Nothing Stops This Train
Seeing as I've now been playing real money poker online for over nine years and as this is the longest blogging break I've taken, I thought I'd throw up a wee post.No bullet points to work from or anything.Just gonna let it all hang out a bit!
Still playing poker at the weekends and it's been back to my usual Mtt bad beats,coolers and plain old bad plays so nothing decent to report on that front. I'm still haunted by a hand I played with about 14 players left in large field $5 tourney a couple of months back when I called with 22 from the big blind v a small blind shove.I remember thinking I'm very likely ahead and winning the hand would give me a huge stack but it was a stupid call and it's not been the only one I've made recently! In sng's a daft call/move can be forgotten about because it's easy to move on to the next game but playing like a donk when I finally do get lucky enough to make it through a large mtt field is just burning money.Realising I'm pretty much an Mtt donk has meant I'm trying to cut back on them and stick to 12 tabling 45/180 turbo sngs. These games don't have thrill of a the possible big pay day but pwning bubbles is always fun and despite the games being tougher it's still possible to do that at low stakes without meeting much resistance.
Away from the poker I did finally get round to telling the girl I like at work how I feel about her and three weeks later I'm none the wiser as to how she feels!Her first reaction was that we're just good friends but she followed that up by saying she doesn't know what she says sometimes ( ?!) and needed to think about it.Nearly a week later I asked her about it on the work instant messenger and said if she wasn't interested I'd drop it and promised never to mention it again.She said to stop being a dipshit and she hadn't had time to give it much thought because she had so much going on.Without going into detail she's dealing with social work visits,injunctions,debt stuff and a whole heap of other shit ( yeah I sure pick 'em eh!)so I realised I was being bit self-centred and haven't mentioned it since.
Tonight when I get home she sent me a text saying I never even said bye when leaving today and asking what's up.I wrote a whole text back ,decided to delete it and ending up sending a bit of it by mistake.I'd written that I was trying not to be a dipshit and then followed up on my next text by telling the truth about meaning to delete the whole thing and sending a bit in error.Got one back saying she was fucked and going to bed ( she did say today she didn't sleep at all last night),we both said "night" and that was that.FFS if she doesn't feel anything for me that way then why can she not just come out and say it.Probably time to accept nothing's ever going to happen there and move on but it is fucking with my head at the moment.
Sitting here scratching my face as I write this because I'm doing the Movember thing and as I'd look really silly with just a 'tash I'm going for the full Heisenberg season 5 look.Finally finished Breaking Bad a few weeks ago and ( no spoilers) it has easily replaced "The Shield" as my all time favourite dvd boxset. So many memorable scenes and quotes!
Anyway bitches that's all for now.