy it and parts of it were gripping but it did seem to drag on a bit ( the wedding especially) and it certainly won't go down as one of my all time favourites.

On the online dating front I've given up on the idea of trying to be honourable and just emailing/chatting to one woman at a time! The only problem is that I think I need some kind of spreadsheet to remind me what I've said and to who!

Back soon...

Blessed Stump

2011-05-28T13:05:00.002+01:00

I didn't play any poker all week and although I played some Call of Duty online I was feeling somewhat bored and restless, which isn't really like me.I even had a look at flats for sale nearer a train station and a bit closer to my work as the 45-60 minute slow commute through a ton of traffic every day was doing my nut in.

The winds were strong enough earlier in the week to knock over some trees nearby and my neighbour across the landing ( not the one downstairs) has decided that having a large tree stump outside her front door ( and therefore outside mine too) is a great idea.It would be hard to sell up and move on with such a blessed stump sitting outside.She's performed reiki on it apparently and intends to engrave it with the the words "War and Peace".I can see Nacho performing something else on it if it sits there much longer!

Nacho has finished his meds and although he still has a slight cough after eating/drinking I think he's on the mend and has hopefully seen off the worst of the kennel cough.The vets were great last week but I'm a bit annoyed that I thought I had my boy fully up to date with all his jags and they didn't recommend one to prevent the kennel cough.Perhaps there are dozens of vaccinations available and all dogs only tend to get a couple.

I did have a crap week but I was cheered up when I heard from the old friend I mentioned in my post last Saturday.She's really busy at work and not even getting time for a lunch hour, but we're hoping to meet up for a cuppa at some point when things quieten down for her and just exchanging a few emails has reminded me of the laughs we used to have.

I had a pastrami and cheese sandwich for lunch yesterday instead of my usual ham/turkey and cheese combo and I think it must have been past it's best because my stomach was really sore last night and I felt so tired I could barely focus at times.I did play some poker though and won $80 from a few $22's on Party and $73 from a set of six $15's on Stars before nearly going to my bed before 11pm.I couldn't focus on the poker anymore so I switched off the laptop, finally got round to watching the first few episodes of "The Shield", and I'm loving it so far.Dare I say it's even better than "The Wire" and I didn't expect to ever be writing that as I've now watched two series of McNulty and co and intend to buy series 3 soon.

It's nearly 1pm as a write this and the plan is to walk Nacho and head down to the Alea for their 2pm £22 turbo tourney.Tonight's plan is to chill out,maybe play some poker and watch the Champions League Final between Man Utd and Barca.I can't see past a Barca win but I just hope it's a good game as so many Champions league finals have been distinctly average over the years.

Ok,thanks for reading.Back soon...

I've Always Liked Mtt's....

2011-05-22T15:03:00.001+01:00

For the first time ever last night I decided to start around 8pm and register for most of the decent looking $7-$55 Mtt's in the Stars lobby.Of course I've played Mtt's before but not since the days when I was only able to play a couple of tables at a time and even then I doubt I've played over 50 in all the years I've played poker.I did cash for over $4k in the only $55 I've ever played back in '08, but I've never really caught the Mtt bug and given them a real go.Perhaps after last night that will change!

At one point in the evening I'd spent over $200 in buy-ins and the Mtt adventure seemed like a waste of time.Bubbling the final table of a $27 after having my QQ busted by the other big stack calling with KJ was a kick in the balls and crashing out of the $55's to sick beats also had me cursing.

I did manage to build a stack on some of my tables though and eventually made it to the final table of a $7 turbo with 969 starters.I knew that the decent money only started at the final table and after that I just played my game and didn't even check the lobby for payout jumps.The FT played just like a sng and I didn't feel out of my depth at all.When we got heads up we were quite evenly stacked.I would have considered offering to chop but the other guy was a complete donk and I fancied my chances.If my A7 had held v his J10s I would have won.My 22 fell to his KJ in the next hand and I shipped $905 for 2nd place.

With two other smaller cashes it actually felt like I'd made more $$ but the buy-ins all add up and I went to bed just delighted to have had such a good night at the felt.

Even when I was crashing out to two outers earlier in the evening I was still really enjoying the change of pace from playing sit and go games.Having stats and reads on players over hundreds of hands meant it felt like there was far more poker to play than the usual ultra tight/shove a lot sit and go mode which works so well.

The other good news is that I felt the games were really soft compared to the usual $15/$22 sngs I play.Sure I was frustrated at some of the beats, but people calling off huge bets with hands like J5s are only going to be spewing money in the long run.Overall, despite the huge variance, the skill gap between the donks and decent players seemed far bigger than in my usual sng games.

I can also see that several sessions of $200 worth of buy-ins with no cashes must be pretty standard too and I'm certainly not kidding myself that Mtt's are easy money after one decent night.

Too tired to write anymore.Back soon...

The Oil Painting Speaks...

2011-05-21T15:23:00.001+01:00

I caught up with my neighbour tonight and as per my last post I told her I agreed that we'd better off as friends and friends with benefits would be even better.I didn't get a slap and who knows,it may even get me a shag one night.

The online dating thing is quite amusing.My theory is to start messaging women who are well out of my league first of all and work my way down.Knowing my luck, by this time next year I'll be married to the elephant man's sister.

There's a gallery option to view twenty pictures at a time and it's a fair mixed bag!As well as the hot chicks and cute girl next door types, there are women with horsey faces,shiny women with shiny chins and foreheads and ladies with Tefal heads.Not that I'm any great oil painting but some women don't even have faces,just teeth! Then there's the women who claim to be in their 30's when they look like they've seen more than a few frosty mornings,pictures of women with their arms round an ex or on a ski slope to show what an all round action girl they are.

The daft quizzes people post make me smile too.If chemistry was based on answers to questions about likes/dislikes and views on life I doubt I'd have got together with any of my ex's!

I had intended to go and play some poker today, but Nacho started coughing badly last night and I took him to the vets today.It seems he may have something called Kennel Cough.It's almost like he's choking on a fur ball at times but hopefully the antibiotics the vet gave me ( well didn't exactly give at £45 a go!)will do the trick and clear things up.

I did hit the tables last night and played some of the $22's on Party and the new $15's on Stars.The $15's are actually $13.89+ $1.11 and I've already read a post on 2+2 showing a 5% roi grinder will only make 48c per game profit instead of the 80c per game that a 5% roi would have made at the old $15+$1 buy-in level.It's hard enough to grind out decent hobby money and make it worthwhile due to the reduced traffic and tougher games without this development.Maybe it's time to finally give Mtt's a real go.

Just off the phone to my Dad and my folks bumped into a girl I used to go out with in my teens at a local fair today.We were best friends with for years afterwards too until we all kinda fell out over nothing in particular about 12 years ago.She hung about in our group with the s-man,Miami Trout,Mrs Trout and another bloke I haven't seen for years.I asked my sister to pass on my email/blog addy as neither the s-man or I are on the Facebook thing and it would be nice to catch up and say hello.If you do happen to read this W then Lightbulb says hi from the back of the wardrobe somewhere!

The s-man and I are probably the only people in the world still not on Facebook/Twitter, but I like my privacy and would much rather share my thoughts with just some of my friends and all the fine strangers who stop by this space to read my witterings.

It'll be six years worth of pish spouted by May 31st and although it often feels like I'm repeating myself and running out of blogging steam I still enjoy getting things off my chest on these pages.I've also met some amazing people ( and Dudley hehe) via my scribblings here,gained/lost a girlfriend from it and even been on an all expenses paid trip to London to watch a poker show being filmed.( whilst watching out for spaniels eh Bully!)

Now that bloglines has gone and I've never really got the hang of google reader I don't read or comment on as many other blogs as I used to.I do try and keep my blogroll up to date though so if any genuine bloggers would like to swap links just drop me a comment/email and I'll add you to my sidebar thing.

Thanks for reading.Back soon...

Triumphant Losers

2011-05-19T19:36:00.004+01:00

Thanks to Waffles,Rosie,Juice and Dudley Do-Right for the comments on my last post.I took Step A out for a Mcd's on Tuesday night and she came back to my flat to see Nacho and play some Call of Duty afterwards.She was on good form and just being with her cheered me up hugely.It's almost four years since I split up from her Mum and I'm really pleased we still meet up on a regular basis.

I haven't seen my neighbour since Monday and the painful feelings I went through on Monday night and Tuesday have just about gone now.When I do see her I plan on saying that although part of me still thinks we would have made a good couple,being with her didn't feel like the start of a new relationship usually does for me either and that although I put that down to us already knowing each other quite well,maybe she was right that there wasn't enough there to be boyfriend/girlfriend.

Perhaps she won't think I'm as nice as guy as she thinks when I add that we certainly seemed to hit it off on the sexual chemistry front and that if she fancies a more casual/no strings type of fling then I'd be up for that too!

Either way she'll know I'm over any hurt feelings and that should make it easier to get on as friendly neighbours rather than feeling awkward about the situation.( unless I get a slap for the no strings suggestion I suppose!)

I may not have time for that anyway as I've already responded to a couple of emails I've receieved on the dating site I use and having got the neighbour out of my system I'm looking forward to meeting more women and enjoying myself a bit.

Not much else going although now the football season is over I do plan on playing more live poker and will probably head down to the Alea Casino on Saturday afternoon for the £22 turbo tourney.

I also had a laugh this week at Celtic and the front cover of their latest club magazine.Most of the pic below has been photoshopped but they genuinely did include the quote about defeat being a greater triumph than a victory.Here's hoping they are celebrating yet another triumphant 2nd place next season!

Back soon..

Sometimes It Hurts Instead

2011-05-17T17:59:00.002+01:00

As a tight Scotsman I'd better share the bad news with my dear readers that I won't be getting any free cleaning done anytime soon after my neighbour gave me the "I'm probably being an idiot but it's me, not you and lets just be friends" speech last night.She said there is a spark between us and and she enjoys kissing me, but she doesn't think there's enough there to give a relationship a go.

We did go out on Friday night and had a good night at the races before she came up to my place for more snogs and fumbles.The kissing happened as she was leaving though and in truth before that when we were just sitting chatting it really didn't feel like the beginning of something special.I wondered if that was because we already knew each other quite well and there wasn't much left to share in terms of life stories,ambitions and the usual stuff you discover when you start going out with someone.I was probably kidding myself.

I'd like to look at it as a crush/infatuation that didn't live up to my expectations, but whatever I tell myself I can't deny I feel pretty gutted as I really liked her.Last night I rolled up one after another and sat staring out the window listening to my music and trying to resist punching the walls.That was a one off though and won't be repeated.It would be easy to turn inwards and mope about every time I hear her close a door or watching tv downstairs, but I'm not some lovesick puppy and there's no point in letting a relationship that didn't even get off the ground bother me for too long.

I do wonder if it was easier to live with a bit of a fantasy about her in my head instead of asking her out sooner or making a real effort to get out and start dating.At least I gave it a go though and can move on with a clean slate and start taking advantage of my regular "your profile is proving popular today" status on the dating site where I've already re-activated my account.Since being back at work fulltime and cutting out the smokes on school nights I've been a lot happier and felt much better within myself so it's probably as a good a time as any to start going on a few dates.Heck I may even contact my ex fiancee and see if she fancies the back seat of my car again!

On a much cheerier note Rangers won three league titles in a row on Sunday after beating Kilmarnock 5-1 to clinch a world record breaking 54th Championship.Two Pies and I went to Ibrox after the game where it was bedlam as 40,000 fans welcomed the team onto the pitch with the League trophy.It was also the end of an era as our manager Walter Smith left after winning 10 league titles over two spells in charge.We have a new owner now too and hopefully he proves to be the real deal and backs Super Ally next season in the transfer market during the summer.

On another happy note the Play Station Network is finally back online and I'm looking forward to catching up with the s-man and co online and blasting some 12 yr olds away.I'm also looking forward to taking Step A out for a Mcd's tonight.

As I've made a few wasted journeys going to pick Step A up I sent her a wee text today to say "Don't forget I'm coming to pick you up around 6.30" and got back the short to the point reply "I know".I texted back "Just a reminder" and got back "Mkay".Teenagers eh!

Ok,thanks for reading.Back soon....

Bye Bye Stars $16's

2011-05-08T19:40:00.002+01:00

Ahh so typical.Just as I start to get back in the swing of grinding the $16's on Stars they go and change the rake/blinds structure.The new $21.70 games seem to fill very slowly and hopefully Stars will take note of all the dissenting voices on 2+2 and other forums and at least bring the $15+ $1 games back.

Despite never using Sng Wiz or doing too much work reviewing my game I don't find most sngs spots too difficult, but I've never had much faith in my Heads Up game.The sng changes on Stars have also introduced Heads Up Hyper turbos ( only at $5.21 level so far) and I've played 42 so far and lost 3 buy-ins.I quite like the format though and the rematch option that means it's possible to own the same fish over and over until he/she declines is fun too.( as usual I'd just like to run little better than I have so far!)

Last night I was going to go and play some live poker again but was waiting on a man about a dog.That never happened and with the PSN still down and no $16 sngs on Stars I was feeling quite bored.I had just started another $5.21 Heads Up game when my hot neighbour sent me text ( just before 2am) to say she was just back from her Birthday party with her family and did I fancy a wee smoke.I sent a text back to say thanks but I was playing Pedro from Portugal in a $5 poker game and I'd hopefully catch her soon....Ha,of course I sent one back asking her up to my place and spent 5 mins going all in on every hand to finish up as quickly as possible!

She was quite drunk so I necked a few buds to catch up and we ended up chatting till 4am and snogging until just after 7am! ( she was getting picked up just after 8 to go and watch her Mum start a 10k run) We did clear one thing up.I posted that when I asked her out last Monday she said "If you like", but what she actually said was "Sure,no bother", and replied "If you like" when I asked if she wanted to go out for dinner.That minor detail probably doesn't matter to anyone else but me but hey ho!

We were already set to go out this coming Friday to the races at Hamilton and although I wasn't too nervous about it as we've known each other a while, at least last night takes care of the "will we kiss" question! I did have a huge smile on my face when she left this morning but she was very drunk ( that was the reason we only snogged) and I'm still just happy to go with it all and see where it takes us.I've tended to over analyse small details in the past and hopefully I've learned from that.

On the football front Rangers and our rivals both won this weekend meaning we are a point ahead with two games to go.The nerves will be jangling at Ibrox on Tuesday night when we play our last home game of the season before the final round of games next Sunday.

Righty,enjoy the superb talking dog clip below.I'm off to discuss the new series of The Apprentice ( starts next week) with Nacho....

Carlsberg Don't Do Wednesdays....

2011-05-04T23:04:00.000+01:00

My hot neighbour came up to clean my flat on the holiday Monday and afterwards we shared a couple of spliffs and a cup of tea.I was feeling too zonked to say anything but as she was leaving I managed to blurt something out about not wanting to embarrass her and wanting to take her out for dinner.She said something like "If you like" and I said I'd give her a shout later in the week.

To be honest I felt like I'd probably caught her on the hop a bit and I've spent the last couple of days expecting a text to say thanks but no thanks.Well I called in to see her tonight to tell her I hoped I hadn't freaked her out and she said that she was just a bit stoned and surprised on Monday and wasn't freaked out at all.I managed to say a few of the things I'd meant to say on Monday and we've agreed to go out for dinner soon.She goes to college once a week and has a ton of work to hand in soon so we've not set an exact date but hopefully some time next week.I think she's a little wary of us being neighbours ( she stays in the flat below mine)and getting into a relationship and I suppose that was part of the reason I haven't asked her out before now too.We've agreed to go out and go with the flow which sounds good to me.

On the football front Rangers were a point ahead of our rivals before tonight, but they had a game in hand and with 3 points for a win,the title was in their hands.I was out for a curry with my Mum and Dad earlier and having heard our rivals were drawing 1-1 at half-time I expected them to go on and win it comfortably.That was until I got a text from Bully to say it was 3-1 to Inverness! With time left to play I still wasn't overly confident and kept checking livescores.com for updates.It went to 3-2 on 90 mins and Bullys text confirming the final score caused me to yell so loudly someone at the other end of the restaurant shouted across asking what had happened and then danced round his table when I told him the score.There are still three games left to play and although I'm not counting any chickens we just need to win all three to retain our title and win a 54th League Championship.

Step up and play Rangers...

Back soon....

April Stats

2011-05-01T17:20:00.001+01:00

I cashed out $920 from Stars on pokers Black Friday and redeposited $396 just over a week later due to the Scoop reload bonus.That means I still have $524 sitting ring fenced in my bank account as part of my poker bankroll in case I need it.

Pokerstars $593 ( + $524 in bank) = $1117 ( - $6 for month) 287 Sng's played.
Party $1013 ( + $168) 87 games played.

Total $2130 ( + $163 for April)

My Stars roll includes $30 of released bonus money and a few $$ profit from $50nl cash games too.

After an awful month in March and a bad run for most of last month I'm quite pleased at the volume and small profit I achieved in April.I don't remember the last time I played nearly 400 Sng's in a month and I'm not sure if I've ever racked up 71 sngs over 24hrs like I have this weekend.The swings are as swingy as ever though.My Stars roll has been as low as $180 and as high as $650 over the last 30 days.

Away from the poker it was good to catch up with the Big Chap and Jinxy on Wednesday night for the Rangers v Celtc Under 19 Youth Cup Final at Hampden.There were nearly 10000 there to see our rivals win the cup in extra time and it was a decent game to watch.Two Pies and I were also at Motherwell yesterday to watch the Gers thump the 'Well 5-0 in the sun.

One of the advantages of being a single bloke is not having to watch crap Saturday night tv like dancing shows ( on ice or not),X-Factor,Pop Idol etc.As I was finishing a set of six sng's last night I happened to flick over to a repeat of "Britain's Got Talent" and it was just as bad I thought it would be.The producers must be trying to find a new Susan Boyle style audition ( one rigged "ugly duckling that can sing" shocker is more than enough) as some old alcoholic looking bloke called Herbie came on and murdered one of his own songs before some talentless judging woman ( the one that Les Dennis used to pump) suggested ole Herbie sing a song "we would all know".

When he started singing "Have a told you lately that I love you" just slightly more tunefully than his previous home written dirge and the audience and panel went wild for it I switched over.Perhaps the audience don't even care how real it all is and just dream of being part of something that will hopefully get one trillion hits on youtube.Anyway I like more intelligent,challenging television and watched the whole of series nine of "South Park" instead...

The long weekend has been great so far although I slept in and missed the Royal Wedding on Friday.The girls in my team at work had an "order of the day" sheet going round giving the rough times of the service,balcony kiss etc and were not overly amused that I had added "10pm: Royal Porking" to the list.Hopefully Prince Harry will get married soon too and I can have another day off work!

Nacho has been staying with Step A this weekend.Time to go pick him up and get the dinner on.

Back soon..

Keep Believing...

2011-04-26T19:15:00.002+01:00

The Play Station Network is still down ( no Black Ops online Multi-player for me) so I hit the poker tables on Saturday and Sunday,six tabling the $16's on Stars and playing more of the $22's on Party.After another awful run of luck on Sat night at Stars I was wondering how I could possibly write yet another blog post about how badly I've been running recently.Even belief in my own game has been harder to come by as I start to think there will never be an end to the seemingly constant beating being dished out to me on the felt.Farce9 asked recently in the comments about poker blogging tips and one of the hardest to stick to is the no bad beats rule.

We all suffer them and nobody cares about anyone else's bad luck.It's that simple.It becomes tempting to post them because when you harp on about running badly all the time adding the repeated nasty hand histories seems to sooth the poker ego and shout "Look I'm telling the truth,I really am just unlucky at the moment".It's easy to bleat on about the huge swings that are possible over small sample sizes ( even 1000 sngs is considered relatively small ) but it's harder dealing with them.

Thankfully for my bruised poker ego I managed to run a bit better last night and reduced my recent Stars losses to only a few buy-ins.I say "thankfully" but good short-term results over one night are just as meaningless as the same kind of bad run.Perhaps they're not completely meaningless though as it's very hard to just remain focused on volume and resist feeling bad after a losing session or feeling good after winning money.

I did read at the weekend that the greatest snooker player of all time,seven time World Champion,Stephen Hendry,is questioning his own self-belief after crashing out of the World Championships so perhaps there is hope for the rest of us!

Away from the poker I was at Ibrox on Sunday for the final Old Firm game of the season which finished 0-0 despite Rangers being by far the better side for the vast majority of the game.We're now a point ahead of them but they have a game in hand and we have only four games left to play so retaining our title is now out of our own hands.I'm not optimistic but I felt the same way back in '05 when the helicopter ( carrying the league trophy on the final day of the season) famously changed direction so it's not impossible.

I don't write much about the bitter rivalry between Rangers and Celtic fans but it was brought home to me again a few weeks ago when I was taken into an office at work and warned that someone had complained that I had been spending too much time looking a Rangers fans web forum.I get on well with my workmates and this was a total shock to me until I realised I'd obviously got under the skin of one particularly bitter Celtic fan who sits behind me.My boss couldn't officially confirm who it was but said enough without saying anything for me to be 100% certain.

I work too hard to spend much time surfing the net but I stopped looking at the Gers forum to cover my backside after my managers first chat with me and it's just as well because the same guy made the same accusation again last week.I was furious and pointed out his blatant lies and the sectarian reasons behind them.I haven't confronted the tosser because I think I'd end up losing the plot and I'm not throwing a good job away for anyone.Grrrrrrrr!

Thanks for reading.Back soon...

Stars Cashout Received

2011-04-23T19:34:00.002+01:00

The good news is that my Stars cashout made into my bank account and from reading some of the 2+2 threads it looks like all players will get their money without any long delays.The weekly 2+2 pokercast was excellent as usual and listening to the experts interviewed helped set my mind at ease regarding the short to medium term future of companies like Stars and Full Tilt.I'll probably take advantage of Stars deposit bonus and put $200 online but I won't ever be keeping more than a few hundred on there just in case.

I only played three sng's on Stars during the week and managed to double my last $19.77 with a couple of cashes in $6.50 games.If it was weird playing with no Americans at the table it was even stranger playing without my customary herbal assistance! Someone questioned a call I made when we were three handed and instead of my usual silence I had a go back in the chatbox and probably typed more words in a few minutes than I have in six years of playing.( excluding Blogger games obviously)

I did have a laugh during a particularly fishy $6.50 game.People were spewing chips all over the place in the first level of play and someone typed "This is power play,this is what I like" in the chatbox.Aye,keep up the power plays Sunshine!

It's the Easter Holiday weekend and although I had to work on Friday ( we get the Glasgow Fair Monday in July off) I'm off on Monday and my workplace is closed next Friday for the Royal Wedding.The Play Station Network is still down so last night I rolled up and hit the poker tables.I was trying to play within my tiny roll on Stars and the soft competition and a bit of run good saw my Stars roll hit $57 before I got bored,threw in a couple of $16's and finished the night with $28.I'll probably redeposit $200 of the $940 I withdrew last Friday and hit the $16's later tonight.

This afternoon I went to the Alea in Glasgow for some live action and played in the £22 turbo tourney.( 15 min blinds,10k starting stack) There isn't much room for making moves with such a quick structure and when I had to fold AKs to a flop reraise I was nearly out early.In the end I came 24th from 68 starters when my A8 shove was called by Q10 in the big blind and Queen flopped.After that I popped in to see Step A to give her an Easter Egg and I'm now waiting on a nice healthy pizza and chips being delivered!

Tomorrow is the last Old Firm game of the season at Ibrox and I'll be there with Two Pies for the 12.30 kick off.If this was a football blog I could write pages about all the goings on in Scottish football this season but my guess is that most of my readers couldn't care less so I'll save my rants for my friends ears.

I've not seen my hot neighbour ( apart from a few waves at the window) so no update there but I will do something about it soon because if she's not interested I need to move on.Stopping smoking ye old herb during the week and going for long walks every lunchtime has me feeling a lot more motivated to get my arse in gear and I'm not going to be content to sit and play poker/Call of Duty for the rest of my life anymore.

Ok,thanks for reading.Back soon...

Framing Who?

2011-04-19T18:51:00.002+01:00

My Stars cashout hasn't hit my bank account yet but I'm feeling far more confident about it than I was when the brown stuff first hit the online poker fan on Friday evening.I left $16 on the site and played a few wee $6.50's over the weekend.It was weird playing there with no American players at all and although the games should be softer without the US pro-grinders I'm reluctant to re-deposit and play the $16's just in case the site vanishes with my funds.Stars themselves say it's business as usual for players outside the USA but I think I'll let the dust settle a bit before entrusting them with my money again.

With online poker under threat I did feel more of an urge than ever to play the game and 4-6 tabled the $22's on Party over the rest of the weekend.I feel like I've run really badly on Party recently although a quick Sharkscope check shows I'm still a couple of hundred dollars up over a small sample size of less than 200 games.( since Jan)

The sngs I did play on Stars filled quite slowly and the current situation makes me glad I didn't ever take the plunge and try to play fulltime when the company I work for was offering a years salary to leave.I went from being quite keen on the idea a few years ago to realising it was no more than quite a lonely data entry job with no guarantees about the future.

Away from the poker I was at the Gers game on Saturday before watching a disappointing 1-1 draw between Real Madrid and Barcelona.My hot neighbour cleaned the flat when I was out watching my team and when I popped in to pick up my key we ended up having a few smokes and cups of tea.I would have finally asked her out... but this weeks excuse is that I was completely wasted by the time I went back up stairs a few hours later and was in no state to say anything coherent!

I met up with Step A last Thursday and had a fun night.We had our usual Mcd's,went back to walk Nacho and ended up playing Call of Duty and swearing at the tv.( she's nearly 17 so I don't mind a few swear words) She hasn't seen her Mum since January and says she gets so angry sometimes she wants to smash things up.She's worried she's bi-polar but I think it's more likely just deep rooted anger at the situation with her Mum and the lack of contact.I like to think I'm a decent judge of character and can't believe I spend nearly a decade with a woman so selfish and uncaring in her nature.

The good news is that Step A is going to college in September and hopefully that will give her a bit of stability and direction in her life.After I split from the ex Mrs A I was quite bitter about wasting some of my best years with her but thinking about my continued relationship with Step A,the mutt I inherited and the good times we did have together ( mainly the three sunshine holidays per year) has changed that and there are no regrets anymore.

Tonight I'm popping over to see Step A again to give her tickets for a Framing Hanley gig I bought as a reward for getting into college.I should be home in time for the Gers game away at Dundee Utd and I'll probably play some Black Ops or poker after that.

Thanks for reading.Back soon..

Stars,Full Tilt and Absolute Charged by FBI!

2011-04-15T19:47:00.005+01:00

I had a wee look at the NVG section of 2+2 a short while ago and I was stunned to see that the FBI have seized the domain names of Stars,Full Tilt and Absolute poker and filed the charges written about below.

Here's the link to the US Department of Justice press release.I've copied the first part below and highlighted the scary part for anyone with funds on those sites.

PREET BHARARA, the United States Attorney for the
Southern District of New York, and JANICE FEDARCYK, the
Assistant-Director-in-Charge of the New York Field Office of the
Federal Bureau of Investigation ("FBI"), announced the unsealing
of an Indictment today charging eleven defendants, including the
founders of the three largest Internet poker companies doing
business in the United States - PokerStars, Full Tilt Poker, and
Absolute Poker (the "Poker Companies")- with bank fraud, money
laundering, and illegal gambling offenses. The United States
also filed a civil money laundering and in rem forfeiture
complaint (the "Civil Complaint") against the Poker Companies,
their assets, and the assets of several payment processors for
the Poker Companies. In addition, restraining orders were issued
against more than 75 bank accounts utilized by the Poker
Companies and their payment processors, and five Internet domain
names used by the Poker Companies to host their illegal poker
games were seized.

I've cashed out just under $1k from Stars and have no idea if it will go through without any problems or if I'm just being over cautious.Even if this somehow doesn't affect cashouts and the poker playing software client I don't see casual fishy players still being happy to deposit and play online poker as freely as before.Looks like it's a very bad day for online poker players and perhaps a good day to buy shares in Party Poker!

Late Edit:Looks like it's a very sad day for online poker,epecially if you live in the US.No doubt the online game will rise again in the longer term, but that won't help the folk making a living from it just now.

Apologies for not crediting them, but the 2+2 server hamster is working overtime on his wheel and I can't find the orignal quotes! ( nothing to do with having my first smoke of the week...)

Anyway here are some of the posts from the 2+2 thread that made me smile admidst the gloom...

Doyles Room is now 8 by 4.

Phil Galfond: "Anyone want to buy a slide"?

"I wonder if the standard of play will go up in the play money tournaments".

"Does this mean the durrrr challenge is gonna slow down from its current pace?"

Every One's a Winner...

2011-04-12T19:26:00.000+01:00

It looks like I'll be able to quit work and making a living from gambling after the women in my team at work came up with a foolproof way to make money on last Saturdays Grand National.It's the only horse race all year I bet on and instead of the usual sweep stake the clever ladies in my team decided to collect money from everyone and place a bet on every single horse in the race.After I stopped laughing I tried to explain why that wouldn't be a good idea and eventually organised a traditional sweep stake with me drawing a couple three-legged donkeys as usual.

At the weekend I hit the poker tables and six tabled the $16's for most of Friday and Saturday nights.Set of six then roll another.Rinse and repeat! I don't have a sub to Sharkscope anymore but I would guess I played at least 60 games and the cashier shows I finished down nearly $200.I felt like I was running horrendously and checking my exit hands on Pokertracker confirmed that was the case.A post on sng variance from NoahSD's blog that Yorkie Pud linked to helped put it in perspective a bit and it really is just a case of grinding on through it.I've been back on the non herb smoking wagon during the week again so I'm not sure if I'll hit the tables again until next weekend.

On the hot neighbour front I haven't actually grown a set and asked her out yet but we were chatting in the sunshine on Sunday and I did ask if she fancied a barbecue next weekend if the sun is still out.( we have a communal garden at the back of our block of flats) The plan is for me to buy the disposable barby and she will buy in the food.It's hardly a candle lit dinner but it's a start! It may be a slow start because the rain started on Monday and it doesn't look like easing off anytime soon.

Back soon....

The New Van Gogh?

2011-04-06T18:14:00.003+01:00

After posting the worst monthly stats I can remember the other day, I played a wee set of four $22's on Party and won nearly $100 on Sunday evening.I was very tempted to edit the stats on my last post, but there's no point in harping on about sngs being all about volume and then adjusting stats after just four games.

Wildcat mentioned it might be worth giving the 50/50 sngs, ( a normal sit and go where 5 from 10 starters get paid based on the finishing chip stacks) and I did give them a wee go when they were first launched.I played a set of four and cashed in them all but was disappointed that the payout structure meant I didn't make much of a profit.

Not a lot else going on this week.I did give my hot neighbour a lift into Glasgow again last Friday but early in the morning doesn't seem the best time to ask someone out.I don't fancy my chances much anyway for a couple of reasons.She warned me she was having a party a couple of months back ( as good neighbours do) but never asked if I wanted to go.I did also text her to ask if she wanted to come up and watch a film a while back after she had cleaned my flat earlier and said I would understand if she was too zonked.( as we'd shared few incredibly strong joints before she left) She replied to say thanks but she was too cabbaged to move!

Anyway I will get round to it as I've has more winks and emails from women on the dating site and I don't feel like replying until I get this out my system!

Good news on the football front as it looks like Rangers financial woes may be over if the proposed takeover goes ahead.It's dragged on for months now, but apparently talks are at an advanced stage and a deal is nearly done.I still love my football, however I hate the fact that the fans are treated more as customers than supporters these days.I was shouting at my radio the other morning when it was announced that the Radio 5 live phone-in subject was "Can football grounds be made swearing free?" Swearing free? It's not the ballet and if you're an easily offended football "customer" who goes to the game to sit quietly for 90 mins then you can fck right off as far as I'm concerned.The "think of the children" mob can do likewise! It's a passionate game and I don't want to see it sanitised any further.

Not that I'll have any money left to go to the football if I keep having to buy replacement Ipod headphones.Yesterday I managed to slice off another earpiece thingy after getting it caught outside the drivers door of my car yet again.Being a tight git, I've decided if it happens again then one of my ears will just have to go!

Back soon...

Stats Post

2011-04-03T16:38:00.003+01:00

Party $845 ( 73 sngs played) Pokerstars $1122 ( 142 sngs played) Total $1967 ( - $347)

After running well over a tiny sample in Feb,I hit a bad downswing in March ( over another small sample size) and had one of those months where I just couldn't win a flip or get a hand to hold.I've cheated slightly and included this weekends crappy stats in my March stats to hopefully try and give myself a fresh start for the rest of April.I'm actually quite pleased that compared to February's 72 sngs I managed to get 215 in last month as volume is the only way to ride out the massive short-term swings incurred when playing sit and go's.

Most of my downswing has come on Party as I swapped $150 on Stars for $150 on Party with another blogger midway through March.Last night I had another horrible session of six tabling sng's on Party and fired up Stars to play in the wee small hours.I ended up winning $70 at a $50 nl 6 max cash game and then decided to try something new to me and played some Heads up $25nl cash against a German donkey.( took him for a massive $15 before going to bed)

As I was back at work last week I didn't smoke any weed at all between last Saturday night and Friday and felt all the better for it.The only problem was that I didn't play a hand of poker either as I'm used to having a smoke before I play.I'll be sticking to the no weed before work rule again next week and will try and get a few sets of sit and go's in too.Perhaps I'll turn into a raging chatbox monster after every bad beat or maybe not having to skin up between sets will allow me to get more volume in.

Not much else going on really.I've been switching the tv off and listening to music during my poker sessions to try and focus more on the game.I bought Adele's album "21" and it's well worth a listen if you haven't already.Ok,thanks for reading.Back soon...

Burger Off...

2011-03-28T19:23:00.000+01:00

As anyone who read the comments on my last post can probably guess my date with the girl I was engaged to 18 years ago went quite well last Tuesday night.Well apart from the fact I thought I'd ordered a burger with mushrooms,asked the waiter for some Tommy K when it arrived, and then discovered it was some veggy option which consisted of a bloody big bun with a couple of large mushrooms where the burger should have been!

We originally split up after we were looking round a house together near where she stayed. ( about 20 miles from where I lived at the time) I pointed out it was near the motorway and that would make it easier for my friends to visit.I remember her saying something about how "It'll just be you and me" and that being enough to give me second thoughts.I mentioned that over dinner and when she said "No wonder,all your friends at the time were hashhead wasters" I could kind of see her point! Funny how one misinterpreted comment can change the course of two lives.

Anyway we ended up in the pub until it closed and then sat chatting in her car ( she'd given me a run from one part of the town to another) before errrr checking out the back seat of my car! We were both pretty straight with each other though.I'd already told her I really liked my downstairs neighbour and she said she was in an open relationship after her marriage had broken down last year.We're still exchanging text messages, but I'm not sure if we'll ever see each other again.

My hot neighbour did pop up to clean my flat yesterday and brought some amazing homemade sausage rolls with Parmesan cheese.I was so tempted to finally ask her out ( the sausage rolls being the clincher obviously) but I was completely exhausted from Sat night ( when I had just fired up a new set of sngs before realising it was actually 3am and the clocks had gone forward) and I suppose, in truth, I chickened out.Part of me doesn't want to make things awkward if she's not interested and part of me thinks life is too short for regrets and if she's not interested at least I can move on and try and be more enthusiastic about internet dating.

This is still a poker blog ( the "and life" bit gives me the excuse to post all the other crap) and I have played more poker online this month than I have for ages.The fact that I'm getting a little bored of Black Ops probably helps but I've also been enjoying the game more recently despite the robotic nature of sngs.At a guess I'm about even on Stars ( where I've played most of my sngs this month) and down a bit on Party but I'll do a stats post on Thursday to confirm.( I've swapped $150 on Stars for $150 on Party to add to the confusion)

Sng play is quite robotic and obviously from a profits point of view I'd rather play a table full of fish, but the fact that the $16's do have a lot of winning/break even regular players in them does mean more scope for having to adjust my calling/shove ranges depending on the individual villain.As I play more games I've noticed some of them adjusting to my game and ( for example) defending their big blind more because they feel I'm shoving very light from the small blind.( at high blind levels obviously) Not all regs are the same though and I really do need to start taking better notes to help me narrow down their ranges during the crucial late stages of the game.

Ok,that's enough wittering for one post.Back soon...

Fastest Tea in the West....

2011-03-22T13:45:00.000Z

It may be Tuesday, but I'm still getting my voice back after being at Hampden for Rangers fine 2-1 League Cup Final win over our rivals.It was well deserved and hopefully can give the team the lift they need to go on and retain our league title.

On the poker front I've played a few sets of six sngs since my last post and I'm just slightly ahead of breaking even despite Ace rag beating every premium hand when all in.

Away from the poker I had decided to take it easy this week and get back into the online dating thing when I'm back at work.I do still really like my neighbour but I don't even know if she still has a boyfriend ( she hasn't mentioned him for months)and I think it's time to get real and move on.

I suppose I'm lucky enough to get quite a few emails every week from women on the dating site and at the weekend one lady emailed me via the site and gave me her personal email address as her site membership was running out.I emailed her back the answers to her "quiz" and being an honest sort of bloke I replied "no" to the "Do you think people who take recreational drugs are losers?" question.I didn't get a reply and to be honest I'm exchanging emails with another couple of ladies so I wasn't too bothered.I checked my emails yesterday and there's one from quiz girl saying she doesn't drink or smoke but it's spooky because she was engaged to a guy with the same name as me when she was 19 and he was a weed smoker.

I checked and spookily enough I happened to have been engaged at 21 to someone with her first name.She'd sent another email a minute after that first one and that was the OMG moment! She had zoomed in on my pic and realised that we were indeed once nearly married about 20 years ago! She lives about 15 miles from Glasgow and I haven't seen her since we split all those years ago.We've arranged to meet up for a drink tonight to catch up so that should be interesting!

One funny story from that time was when the s-man and the Miami Trout spiked my tea with a load of speed before I went to visit my dear fiancee.I remember my hair almost standing on end as I arrived at her place and chatting to her Dad with a manic enthusiasm for a few hours before thoroughly rogering his daughter!( with the same manic enthusiasm obviously!)

Other than that shenanigans it's been a quiet week so far.I was out with my Mum,Dad and wee nephew yesterday and I'm now taking Step A out for a Mc'ds on Thus night as she can't make it tonight.I've started watching the second series of "The Wire" and although the first episode was a little slow the pace seems to be picking up again.

Thanks for reading.Back soon...

Stinky Jigsaw

2011-03-17T15:15:00.001Z

I made it to the Alea casino in Glasgow just in time to register for the £33+£3+£10 bounty tourney along with 28 other donkeys.The starting stack was 8k in chips and the blinds went up every 45 mins for the first two levels before being reduced to just 20 mins.( which I didn't realise until after the break) In the end it wasn't a very eventful game for me and the action was so slow I actually played some Rush poker on my mobile at the table.

One interesting hand I wasn't involved in occurred when a guy flipped over Aces thinking it was showdown time but there was still one player left to act in the hand.That player bet about 1/2 the pot on the river having seen the other guys Aces and Mr Aces still called the river bet and still looked surprised when he didn't win the hand!

No real characters at my table other than the old guy on my right who was a slightly chubbier,stinky breathed version of Jigsaw ( from the SAW films).Thankfully he didn't last too long!

My tourney ended when a young guy shoved just over 10bb from late position and I called with 1010.We were six handed at that point and I just felt Tens were too strong to fold.I also had it in my mind to call a bit lighter and shove a bit tighter due to the bounties on offer.Sadly he had QQ and there was no miracle two outer for me.I had 200chips left and called with A2s on the next hand only to fall to 1010.Overall I did enjoy the live game experience but the action did seem a little on the slow side.

Rosie mentioned that she was glad I'm enjoying "The Wire" and although that's true it's not always easy to avoid spoilers.I don't generally do Facebook or twitter, but I did follow the links from a certain persons blog to their twitter thing and lets just say I don't expect Omar to be getting a girlfriend anytime soon!

I'm not on Facebook etc partly because I like my privacy, but I did get a shock this week when I got an email from my Dad with the subject header "Questions about LittleAcorn poker blog".Not that there are any great secrets on these pages but I was happy to discover someone sharing my Dads name ( and using the same shortened version of his first name) works for Poker Junkie and my thoughts can remain between me and my millions of readers!

I deleted a comment on my last post from someone promoting a poker cheating site.The "best ways to cheat your friends at poker" section was quite amusing although it does warn that "If you have friends prone to violence you may not want to apply what you read here".Perhaps the warning should also read that you may not want to apply the tips on this site if you have friends you're prone to actually treating as friends!

The "Get your friends wasted" section may have worked for me at home games but as I usually like to get wasted myself I'm not sure it's the optimal ev+ play!I do realise now that Juice has probably read the website advice as one of the tips was to "Make them think that you are a bumbling idiot", although to be fair Juice saved that routine for the pool games which came after the poker as I recall.( just kidding mate)

Online I've only played one set of four sngs since my last post.I managed to take down an 18 player turbo and cash in a 45 player $12 game.Rather than focus on the results of a few games I'm trying to focus on volume and make myself feel happier about playing 16 games and losing the other night than I was only playing four and winning.Easier said than done.

Tonight I'm off to Ibrox for the Europa League 2nd leg against PSV and I'm looking forward to the weekend when I'm hopefully going to catch up with the S-man at some point and I'll also be going to the worlds greatest football derby game on Sunday at Hampden when we take on our rivals in the League Cup final.We finally have a couple of players back from injury but with such a small squad it's going to be a tough couple of games ahead.

Back soon...

Volume Up,Profits...Down!

2011-03-15T18:50:00.000Z

I've managed to ramp up my poker volume a bit since my last post and as a change of pace I've also played a couple of sets of 180 player $12 turbos and some 18 player $16's too.I made two 180 turbo final tables and both times I lost to three outers when the world was at stake.At one point I was running so badly that when I auto-folded KK due to running for a toilet break ( yeah,my poker catheter wasn't plugged in!)I wasn't too upset and sure enough I would have lost to AJ hitting an Ace on the flop.It does feel a bit churlish to be complaining about bad luck and sick beats when all I've watched all week on the news is clips of peoples homes being swept away in Japan.

The weird thing was that although I'm down a couple of hundred on Stars since my last stats post I actually quite enjoyed six tabling the multi-table turbo games and as they stay as full tables until the final table I could probably start 8-10 at a time without finding it hard to keep up.Although I usually pause the tv shows when the blinds get really high, I've also now caught up a bit with the rest of the world and nearly finished watching the first series of "The Wire" and the first five brilliant episodes of series 7 of "Peep Show"."The Wire" has been excellent so far and I've already splashed out on the 2nd series.

Not much else going on.I'm still enjoying my time off work with late nights and long sleep ins and I plan on hitting the casino tomorrow night for some live tourney action.On Thus night I'll be at Ibrox for the return leg against PSV and the Gers are still in with a shout of qualifying after a fine 0-0 result in Eindhoven last week.The footballing highlight for me last week though has to be Barcelona's win over Arsenal.

Barca's pass and move football was an absolute joy to watch and although I've seen some great club sides through the years ( the Ajax and AC Milan teams from the late 80's/early 90's come to mind) this current Barcelona time are the best I've ever seen.When Arsenal had a player wrongly sent off I wanted to see them come back and get some justice from the game but in the end I was willing Barca to hit the net after wave after wave of pass and move football which made it all look so simple.

Ok,thanks for reading.Back soon...

How is that even possible?

2011-03-08T14:11:00.001Z

After nearly a week of feeling well out of sorts I'm finally getting my appetite back and feel able to do more than just gouch out in front of the tv.( When I'm too weak for even poker or Black Ops there's something not right!) I did spend a few $$ trying to qualify for the Sunday Million this week but a couple of lost flips and a nasty river put paid to that dream and it was probably for the best as I'm not sure the Lambo Gallardo on offer for first place would fit into the car space I rent near my workplace...

My cousin Two Pies ( he always ordered two pies when we used to go and watch future superstars like Charlie Adam in the Rangers home reserve games about 10 years ago)was over at the weekend and after watching a painfully poor Rangers team beat St Mirren 1-0 we watched the Liverpool v Man Utd and a couple of other games after that.I didn't really care who won as the only teams in England I have a soft spot for are Chelsea and the mighty Burnley but it was a good game and Liverpool were well worth their 3-1 win.

I do wish there was a website available during the game where a fan from each side playing would clarify exactly what was being sung by the supporters ( regardless of how pc the songs are) as it's hard to make out the words from the tv coverage.In fact the only one I caught really was the Man Utd fans singing their "We're Man Utd,We do what we want" after their late consolation goal and the Liverpool fans replying "You're Man Utd,You'll do what you're told" which was class.No doubt the United fans will probably have the last laugh again this season though.

I'm looking forward to the Barca v Arsenal game tonight and hoping the Gers can somehow ( we're now missing nine first team players due to injury) get a result against PSV in Eindhoven on Thursday evening.

Back to the poker and after a couple of breakeven-ish sets of four sngs at the weekend I crashed out of eight in a row last night ( four on Party,four on Stars) before finishing with a couple of wins,a second and a third in my last set.I was only playing four at a time as I was also watching that touching movie "The Human Centipede" that I'd recorded from the scy-fi channel last week.

When I say touching I mean in the "some warped old Nazi stitches three people together joining them from mouth to anus and somehow gives all three one digestive system" kinda way.When he fed the guy at the front and started shouting "Feeeed her" at him I almost switched off despite the dreadful acting making it not very scary at all.( If I've not explained that well enough just be grateful and move on!)

Back to the poker and the post title came from something someone typed in the chatbox after this lovely beat.Made me laugh anyway.( the preflop action was pretty standard)

If I saw the second hand posted on a forum I'd be wondering why the original poster hadn't just folded preflop or at least just completed the small blind and check/folded after that as trying to play too much poker early in a sit and go is almost always a huge error as getting involved in coin flips or marginal situations simply gives the rest of the table a better chance of cashing.( it spews equity to them as the forum kiddies say)

Anyway I was only four tabling and decided open folding 66 from the small blind after it had been folded round to me was too weak and as 66 isn't easy to play postflop I felt a raise was a better option.The villain called and I bet out on the flop as it was probably one of the best flops possible for my hand with no real straight or flush draws out there and only one overcard.It was also unlikely the villain had the 7 and I'd have been happy to take it down with my large-ish flop bet.

I checked when the King fell on the turn as I thought it was a scare card for both of us.When the villain bet out 240 into a 320 pot on such a ragged rainbow board his line just didn't make much sense if he did have a King and as I'd discounted a seven from his hand I check/called.His Vpip was 24% over 200 hands and on checking today he was 24% over 30 hands at 10/20 and 38% vpip over 26 hands at 15/30 so he was obviously a spewy fish.I check/called his turn and eventual river push and although this time I was ahead, I'm still guilty of overplaying/fancy play syndrome and would like to think I won't get involved again in similar future hands.Still,sometimes it's nice to be right and be results orientated!

Ok,thanks for reading.Back soon...

Monthly Stats

2011-03-03T19:31:00.002Z

Party $1079 ( +$207) 12 sngs ,Stars $1235 ( - $14) 60 sngs

Total $2314 ( + $193)

I do feel like a bit of a fraud doing a stats post when I only played 72 sngs throughout the whole of Feb.It's almost funny that it's taken me until the last few months to be able to six table with no problems and yet my motivation to hit the felt isn't anywhere near as strong as it used to be.Running way over expectation is the only way to make any money with such low volume and I think the reality of variance hit last year when I hit a long breakeven spell and lost my desire to keep grinding after a hard day at work.I was reading about a 9 man STT grinder who played 2000 games for a $150 profit and it's not very inspiring!

Away from the poker I've been ill this week with a stomach bug and have only eaten half a piece of toast over the last two days.At first I thought it was the weed as I was completely smoke free over Sunday and Monday and only had a few late on Tues night as I'd booked Wed off work.It felt like my throat/stomach were burning and I didn't sleep at all on Tues night and couldn't even keep down a cup of tea yesterday.After watching Rangers lose to our rivals ( nice friendly game with 3 sendings off,a ton of bookings and our assistant manager and their coach squaring up at the end) I kicked Two Pies out and went straight to bed.( only to lie awake all night again)

Still,it's not all bad news as I did receive an email from a wonderfully named Nigerian called "Jah Jah Bongo" promising me a share of millions! A weed smoking Star Wars fan maybe?

When I haven't been sleeping or puking today I've been trying to download the new Black Ops map pack with no success.I'll probably watch "10 O'Clock Live " later on Ch4, although despite it's clever humour it's just not laugh out loud funny which is a shame as I like Charlie Brooker and David Mitchell is great in Peep Show.

Righty,time to try and muster up enough energy to take Nacho out.Back soon...

Peeing Round the Bowl...

2011-02-25T17:56:00.000Z

I've had another fairly uneventful week off work this week although I am just getting over a chest infection which floored me a bit for a few days and meant I couldn't take my wee nephew out as he has cystic fibrosis and was just getting over a cold too.I did take Step A for a Mc'ds though and tried to encourage her to keep up the job hunt.( inbetween dodging the spitballs of paper she was firing from her drinks straw!)

Two Pies and I were at the Piggery last Sunday to watch the Gers pathetic 3-0 defeat to our rivals which leaves us eight points behind them in the league with two games ( 3 points for a win) in hand.Last night was a far better performance as we scored in the last minute to qualify for the last 16 of the Europa Cup.If by some miracle we make the final again I hope to get a cheaper ticket than the £580 I paid for a ticket to the 2008 final in Manchester!

On the poker front my Party roll is now back over $1k which isn't bad considering it was $90 after a cashout last May/June time.I reckon I should have enough spare cash to pay for things like my council tax,Rangers season ticket and car insurance without having to touch my poker bankroll which is just as well as I really have no motivation to start grinding below the $22 sng level on Party or the $16's on Stars.I didn't play any live poker over the last couple of weeks and intend to get back to the casino after next week ( when I'm off work for a further three weeks).

The Alea in Glasgow run tourneys every night and it's funny how my mind works as I've only ever played in the £22 turbos as the rest seemed a bit expensive.Why do I feel that way about a £54 deepstack casino tourney when I'm happy to play six tables of $22's whilst watching tv and rolling a fat one? Hmmmm!

I've just done one of those Myers-Briggs personality tests and apparently I'm an INTJ ( Introverted Intuitive Thinking Judging) type which I'm pretty sure is a different result from the last one I did a few years ago.Still, I do like to pee round the toilet bowl to keep the noise down so I suppose the introverted bit could be right!

Ok,thanks for reading.Back soon...

Reg Infested $16's...

2011-02-18T15:49:00.003Z

Going to blogger.com and staring a blank page wondering if anything I've done over the last week is really worth writing about seems to be a more and more frequent occurrence recently.On the poker front I've been four tabling the $16's on Stars over the last week and have just about broken even over a meaningless sample size.The Party $22's have been too slow to fill after about 11pm but the Stars single table games are full of top drawer regulars like Sippin_criss,Abarone68,Premier etc.

I really should give the 45/180 player turbo's a proper shot but thanks to years of mindless net surfing I have the concentration span of a flea and can't be bothered devoting more than about 45 mins to a poker game.I'm still a member of Floattheturn ( sng training site) and have actually made the effort to watch a few vids this month as they definitely help ensure I'm not missing any push spots late in sng's.

Away from the poker I've been playing a ton of Black Ops as usual,going to Ibrox to see Rangers beat Motherwell 6-0 and draw 1-1 with Sporting Lisbon and have taken my wee nephew out too.This weekend I'll be in the Gers end at the Piggery for the Old Firm league game ( look out for me giving you a cheery one fingered salute if you're in the home end Monkey !) and next week I'm taking my wee nephew out again,going up to visit the Big Chap (who stays feckin' miles away) and taking Step A out for a Mcd's on Tues.

The S-man and I finally caught up with the rest of the world the other week and watched "The Hangover" and it's definitely up there as one of the funniest films I've ever seen.I've lent it to my Mum and Dad although they only watched half of one episode of "An Idiot Abroad" and didn't like it so I'm not sure it'll be up their street.( after all they think Michael McIntyre is hilarious!) I also watched the Justin Lee Collins special last week where he visited Steven Seagal and hung about with the movie legend.I was half expecting it to be dubbed but after watching for a short time Lee Collins strong accent became easier to understand!

Not much else going on really.Hoping to see a man ( well a woman actually!) about a dog later.I may as well enjoy a smoke while I'm off work as I'll be back full time at work soon enough and my herbal smoking days will be just about numbered.My work is stressful enough with a clear head and although I may have a wee puff on Sundays I'll be sticking to my no herb rule before work the rest of the time.

Right,for someone with nothing to say I think I've slavered on enough!Back soon....

Friday Update...

2011-02-11T19:16:00.000Z

I was going to write a post moaning about bad beats and how I've been rogered more times than a police radio at the virtual felt over the last week but I've managed to turn things round a bit and have made a little profit since my last post.It's also just stupid to write about poker being a long-term game and then start whining about short-term results.I've deleted a few of the runner runner seemingly improbable hands I was going to post as there's nothing more boring than reading about bad beats on a poker blog.

I did gain a wee shark next to my Stars name on Sharkscope before a few early exits in the $16's saw it swim off into the sunset.The $16 single table sng's do seem to be full of regs but when they're stacking off with 77 during level 1 and shoving over early position raises with 87s then perhaps the games aren't as tough as they seem.

I've stayed off the herbs again this week and when I do that my urge to play poker seems to waiver as smoking helps me brush off the beats and focus on my game.I rejected the chance to reduce my hours at work because they couldn't guarantee I'd ever be able to increase them again and that could affect future mortgage applications etc.I'm also off for the next two weeks,back for a week and then off for three more before going back to my old fulltime hours so I can't complain too much.

Last Sunday I enjoyed the worlds greatest sporting event.Oh and after the Old Firm game I also stayed up late and watched a bit of the Superbowl too! The Old Firm game was a letdown after we went 2-1 up,they had a man sent off and we then sat back in the second half, allowing them to equalise and take the cup game to a replay.For the first time ever we play them seven times in a season and I've a ticket for the league game at the Piggery,the League Cup final next month as well as the last league home game at Ibrox.

Over the last week I've also been out on a few more dates with the same woman.We went for dinner a couple of times and to the cinema to see the 3D film "Sanctum".We were due to go for dinner tonight but I sent her a text earlier today suggesting we leave things for now.She is nice enough but she wasn't much of a kisser and I just didn't feel any real chemistry between us.I also still really like the local girl I've mentioned before and although I gave her a run into town this morning and said she was having a quiet weekend I've no idea if she's still with her boyfriend or even the slightest bit interested in an old fart like me! I'll probably just try and enjoy my upcoming annual leave and throw myself back into the online dating thing when I go back to work.

Ok,just time to say that I've finally finished reading Dr Pauly's "Lost Vegas" book on my Kindle and I'd highly recommend it to anyone looking for a good read.The Doc paints a great picture with his words and there were plenty of genuine laugh out loud moments too.And when I say genuine I mean it and not in that fake forum speak crappy "I just spat my coffee out over my screen" way!

As I write this I've not smoked anything since Tuesday night and I only had one cig on Monday too.( hence the grumpy post probably!) I'm off work for two weeks from today so time to take Nacho out and skin up....

Monthly Stats

2011-02-02T16:18:00.000Z

Party $872 ( + $440) Pokerstars $1249 ( + $36) Total $2121. January Profit = $476.

I suppose I should be quite pleased to have made a profit last month considering I only played 105 Sngs on Party.I had to double check my Pokertracker as I was sure I'd played at least a couple of hundred, but I did have a lot of short sessions where I banked a profit after a set or two and went and played Black Ops instead!Moving back up to the $22's has gone well so far over a tiny sample size although Party doesn't always get the traffic outside peak hours to allow the games to load quickly when six tabling.

Away from the poker I enjoyed a fine meal out last night at a local Italian place with the girl I met up with last week.We're going out again to the Cinema this Sunday.

I'm still of work on Wednesdays and my new manager is going to ask HR again about changing my contract to four days per week for the next six months.It would probably be easier if I asked for a permanent reduction in hours but it may not be so easy to increase them again if my circumstances change and I need a higher monthly income again.

Ok,thanks for reading.Back soon.

Happy Daze

2011-01-29T20:31:00.000Z

Thanks to Josie for the comment on my last post.The answer is that I've been completely smoke free ( no cigs or weed) from Tues night until Fri morning for the last couple of weeks.

That certainly wasn't the case last night as I rolled a couple up and hit the virtual felt.I only scraped one third place finish from my first set of four $22's but managed a couple of wins and a second place from my next set for a decent profit.I even managed to win a few buy-ins over 80 hands of Rush poker before hitting the sack just before 3am.As ever, after a winning night there doesn't seem much to say about it!I did find the hand below quite amusing and was tempted to type "Bot gone wrong?" in the chat box as I've no idea what the big blind could have been thinking when he called here...

I didn't even get annoyed at myself for banking a win and only playing eight sng's.Running well over a tiny sample size really shouldn't matter in the same way as losing a load of buy-ins over a similar sample is just the nature of the game.I suppose as humans we're always looking for affirmation that we're doing the right thing and the hard part about poker is that playing well is never any guarantee of short-term success.

I've not heard from my date yet this weekend.A girl at work informed me that apparently there are a whole host of (unknown to me ) rules about waiting twenty minutes before replying to text messages etc.My date also sent the first text the other night after we'd met saying she had enjoyed my company.My reply saying I had a great time and telling her to give me a shout if she fancied going out again should have seen me dropped like a hot potato according to my colleague.Jeez,play it cool,show more interest blah blah!Ahh well,I'll see how it goes!

A couple of snippets from the papers made me laugh this week.Scottish Socialist Rosie Kane talking about the lying swinger and former MSP Tommy Sheridan in a Guardian interview said, "We would have been behind him, helping him become first minister, and younger socialists would have paid the price".Do me a favour love.( to use another topical quote) Even at his political peak the bold Tommy was ( thankfully) a million miles from achieving that particular ambition.

Of course The Sun are loving Sheridan's downfall and even wrote about his new cellmate at Barlinnie Prison.I always laugh when they quote a "source" or better still "an onlooker" as the quote that follows has almost certainly been written by The Sun journo to enhance the story.

Apparently Sheridan has been locked up with a serial shoplifter called Dodds and a source said "Every one was wondering if they would get locked up with Tommy.But lo and behold it was Dodds,the only one who is not at all interested in politics". Aye,because the rest of the prisoners in Bar-L ( one of Scotland's most notorious prisons) do nothing but debate the latest early day motions from the House of Commons and are always chatting about the UK's deficit reduction strategy and what Cameron really means by the "Big Society".

Righty,good luck to Andy Murray in the Aussie Open final tomorrow morning.I'd love to see him become Britains first Grand Slam winner since Fred Perry but not enough to get up at 8.30 am in the morning to watch it! It will be the first thing I check when I do get up though!

Back soon....

You Can't Always Get What You Want....

2011-01-28T11:19:00.000Z

Not much poker to report on this week as I've not had much time to hit the virtual felt.I met up with Step A on Tuesday evening for a Mc'ds and spent most of the time trying to talk sense into her without sounding like a lecturing old man! I didn't mention that I like a smoke myself but nearly gave it away when she said skins were made in Bristol and I said I didn't know that's where the Rizzla factory was located.Errrr she meant the tv show..

I was also arranging my date for last night and Step A was laughing so hard at my slow texting ( prodding the keypad on my phone with my index finger) that I ended up dictating my text and the wee one typed it.She's also got an Android phone and I've now downloaded the free virtual Zippo lighter app which is so cool the flame even flickers when I blow on it!

I was off work on Wednesday when the S-man contacted me with the tragic news that his Playstation had suffered from the yellow light of death.I'm no expert but I reckon his machine was just politely letting him know that he's been wasting his time trying to get as good at Call of Duty games as the mighty GusterBonad!( one of my PS3 names) Still,I was pleased to see he's struck a deal with his Mrs and will be back online soon.

After at least six months since my last date I've finally made a bit more of an effort over the last couple of weeks.As the classic Stones song goes "You can't always get what you want,but sometimes you get what you need" and after months of fancying a local girl and not doing anything about it ( I'm pretty sure she still has a boyfriend and my flirting/reading the signs skills are rusty as hell anyway) I met a hot chick for a few drinks last night.I was a lot more relaxed and laidback than I've been on previous dates and we seemed to hit it off quite well.She sent me a text saying she enjoyed my company and we're texting each other again over the weekend to arrange a second date.

I've no other plans for the weekend other than going to the league cup semi-final on Sunday with my cousin Two Pies.I was quite pleased with myself for not smoking anything at all again this week between Tuesday night and this morning.( had a cig on the way to work after giving my neighbour a lift into town).Two Pies was over on Wed night for the Gers game and although occasions like that give me an easy excuse to spark up,I stuck to the nicotine gum and felt all the better for it the next day.

Ok,thanks for reading and good luck to Andy Murray in his Aussie open semi-final.I know he's not everyones cup of tea but I like him and hopefully he can make the final and win his first Grand Slam event.C'mon Andy!

Back soon...

Speaking Americano

2011-01-22T12:32:00.009Z

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker! The WBCOOP is a free online Poker tournament open to all Bloggers, so register on WBCOOP to play.

Registration code: XXXXXX 549586

I went to bed happy but annoyed at myself for feeling that way after a planned night of poker playing turned into just one set of four sng's and some Rush poker on Full Tilt.I did take a 1st and a 2nd from the four sng's, but it's about volume and I'll need to ramp it up if I want to make a decent profit this month.( or hope my short-term run good continues)

Here's a wee hand from the $25 nl Rush game.I had a bad feeling when the money went in but didn't realise I was drawing quite so thin!

Away from the poker I was quite pleased with myself for staying smoke free between Tuesday night and Friday morning.( still using the nicotine gum though) It's quite scary to think that's the longest break my lungs have had since I was about 17! I do intend enjoying some fine herbs tonight whilst watching "The Big Lebowski" which I picked up for a couple of quid the other day.

I was less pleased with my new mobile phone this week after spending most of Tuesday night trying to get a speech to text app to work.( google voice actions)The smug wee smart arse in the demo video made it look so easy but apparently there is some issue with it working properly with the HTC Desire.Not that I have a strong accent but I even faked an American one to see if that was the problem!Hmm I can tell y'all I ended up feeling like a right tit and giving up as all my phone wanted to do was search the web.

Plans for the coming week? Well the girl downstairs is coming up tomorrow to clean the flat,I'm hoping to finally catch up with Step A on Tuesday evening,it's the dentists for a couple of fillings on Wednesday before watching Rangers play Hibs later that night.I've also got plans for a hot date later in the week at some point, although knowing my luck the only hot part will be the coffee/tea! The girl I mentioned I liked in a recent post still has a boyfriend as far as I know so I think it's time to forget that and make more of an effort in other directions.

I'm off to roll one up in a minute.Hopefully it'll brighten my mood after I watched Rangers get beaten 1-0 by Hearts in a game we should have won by halftime.On the subject of football I read an interesting football fact today.There are currently more English Premier League managers from my hometown of Glasgow - Alex McLeish, Sir Alex Ferguson, David Moyes, Owen Coyle, Kenny Dalglish and Steve Kean - than from England - Ian Holloway, Alan Pardew, Steve Bruce and Harry Redknapp.

Righty,thanks for reading.Back soon...

Beep Beep Grrrrrr!

2011-01-18T17:18:00.001Z

It was good to catch up with old Dudley the senile old bassa for some live poker last week at the Alea Casino in Glasgow.We both played in the £22 turbo tourney and sadly neither of us cashed.In truth it was quite an uneventful game for me.I doubled with AA V KK quite early and then ran AJ ( button) into AK ( Big Blind) a few hours later which crippled my stack.Losing with 22 v JJ sent me to the rail.The blinds rise every 15 mins due to the turbo format and I quite fancy trying out one of the deeper stacked slower games sometime soon.( the problem is that they start at 8.30pm and finish too late when I'm working the next day)

I've still been playing more Black Ops ( k/d now 1.81!)than poker over the last week but at least I've managed to fit in a few sets of six $22's and won some dosh.Moving back up to the $22's has been great and I do feel far more motivated to play and focus harder when playing them instead of the $11's.

The $22's are on Party and I must have ticked a box somewhere as they email me the complete hand history of every game afterwards.This would be fine but my HTC Desire beeps whenever I receive an email and hearing that damn beep every time I crash out to a bad beat is doing my head in! The phone itself is a huge improvement on my old one although I don't mind admitting I was stupid enough to try and "right click" using my pinky ( little finger) when I wanted to copy/paste something the other day!

Not much else going on really.I'm off to watch the Gers tonight and I'm hoping to catch up with Step A again this week for a McD's.For my own records I also paid £244 to get new front brake pads/discs and a service.( 35350 miles)

Oh and I also splashed out just over £50 on a new variable temperature kettle which means I don't need to boil water and wait for it to cool down before making my favourite white/green teas.Ahh life doesn't get more exciting than that!

Ok,thanks for reading.Back soon....

Badda-Beep, Badda-Boop

2011-01-10T23:10:00.003Z

After an extended Xmas break that's me back at work today.At least I still have plenty of leave days left to take before the end of March I suppose.On the poker front I'm still playing sets of six sng's on Party and some NL/PLO cash games on Stars.My Party rule is that whenever my roll there is over $440 ( 20 buy-ins at $22) I move back up to the $22's from the $11's.Even the $11's are full of regulars although most of them are still making lots of push/fold errors that can be exploited.I did hit $480 at one point, but a couple of cashless $22's sent me back down to slum it at the $11's.After a decent session last night I've got about $460 and will mix in a couple of $22's in my next set.

I also played a couple of $22 Mtt's on Bwin and lost a flip in one ( QQ V AK and the river brought a King) and got it in with 910 on a 9 10 7 board quite early on in the other.The original raiser showed 77 and that was that.

My new HTC Desire mobile arrived at the weekend and the good news is that I've already managed to play some Rush poker on it! In fact it works beautifully on the 3.7" screen and when I find out how to listen to my two favourite podcasts on it ( 2+2 Pokercast,Heart and Hand-The Rangers podcast) I'll be sorted! Far more importantly I've downloaded an "Air horn" app and one called "Dog Teaser" which is great for keeping Nacho on his toes.

Of course when you get a new mobile number it's wise to let everyone on your old phones contact list know the new number.As I've now learned it's always worth checking the old phone for messages in case some senile old bassa hasn't been paying attention...Hope to catch you later in the week mate!

Hopefully I'll be able to upload a few more pics using my new phone.Here's one of Nacho listening to one of my bad beat stories...

When it comes to watching the latest hot TV series ( usually imported from the US)I lag way behind.I've still not seen "The Wire" despite having the first series on DVD and apart from a few recent shows like "The Inbetweeners" and "Peep Show" I spend too much time playing video games or poker to concentrate on getting into a new tv show.There are also are a load of classic movies I've not seen and I managed to catch up with the rest of the world over the weekend and finally got round to seeing "The Godfather".What a stonkingly fine movie! The plan is to watch Part 2 tomorrow night.

Back soon if I'm not swimming with the fishies..

Happy New Ears

2011-01-04T16:58:00.000Z

No,the post title is not a mistake.I really do need a new set of ears.I was driving home from work just before the Xmas break when I heard a rattling sound coming from the car.Having just shelled out £568 for a new ABS unit I was dreading discovering some expensive new problem, however when I opened and closed the drivers door a few miles later the rattle thankfully stopped.Arriving home,I was going to take Nacho out and reached into my pocket to sort my Ipod out.Hmmm no headphones.I traced my steps back to the car and there was a piece of severed headset wire lying on the ground.They had obviously been dangling outside the car since I'd stopped for petrol earlier.

I replaced them with a set of similar JVC ones but although they looked like the original Ipod ones,they kept falling out.I splashed out £15 ( well £15 seems like splashing out after already paying £8 for the JVC ones) for a set which are supposed to fit into my ears ( bud headphones) and they keep falling out too.Grrrrr!

On the poker front I watched a bit of the Superstar Showdown on Stars between Tony G and Isildur1.There were a few decent sized pots but after watching Isildurs battles with Durr on Full Tilt in Dec '09 it seemed a bit small beer in comparison.The "On your bike Tony" and "Played it like a set" comments from the rail got a bit boring after a while too.I think the games Isildur plays against qualifiers at $5-$10nl will be more interesting viewing.

I played a few sets of four sng's last night and watched the Chris Morris film "4 Lions" at the same time.I loved his "Brass Eye" series a few years back ( search for "Brass Eye Cake" on youtube if you've not seen it)and this film about 4 thick would be suicide bombers was genuinely laugh out loud funny at times. It was also quite clever too as the main characters were easy to like and near the end I caught myself hoping they wouldn't get arrested and then realising the consequences if they didn't.

Ok,thanks for reading.Back soon...

Stats

2010-12-30T15:23:00.004Z

I had a great Xmas,spending most of the time with family and friends and of course playing a load more Black Ops and poker.I was all ready to post earlier in the week with a wee happy tale of short-term run good, but I'm glad I didn't as I'd probably blame that post for the run bad which followed! I was down to $50 on Full Tilt,made a quick few dollars at the Rush tables and fired up a couple of $24,45 player games.I crashed quickly out of the first one when my Jacks were rivered and managed to take 2nd place in the other for a nice $210 score.Being the sensible kind of player I stepped down to $11 sng's.... and ran like crap losing most of my winnings over a couple of nights.AA V KK with a rivered King at the Rush tables didn't help either.

Anyway here's a quick stats update for my records.Back on Oct 12th I posted that I had $865 on Stars and $134 on Party.I now have $1213 on Stars and $432 on Party for a total of $1645 and a profit of $646 over the last 2 1/2 months.I'll update again at the end of January and as usual I won't be including any money on sites other than Stars and Party.( got a few $$ left on FT and just over $150 on Bwin)

Away from the poker my plans for 2011 are to try and eat more healthily,exercise more and get myself a girlfriend.On the latter front I really do need to make more of an effort.I suppose I'm a bit of a romantic and also probably a bit lazy in truth.Sad as it sounds I don't fancy compromising on my lifestyle of freedom,poker and video games unless I meet someone really special.

Perhaps that's a little selfish and maybe after living on my own for 17 out of the last 20 years I'm too set in my ways to try and settle down again.I mentioned being a romantic and what I mean by that is that instead of treating a relationship quite casually and just seeing where it takes me I tend to let my feelings get ahead of me and jump in feet ( or is it heart!) first.I suppose I'm quite a practical person and if I don't see it going anywhere then I don't see the point.( other than the obvious benefits!)

Ok,thanks for reading and have a great Hogmany and 2011.....

Merry Xmas

2010-12-22T17:20:00.000Z

I mentioned I was exhausted on Monday after enjoying a smoke on Sunday night.Well I'm pleased to report that despite having lots of ready made excuses ( it's Xmas week etc) I had no inclination at all to roll one up on Monday night.People like to compare weed to alcohol, but I can honestly say if I enjoyed a drink as much as I like a smoke I'd probably be dead or living out of a cardboard box by now!

Last night I took Step A out for a Mc'ds although it felt like I took all her friends out too as she was chatting on MSN via her mobile for much of the time! ( when she wasn't testing my car radio speakers by ramping up the volume) As usual I asked if she had a boyfriend yet and for the first time since she was about 13 she said she did.I don't have the quietest voice in the world and when I asked again to double check a few people also in the queue congratulated her too! ( cue one bright red teenager!) Her latest favourite band are called "Angerfist" and although they're a bit hardcore for me ( and I like my dance music) they're a big improvement on the those tuneless wonders "Dot Dot Curve"!

When I arrived home the temperature gauge was showing -9.5c and I turned the heating up and settled down to play a few games of Black Ops and a bit of poker.I only played a set of four sng's and managed to win two of them.If only poker was always like that! I played a little PLO and one tabled a NL cash game for a while before hitting the sack.

I'm just about ready for Xmas and have spent most of my cash on stuff for my wee nephew.( I just need to wrap it all now) Nacho and I are going to my Mum and Dads on Xmas day and I'm looking forward to it.My Dad retires on Xmas Eve ( he hit 65 earlier in the month) and my Mum,sister and I are going into his work just before he clocks off on Friday to surprise him.He'll probably drive my Mum nuts being at home all day ( interrupting her poker sessions!)although he does have a beer making kit and a metal detector to keep him busy!

Ok,thanks for reading and have a great Christmas!

I Win an Old Firm Game...

2010-12-20T18:26:00.003Z

Well I did break my "no smoking before a work day" rule yesterday and despite a late ( 9.30) start at work this morning I still feel completely exhausted.Still,it's a decent reminder as to why I cut back in the first place I suppose!

I did enjoy my poker last night.First up I played in a Rangers v Celtc tourney organised by a couple of football forums.There were 32 starters and after being card dead through the first few levels I managed to win a few hands and made the final table.Up until then it had been reasonably civil ( considering the bitter rivalry that exists) and there were a few of the usual pokery gg's and nh's being thrown around.

The final table chat degenerated into a lot of vile disgusting crap being spewed which was a shame, but rather than take offence I actually just felt quite sad that grown men can be so bitter and twisted.I've learned not to feed the trolls when it comes to chatbox nonsense and simply rolled up another one,tuned out the nonsense and focused on winning the game.

The Bloggerment started at 9pm, but my heart wasn't really in it and I donked off my chips early doors with AK on an Ace high board.( I shoved the turn when there wasn't a hand left that I could actually beat!)

It was good to see so many familiar faces at the Bloggerment tables and I did have a laugh when I saw Rosie's location as "chat banned".Some things never change eh! I was too focused on the Gers game to chat much although I did log on to yahoo IM straight after I crashed out and no one was on!

Thankfully the last Celtc fan in that game went out on the bubble,the chatbox calmed down a bit after that and I managed to take it down for a nice profit on my $5 entry fee.( $64 for 1st)

I caught up on The Apprentice final and ended up going to bed far too late.Back soon...

Cashed in Live Game + Bloggerment Returns

2010-12-18T20:58:00.005Z

Yep,it's back this Sunday on Stars.Open to all bloggers,readers and Raise the River forum members + lurkers!

Despite the connection issues I've still been playing a ton of Black Ops this week although I did hit the virtual felt last night for a set of four sng's and managed to come 1st,2nd,3rd and 4th for a decent profit.

The Rangers home game was postponed due to burst pipes at the stadium so after a long lie today, I decided to go and play in the £22 Turbo tourney at the Alea Casino in Glasgow.There were 70 starters for the 3pm game and with 15 minute blind levels and 10k chips I didn't expect to be there for very long.As it turned out I managed to chip up nicely until I had my Kings cracked by AK just before the break at the end of level 6.

I hung in there when play resumed and winning a few key flips eventually saw me make the final table with a just above average stack of 91k.The top 7 paid and it seemed the shorties were doubling up every time they shoved.I had a Billy Mitchell lookalike on my right and an old guy with shaky hands who looked like he could have been Doyles Grandad on my left.

The old boy was a bit of a calling station and when it folded round to me in the small blind I probably made a mistake by just flat calling with Jh8h.( I had under 10 big blinds and should have shoved)The flop came Ace high with two diamonds and when I led out ( hoping he would fold if he didn't have an Ace), he called and I slowed down after the 8d came on the turn as I was sure he either had an Ace or was on a flush draw.When another diamond fell on the river making four on the board I was tempted to bluff at it as it was more likely he had an Ace and would be scared of the flush.I only had about 35k behind though and looking at his chipstack I reckoned he would call my shove and I checked behind.He showed AJ ( no diamonds) to take the pot and that made me glad I didn't shove preflop!

We lost the 9th and 10th place and the table agreed a £40 save for the 8th placed finisher so at least I knew I was at least getting my money back.I wasn't playing to min cash though and shoved Q8 and 96 sooted without contest to try and maintain some fold equity.

We lost one more and the old boy crashed out in 7th when his JJ fell to QQ.With the blinds getting crazy high,I shoved with K8 sooted when it folded to me on the button.The shortstacked big blind called with A8 and I was lucky enough to bink the King on the turn to knock him out.With 5 of us left ( £100 for 5th ,£470 for first) my luck ran out when I called a shove from Billy Mitchell and my tens were beaten by his A2.A few hands later when I shoved QK from utg ( first to act) he called with J10,hit his Jack on the turn and I hit road with £100 in an envelope for my 5th place finish.

Despite getting so close and losing out with the best hands at the end I left with a smile on my face.I'd got lucky with the K8 V A8 hand,come back from the KK V AK hand and won a few flips to get to the final table so there's no point in playing the "what if" game.

Away from the poker I enjoyed "The Apprentice" interview stage on Wednesday although I was disappointed to see Stuart Baggs finally bite the dust as he was great tv,calling himself "The Brand" and coming out with classics like "Everything I touch turns to sold" and "I'm not a one trick pony,I'm not a ten trick pony,I'm a whole field of ponies and they're literally all running towards this job".Liz was my favourite to win before she was fired last week and I reckon Stella deserves to win the final showdown.

I've been feeling quite fresh this week as I only had a smoke on Tuesday night.( off Wednesday) As it's coming up to Xmas and I'm playing poker tomorrow night I may have my first Sunday smoke in a long time tomorrow night.The problem ( ok,not really a problem)is that I've cut back so much that when I do have puff it's leaving me too zonked to play many tables.( in fact blinking seems quite strenuous after a puff of this stuff!)

Anyways that's enough wittering for tonight.Hope to see you at The Bloggerment felt tomorrow night.Back soon...

Bye Pokerroom...

2010-12-14T00:17:00.003Z

I enjoyed my week off last week, although I didn't get my car back from the town until Thursday due to the snow and ice.Fortunately I also saw a man about some fine herbs and chilled out playing Black Ops and poker most of the time.Thanks to The Big Chap I also got to watch Rangers grab a draw in Turkey without having to pay for it.

The first poker site I ever played on was Pokerroom and I was loyal to them until a couple of years ago when Stars and Party became my main sites.It suddenly struck me at the weekend that I probably still had some dollars on Pokerroom and after going through the usual password reminder stuff I logged on to the site and discovered an account balance of $97.Keen to play I clicked through a ton of options but still couldn't find the actual poker tables!

Google knows everything and after a quick search I discovered Pokerroom ceased operating early last year! I didn't think I'd see the $97 that was still showing in my account but I've emailed support and have opened a new account at Bwin to allow them to transfer my balance there.In fact I've just checked and they've emailed me back to confirm the balance has been transferred.

I've only played about 20 sngs' since my last post and made a small profit.( mainly on Party and a few $16's on Stars) I've also managed to drop a couple of buy-ins at Rush poker and win a few playing PLO ($12.50 buy-in 6 max) and some NL on Stars.( $50 NL 6 max) It still feels like I've not played much over the last week as I only play one cash table at a time and it feels very slow compared to 4-6 tabling sng's.I'll try and remember to do a stats update at the end of this month for Nov and Dec and hopefully that will motivate me to play less Call of Duty and more poker.

Anyway thanks for reading and enjoy the youtube clip.( safe for work too and I'd better point out it's not my snow cock!)

Snow Fun

2010-12-07T01:21:00.006Z

I stay about 8 miles outside Glasgow and when the weather forecast says "snow on high ground" that usually means my area gets it first.Yesterday morning though it was raining when I left for work and only began snowing heavily as I got within a few miles of the office.As the morning wore on the snow became worse and tales of gridlock and public transport nightmares were filtering through.I left at 12pm, decided to leave the car and was lucky enough to get on a train home and only had to walk a couple of miles in horrendous conditions to get back to my flat.I actually walked in between the stuck cars on one of Scotlands busiest roundabouts which was a bit surreal.I booked the rest of the week off work and will collect my car later in the week when the roads are finally clear of the sheets of ice and snow.Loved this story from the Daily Mash about the people stuck on roads.

I did hit the poker tables last night and won a wee private tourney run by the guys on my favourite football forum.There were only 9 players in the game and it was over within 90 mins due to chips flying in all directions and nobody appearing to have a fold button!

I like to read papers online and usually stop by the Daily Mail site and the Guardian's Comment is Free section on a daily basis.I don't contribute as I tend to agree with the old cartoon about arguments on the internet.The Mail is a right wing rag and in the past has raged against everything from television to video games as causing all society's problems.Their latest crusade seems to be against Facebook and they constantly run stories about people being stalked or being sacked for comments written there.I don't use it myself for a few reasons, but The Mail's over the top scaremongering does make me laugh.

Their latest story
was about a girl who smashed up her boyfriends laptop due to his constant use of the Facebook site and as always there were plenty of daft comments from readers below the article.30 people gave the comment below a red arrow ( or a dislike in Facebook speak) and I thought it was a superb piece of trolling worth a mention.Note the deliberate spelling mistake.There's nothing Daily Mail readers hate more than a spelling mistake or any grammatical errors as Daily Mail readers never make mistakes and live their lives as perfect human beings at all times...!

"Shocing story this. I think our government should show some responsibility and ban Facebook so nothing like this can happen again"
- pedantic hamsik, bratislava, slovakia,

Made me laugh anyway.

Something that certainly hasn't made me laugh is the fact that tonights Champions League tie between Rangers and Bursaspor of Turkey is only available on Sky Sports via the red button.I'm a Virgin Media customer paying a fortune for their "XL" Tv package and despite paying a high premium for the Sky Sports channels I won't be able to see the game tonight as the red button isn't available to cable customers.I really don't care about the arguments between Sky and Virgin and I'm raging that I'm going to miss the action.Rangers have already made 3rd place in the group and as such the match is a dead rubber but I don't pay good money to not watch my team play in Europe!

Before I head out into the snow to walk Nacho I thought I'd give a quick link to the Pokerology site.I get a lot of emails asking me to link to poker/casino type sites and most of the time I don't bother as I reckon they're probably after free links.I've no clue about how site ranking etc works and I've probably ignored a few genuinely decent links in the past.The only reason I've chosen to link this site is because Jennifear posts on their forum and her articles/posts on Pocket Fives helped me beat sit and go games when I first tried them after being a mainly 6 max cash game player.

Ok,thanks for reading.Back soon....

Gimme Fried Chicken...

2010-12-03T17:59:00.003Z

I watched Barcelona destroy Real Madrid 5-0 on Monday night and can honestly say it was the best display by a club side I've ever witnessed.Their one touch pass and move style made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up at times and it was truly a joy to behold such a footballing masterclass.Staying on the football I was sorry to see England lose out on their bid to host the World Cup, but spare me the crap about the English Premier League being the best in the world.The richest and the most over hyped maybe, but the worlds best players play in Spain's La Liga.

I can clearly see which league is the best because happily I had it confirmed today that I still have 20/20 pilot vision after an eye test at lunchtime.It seems the wee wispy floaters I can see at times out of my right eye are just a sign of age and not a detached retina or something worse.

To the poker and due to the time difference I was unable to defend my Very Josie tourney title this month but I will be dropping Josie a line soon in order to claim the much coveted winners t-shirt.I've not played any sng's since my last post but I have messed around playing some more Rush $25nl hands on Full Tilt.Two hands in particular stuck in my mind.On the first hand I held QQ and raised preflop,getting one caller.The flop was a rainbow J 7 7 and I led on the flop and a blank turn with my opponent check/calling all the way.A Queen fell on the river,the rest of the money went in and I was surprised to see him turn over JJ for the flopped full house.Wow I hit a two outer on the river.Damn I run good!
Only a few hands later I raise with 1010,get one caller and all the money goes in on a Q 10 8 flop with two clubs.Yep he had QQ and my heater was over!

Not much else going on apart from not being able to get into work on Wednesday due to the snow and -10c temperatures.All SPL games this weekend have already been cancelled so it's another weekend of Black Ops and poker.It's a hard life...

Quick edit to add the post title is taken from the end of Queen's "One Vision" and not a reference to KFC's!

Stream of Bollocks...

2010-11-29T18:43:00.003Z

I didn't make Dr Pauly's PLO game on Saturday night as I was too busy playing Black Ops instead.I'm sad enough to subscribe to a few good players on youtube who put out vids showing how to improve game play etc.Black Ops has a "theatre" mode which means all games are digitally recorded and can be viewed again from any camera angle or from any other player in the games point of view.I watched a vid the other day where one of the good players replayed a game from a bad players point of view and ripped ( or it it still dissed?!) on him for playing like a "noob".( new player for anyone not up to speed with their net slang) My first thought was "Don't tap the tank" as every poker player knows it's a bad idea to scare the fish as they provide us with our profits.

In video games there is no money at stake and although parts of the vid were quite funny ( the bad player trying to shoot down his own air support was great!)I thought the guy commentating was a bit guilty of forgetting it is only a damn video game! That thought also crossed my mind again today as I listened to Barry Greenstein on last weeks excellent 2+2 pokercast.He was talking about high stakes poker players and their obsession with money and related a conversation he heard where one player was telling the other he was going Scuba diving only to me met with the reply "But how do you make money doing that?".

Now I'm only a low stakes hobby playing donkey but I recall when the s-man used try and get me to play Call of Duty 4 and my reply was that even if I got good at it I couldn't see it paying any bills! It's all about balance and having a healthy attitude, but I sometimes feel that only truly obsessing about something will bring success.I recall reading ( one of Malcolm Gladwells books I think) that rather than natural talent it's really 10000 hours of practice which helps one excel in any particular skill or craft so perhaps there's something in my obsessing theory.

It also crossed my mind that it would be quite amusing to watch a genuine all cards revealed video made by a terrible player and may even help in terms of understanding their ranges and why they may play a particular hand a certain way.I say that because I'm forever reading forum posts where the OP ( original poster)assumes the villain in a hand will think like the OP does and will only call,raise or fold correctly.( as the OP sees it) I was reminded of that playing a little Rush poker with my Very Josie winnings at the weekend.I raised with KK and faced a shove from a fish with 1/2 a buy in.Hmmmm JJ+ AQ+ maybe? Now I wouldn't shove there with AQ but I'm wise enough to know other players would and what do you know.....he showed Q3 off suit!

Ok,I usually write down a few words and work from there when writing a post, but tonights was more a of stream of consciousness affair.Apologies if it was complete bollocks! I'm in a hurry to get my dinner and walk Nacho as the worlds second biggest ( just behind Burnley v Bastard Rovers* )football derby starts in 1/2 hr and I can't wait to see how champions Barcelona do against "The Special One's" Real Madrid team.Of course I still wouldn't swap Messi or Ronaldo for Lee McCulloch....

*Obviously Rangers v Celtic is the number one derby game!

Saturdays with Dr Pauly 9.20pm Stars...

2010-11-26T20:29:00.004Z

Not much poker content today aside from mentioning that Dr Pauly is bringing back his PLO tourney this Saturday at 9.20pm UK time ( see banner above) and if I'm not slaying 12 yr olds on Call of Duty then I'll be there to try and take it down.It may be hard to believe after the last PLO hand I posted, but I actually won one of the Docs PLO games when they ran on a weekly basis.(although Dudley has won about forty of them so perhaps that doesn't say much!)

I enjoyed taking Step A for a Mc'ds last night, although the fact she can now put a Mcd's straw through the pierced holes in her ears was a bit worrying.She also has a pill capsule tongue stud which for those not familiar with such things makes it look like she has a pill on her tongue.She is a good kid though and is only rebelling like this because her dear mother fecked off to England to live just over a year ago.

No home game for the Gers this weekend and almost no games at all due to the ongoing farce over the referees striking due to our sad rivals questioning their honesty and integrity.There wasn't a squeak from them when they won three titles in a row, but now Rangers are on a bit of a roll all the old conspiracy crap gets raised again.I genuinely don't recall the last time they lost a game without complaining about something.I did enjoy our midweek Champions League game with Man Utd ( thanks to Dudley and Bully for texting me updates in the other game in our group) although it was disappointing to lose to a late penalty.

My boss did finally speak to me about increasing my hours and after next week I'll be working four days per week instead of just three.Next week will be a bit busy as my car is going in to get the expensive ESP light problem sorted on Wednesday and on Friday I'm getting an eye test due to seeing wee floater things ( like wee wisps of smoke).Amazingly a quick google search didn't point to eye cancer or anything fatal and it looks like it's just down to age.( although at worst it could be a detached retina hence the test)

Ok,thanks for reading.Back soon...

Out for Justice...

2010-11-23T14:33:00.004Z

I'm just off the phone to Step A and have arranged to take her for a Mc'ds on Thursday evening.Her latest favourite band are called "Dot Dot Curve" and I thought I'd search for them on youtube and keep an open mind before deciding if I liked them.Well I managed to keep an open mind for all of about three seconds before quickly closing youtube.Check them out if you need to clean the wax from your ears!

I have played a few sets of sng's over the last week although most of my free time has been taken up with Black Ops and football.Check out this vid to find out how to change your clan tag colour without prestiging! ( I'm guessing Josie's boy probably knows all about this glitch already!)

My lack of poker volume has definitely affected my poker heart and I'm finding I'm only enjoying sit and go games when I play six tables.Any less and the beats really piss me off whereas when playing a set of six I'm far more likely to make a profit as the only counter to variance is volume.Playing two stacks of three tables is actually quite straightforward and I may try and increase that to eight soon and see how it goes.

Stacking seems to be far better than tiling the tables although I still don't know why when I do tile four tables they don't fill my 17" laptop screen without me resizing them to fit.I'm also finding when I try and drag a table to the top of my screen my laptop keeps resizing it and making it fit almost my whole screen.If anyone knows how to stop that happening please let me know!

As I was off today I stayed up last night and watched the Arnie classic "Commando" and then Stevie Segal's "Out for Justice". The Segal film had a wee guy in his 60's at the foot of the screen doing sign language for deaf people and watching him do the sign chat for the Beastie Boys "No Sleep till Brooklyn" was quite surreal! The added advantage of the sign language guy was that if I ever need to threaten a deaf person or call them a "chickenshit fuckin' pussy asshole" I now know the lingo!

Ok,thanks for reading.Back soon...

PLOnker

2010-11-15T18:38:00.001Z

Pot Limit Omaha is still a bit of a mystery to me but that doesn't stop me messing around at the low stakes cash games. When I used to play NL Holdem cash games ( mainly 6 max $50 nl a few years back) I suffered from "last hand syndrome" which meant I always seemed to loosen up and play the last table orbit of the night like a complete donkey.With PLO my lack of knowledge means I no longer need to wait until the end of the night to pound the keyboard with my hooves.

I've never read a PLO book or paid much attention to strategy in forums and the only consolation is that many of my competitors behave like they've never seen a deck of cards let alone read a book.

I should also add that I had consumed more than a few herbal smokes before playing the hand below and that this was near the end of my session.Ok,so I look down to Qc Qs 6s 4c and although it's double suited, it's not the nuts if I flop a flush so I take a weak line and limp.On the flop I hit a set of Queens on a scary board ( 9s 8h Qh) and bet.When I'm raised I feel pretty sure the villain has J10 and I need the board to pair to win.My hoof hits the call button and when he leads on a seemingly blank turn I call again...

When the river comes and the board hasn't paired, the villain sticks in his last $9.93.I'm almost certain he has the J10 as part of his hand but the 3-1 odds convince me it's worth a call in case he doesn't have it.The moment the cards are revealed I see he does indeed have J10 and I instantly leave the table and curse myself for drawing like a donkey to an unlikely full house.

Before shutting down Stars I take a look at the cashier and to my great surprise I find I won the hand! I looked out the hand history from the Stars options page and laughed as I realised the flush draw I wasn't even aware of had hit on the river....

Perhaps if I had been alert enough to spot the flush draw on the turn then my play wouldn't have been as bad, but as it stands I reckon I'm this weeks Audley Harrison of the PLO tables!

PokerStars Game #52502198697: Omaha Pot Limit ($0.10/$0.25 USD) - 2010/11/11 1:15:54 WET [2010/11/10 20:15:54 ET]
Table 'Polites VI' 6-max Seat #6 is the button
Seat 1: 0legik ($19.84 in chips)
Seat 2: jan3594 ($12.73 in chips)
Seat 3: zagga ($25.79 in chips)
Seat 4: Schmucke ($2.40 in chips)
Seat 5: Rayno001 ($17.27 in chips)
Seat 6: TyTu^oIoPyTu ($14.04 in chips)
0legik: posts small blind $0.10
jan3594: posts big blind $0.25
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to zagga [Qc Qs 6s 4c]
zagga: calls $0.25
Schmucke: folds
Rayno001: calls $0.25
TyTu^oIoPyTu: folds
0legik: calls $0.15
jan3594: checks
*** FLOP *** [9s 8h Qh]
0legik: checks
jan3594: checks
zagga: bets $0.75
Rayno001: folds
0legik: raises $2.25 to $3
jan3594: folds
zagga: calls $2.25
*** TURN *** [9s 8h Qh] [3s]
0legik: bets $6.66
zagga: calls $6.66
*** RIVER *** [9s 8h Qh 3s] [7s]
0legik: bets $9.93 and is all-in
zagga: calls $9.93
*** SHOW DOWN ***
0legik: shows [Tc Js 8s Jh] (a flush, Jack high)
zagga: shows [Qc Qs 6s 4c] (a flush, Queen high)
zagga collected $38.23 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $40.18 | Rake $1.95
Board [9s 8h Qh 3s 7s]
Seat 1: 0legik (small blind) showed [Tc Js 8s Jh] and lost with a flush, Jack high
Seat 2: jan3594 (big blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 3: zagga showed [Qc Qs 6s 4c] and won ($38.23) with a flush, Queen high
Seat 4: Schmucke folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: Rayno001 folded on the Flop
Seat 6: TyTu^oIoPyTu (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)

Not much else going on.I did speak to the Big Chap today and he's doing well and is out and about again which is great news.

Back soon...

Black Ops Arrives

2010-11-10T18:29:00.002Z

A huge first prize,celebrations long into the night,signing autographs for strangers and being the envy of poker players everywhere after a victory most of the community can only dream of.Yeah,it's been a busy week for the current Very Josie Champion and of course I'd like to pass on my congrats to Jon Duhamel for winning some wee tourney out in Vegas this week too....

I've had a decent run at the tables since my last post and now have $288 on Party and nearly $1k on Stars.The plan is to withdraw $600 from Stars and deposit it on Party as this would allow me to move back to the $22 turbo's with a 40 buy-in cushion.

Call of Duty:Black Ops was finally released yesterday and with the day off work I headed out to HMV and traded in Medal of Honor to secure my copy.I'm still unsure if I like it as much as Modern Warfare 2.It definitely has a different feel to it and although I like the lack of noob tubes and commando lunges it's not completely won me over yet.Perhaps as I get to know the new maps and weapons better that will change.

I've not heard back from the girl I was texting previously and I've not sent her another text either.( although if she looked like Isla Fisher or my favourite danger shag Foxy Knoxy I'd need a loan to pay my phone bill!) I'm actually quite happy being single and despite being on dating sites for a while now I've made very little effort to give it a real go.Even before the crash I only replied to a few of the ladies who emailed me and I've only ever made the first contact a couple of times.I'll need to throw myself into it next year though before I stop getting the "Your profile is proving popular today" emails and become the fat baldy git I'm no doubt destined to end up as in my 40's.( no offence to any fat baldy gits reading this!)

I can honestly say that although I live by myself ( Nacho would dispute that!) I rarely feel lonely and I'm actually quiet enjoying life at the moment.Although that's a good thing, it's also made me wonder if I'm actually a bit of a loner.To be fair to myself I was just getting into the swing of dating again before my car accident and it has taken me almost a full year to recover.I'm also very choosy indeed and probably still need to get rid of the old fashioned notion that it's only right to chat to one lady at a time.

Part of the reason for not bothering much at the moment is that I was expecting to be back working fulltime ages ago and have a plan to take three weeks off work when my current "back to work plan" does end.Playing Call of Duty,hitting the tables and enjoying a smoke will be my main holiday activities.Does that make me an anti-social saddo? I dunno!

Righty I'm off to watch the Gers tonight with Two Pies ( my cousin) and have a trip to the dentists to look forward to tomorrow.Thanks for reading.Back soon....

Very Josie Win

2010-11-04T17:31:00.004Z

After arriving home last night around 11-ish I played a few Call of Duty games online with the s-man before deciding I was definitely going to play in the Very Josie game at 1am.I watched a floattheturn Mtt training vid to get me in the mood and rolled a nice big fat one just in time start of the VJ.I've not played an MTT since the Bloggerments demise a few months back and I opted for a more aggressive approach than my usual nitty sng tactics.The chat was hilarious and kept me awake as I chipped up and rolled more smokes.When someone crashed out and typed something about going out early the clock read 1.45am and I reckoned it was probably going to be a late one.

I'm struggling to recall the actual hands but I did pick up a AK a few times, Aces twice and I'm pretty sure I managed to win a few flips along the way too.As the game wore on I tried to keep the pressure up and although I did fold my way through a couple of orbits at times, I never let myself get short enough to have to make desperate shoves.I remember Josie calling me a "pain" which had to be a sign I was doing something right!

Raising to aprox 2.5bb preflop meant I could easily fold to a reraise or make a relatively small c-bet to take a lot of pots down which helped a ton especially when the antes kicked in.I don't recall sucking out on anyone too badly though, which probably means I still wasn't raising often enough!

Despite being half asleep at the final table I felt I was focusing well on the game until Josie and Waffles mentioned that PushMonkey was sitting out.It was news to me although I did spend much of the game replaying hands to see exactly how they had gone down as I was so busy laughing at the chat.Anyway with PushMonkey being absent and knowing how much Waffles was looking to finish ahead of Josie I continued to pound on his blinds and chipped up further.( which did make me feel a bit better about the bad beat Waffles put on me back in 1937!)

As the final table numbers were reduced I ended up detaching the chatbox thing to try and keep up.Josie did well to come back from a few bb near the bubble and I was lucky enough to pick up a higher pocket pair against her 33 when the bubble did come around.Once we were down to 3-4 players and the blinds were getting high ( not as high as me by that point!) it felt more like the end of a sng and I've played enough of them to feel confident enough about my end game

By the time I got heads up with HeffMike I decided to minimise the chatbox and focus on the action.I did catch BamBam wishing me well, but apologies if I missed anyone elses chat as I was too busy trying to claw back HeffMikes chip lead and stop myself drifting off to sleep! After a long-ish ( well it certainly felt that way) battle with a tough opponent my AQ held up v KJ and I'd won the Very Josie at my first attempt.( which makes a change from The Bloggerment where I won on about my 84th go)

After a quick celebratory dance round the living room ( which certainly surprised the dog at just after 3.30am!) I finally hit the sack and slept like a log until just after 12.30 today.Thanks to everyone who played last night for being so welcoming and for the generous chip donations! It will probably be a one off guest appearance for me ( especially when the US clocks change too) but it was great fun and the double stacks format certainly allows for a lot more play than I'm used to in sng's.

Back soon...

Where to stick your phone...

2010-11-03T18:19:00.000Z

Thanks to the folks who commented on my last post.I never use the chat box at the tables, but I did echo Pud's comment and wrote "wow" after that AA v KK hand.Rubbish asked about the chat afterwards and most of it was players moaning that the whole table would have won a fortune if it had happened at a cash table with a bad beat jackpot.

I've only played six sng's since my last post and even winning $94 at the $11's hasn't really reignited my passion for the game.The clocks did go back at the weekend though and as I'm off work tomorrow and there's temporarily only a 4 hour time difference between GMT and EST ,I may try and have a go at Very Josie's tourney on Full Tilt.Double stacks and slow blinds may yet put me off ( due to the potential late finishing time)however gambling it up early and trying to knock out Waffles by spite calling with rags may be too tempting to avoid.It's funny how I have a terrible memory, but can still recall shoving with A6 against the Waffle Meister and losing when he called with 94h and flopped a flush in the later stages of Kat's Friday donkament game a few years ago.Bitter? Of course!

Not much else going on really.It's exactly a year to the day since my near fatal car accident so I suppose not having much going on can also be a good thing! I still have some pain in my back and side and although I'm still hopeful of completely healing, I've kind of resigned myself to knowing that there won't be a day goes by without my mind wandering back to that horrible night.I drove to the Docs on Monday night and it was another very wet,windy dark night and I was probably the slowest car on the motorway!

On a happier note it's only a week until Call of Duty:Black Ops is out and I'm really looking forward to it, although hopefully it won't stop me putting in some decent volume at the poker tables this year! I say this year as Oct 31st is the anniversary of the start of my real money poker play.I was quite happy to use play money on Pokerroom until they withdrew those tables for Halloween and offered a decent deposit bonus to get started with scary real money! I've played so little poker this year I haven't even bothered with monthly bankroll updates.Perhaps I'll start them again this month and try and motivate myself to get properly back into the game again.

Anyway I'm off out to my sisters to help her bath my wee nephew and then heading over to my folks place for dinner.Thanks for reading and if you've ever been messed around or kept on hold when calling a big company then the song below is for you.I used to have a tape of Kevin "Bloody" Wilson songs a long time ago and like all his stuff it's definitely not safe for work....

NSFW

Runner Runner..

2010-10-29T19:00:00.000+01:00

First up all the best to my mate The Big Chap who is now recovering from a heart attack he suffered the other week.Thankfully he's ok and back home already.Good luck staying off the smokes mate and get well soon!

My date for tonight has called off again.This time her boy was sent home from school with flu.She sent me a text saying she would understand if I felt she was a time waster and I replied wishing her boy all the best and to say I think we should leave things for now and maybe try and meet up in a week or so.Perhaps I'm being harsh as she's probably being truthful, but I just don't see the point in continuing to exchange endless text messages when no matter how well we appear to be getting on,only actually meeting up will determine if there's any real spark between us.

I enjoyed taking Step A and her wee pal out for a Mc'ds on Wednesday night although I didn't offer much comment on the cannabis leaf she drew in the condensation on my car window on the way home.I did find the "I'm gay" she wrote in reverse for the world to see quite amusing! She's back at the "Right track" training centre after two week work placement ended.She now wants to do game design and go to college next year.I did my best to make her aware that jobs are scarce at the moment and I also gave her a bit of paper with jobs I'd found on gumtree that might suit her.

To the poker and I'm still breaking even at sng's on Party at the moment.I had a tough session the other night where I ran like crap,nearly busted and only winning my last two games saved the day.When someone types "wow" in the chatbox after a runner runner bad beat or when Aces get cracked I usually assume they don't play much poker as I feel I've pretty much seen it all by now.I did get a laugh from the hand below though....

3-1 to The Champions!

2010-10-24T16:56:00.000+01:00

After playing well and creating some great chances in the draw against Valencia in the Champions League I was a bit worried about the team tiring in today's first Old Firm game of the season.Two Pies and another mate came over to watch it and after going 1-0 down just before halftime,we all just about hit the ceiling when the Gers came storming back to score three in the second half.Both teams had won their first eight league games this season and nine wins in a row is a new SPL record.My only worry is that we have a small squad and a few more injuries combined with the extra European games will still make retaining our league title a tough job.

To the poker and I played just a few sng's on Friday night,got screwed and ended up going and doing something less boring instead.( wee "Why don't you?" reference for older UK readers!)

That's been the general pattern over the last few months where a lack of table hours has greatly reduced my appetite to keep playing after a bad start to a session.Playing so much Call of Duty has also meant I've brought some of the "rage quit" mentality to my poker game which hasn't helped.If I have a crap start to an online video game either through poor play or a laggy connection it's easy to just quit that game and begin another.Applying that thought process to poker just doesn't work as it's totally standard to lose more sit and go's than I'll ever win.Having the confidence in my game and the heart to keep grinding are the keys to success.

The other key for me appears to be top quality herbs! I saw a man about a particularly pungent aromatic dog yesterday and after a few failed Call of Duty games ( I see you and I'm going to shoot...ahh bollocks I'm dead again)I felt the urge to hit the felt and I ended up tuning right into the games ,playing 27 and winning $50.I was still a bit frustrated by beats ( and too many second place finishes) but it was easy enough to brush them off and keep playing my best game.I also usually play four tables tiled on my screen however last night I played six,stacking them in two piles of three and had no bother keeping up with play.If anyone knows if it's possible to automatically use the timebank on Party without additional software let me know though as that would have been useful at times.

I enjoyed the smoke and the poker, but I do feel damn tired today ( despite the high of the Rangers result) and I'll be sticking to my no smoking before work days rule so I'm not sure I'll be increasing my poker volume by too much.( though I'm still on alternate full days and have 35 days of leave to take before the end of March!)

My date on Friday night didn't happen ( family illness on her side) and has been re-arranged for this Friday.Hopefully we'll click when we meet, but I'm quite relaxed about it and if nothing comes of it then so be it.

Ok,thanks for reading.Back soon...

Congrats to the Cod!

2010-10-18T19:07:00.001+01:00

First up I was delighted to read a comment from the Connecticut Cod letting me know that his new twin boys will be home soon ( after arriving early!).Great news and hopefully it won't be too long before Mrs and Mrs C bring the wee fishies back home for a visit!

Not much to report on the poker front as I've not played a hand of poker on Party since my last post and only a couple of hours of breakeven cashgame PLO on Stars.I did splash out on the new Medal of Honor video game and although it's ok,I'll probably end up trading it in for the new Call of Duty:Black Ops game due out on Nov 9th.

I had a fun drive to work this morning.Roadworks and lashing rain meant even longer queues of traffic, although the monotony was broken by one woman who obviously took one look in her rearview mirror and decided I was too attractive to resist and came up with the cunning plan of leaping out of her car and accusing me of running into the back of her.After telling her my car never touched hers she had the cheek to say "Well don't worry,there's no damage"!

Tonight's plan is to watch the last episode of "The Inbetweeners" on E4 at 10pm and maybe even play some poker.It's a big week for Rangers with a home game against Valencia on Wednesday night and the first Old Firm game of the season at the Piggery on Sunday.Nacho gets his second booster jag on Thursday evening and on Friday night ( yeah I may need to apply a quick ninja edit to my last post) I'm going to the cinema with the girl I mentioned before.

I reckon I've still got this internet dating thing all wrong.Even my Mum says I should be chatting and dating lots of women as it's such a hit and miss way of meeting someone.I'll probably be 90 before I meet the next Mrs A as I prefer to chat to one at a time,meet 'em and then usually move on after realising there's just no spark at all.