Thanks to BC n Kaz,Dudley and Juice for the comments left on my last post which once again I've just caught up with after logging into Blogger for the first time in ages.
Part of growing up is the struggle to find out who you really are and who your true self really is.It probably took me until my 30's to realise that I'm not this or that and like everyone else I'm just a whole bunch of contradictions rolled into one imperfect human and to be comfortable with that.
I feel a bit that way about loneliness. I've spent most of my adult life living on my own and I suppose in today's society that can only be a lose/lose situation.I either get to be happy and at ease spending time by myself which means I must be a weirdo/loner or I'm supposed be some kind of sad case who sits at home craving more human contact.
They say if you keep doing always you've always done you'll keep getting what you always got and I think I'm still trying to work out if that's a good or bad thing.In some ways I think I fear boredom far more than being alone.That's why I like to have a smoke and fire up a load of poker tables because I have no time to dwell on anything when I'm frantically clicking buttons all night in a semi-comatose state.With that said it's not just an escape.I loved catching up with friends and family during my two weeks off in June but I also absolutely loved having the World Cup on tv,rolling a few spliffs up and drinking some fine green tea while playing poker.
I still smoke about an oz of weed per month ( only on Fri/Sat/Sun) and have found cutting Sundays out my smoking schedule harder than I thought it would be and again I think that's simply down to boredom.If only there wasn't that horrible Monday hazy brained stoneover to deal with!
Anyway enough of that shit for now.This is supposed to be a poker blog.
I finally got a new laptop a month or so back so can now play a load of tables and run Pokertracker without any trouble.I had over a million hands on my old laptop and I finally sussed out how to show my expected Big Blinds Earned v my actual Big Blinds earned and although that in no way ever tells the full poker story it was almost a relief to see a very large gap between the two figures.If Aston Martin dealers took Sklansky dollars I'd have a few parked outside!
Running badly does not excuse the fact it's taken me until very recently to learn that simply put I'm not a good enough player to play 12-14 tables at a time continuously and still win money. I've made one small change to what I do and so far it's paying off and I wish I'd realised ages ago.Now instead of always having as many as 14-16 tables always on the go I may start a session by still firing up that many tables but now I play them in sets and only start loading more tables when I'm down to 3-4 tables.It's 45/180 ( $8 and $15) turbo's I'm still playing and not continually adding new tables means I can really focus when those 16 starting tables becomes 3-4 final tables.Bubble time and Final tables are where the money is made and being able to actually pick up reads and follow the game flow instead of just relying on the HUD has helped me hugely.
I was down to just a few tables last weekend when I had my best Mtt result in a while,coming 4th in a $16,$10K Gtd turbo for just over $2k.I'm actually still haunted a bit by the final hand of that tourney.When 4 handed the table had all agreed to discuss a deal and it folded to me in the small blind holding K5.Instead of folding and waiting for a host to come and give us the numbers for a chop I decided the Big Blind would never be calling me lightly ( he'd suggested the deal in the first place) in that spot and shoved my chips in the middle.I had him covered but he snap called with A10,I lost the hand and was out a few hands later.( any deal having been called off by one player because my stack was crippled)Still a nice wee cash though!
I also made the final table of the $9.90 tourney last night where only that final table pays out and came 7th after my Aces were busted by 53 rivering a straight.I had min-raised with under 10BB which must have looked as strong as hell but the big stack flat called from the small blind and then called my shove ( just under a pot size bet) on the flop when he hit his five.Should I just have shoved preflop especially as the pay jumps are very steep? Maybe.
Not much else going on outside poker.I was chatting to one girl and had a date lined up when she texted to say she wasn't well and couldn't make it.She did text again over a week later to ask about meeting again and I blanked it ( we'd been chatting for a few months and I just had a feeling she was wasting my time) but maybe I'll get back in touch and see if she's still interested.I think maybe there's still a nagging feeling with me that I need to sort my own head out first before letting someone else into it!
Still missing Breaking Bad and was jealous as hell of my mate the Big Chap who sent me a text last night to say he's just starting it on Netflix. Almost makes me want to start all over again with it too.No spoilers but safe to say it's one series that just gets better and better with each season.Loved this clip from the first episode.All so innocent back then...
I don't think anything will ever get close to Walt,Jess and co but I'm loving Orange is the New Black on Netflix too at the moment.Very well written,some amazing characters ( love Crazy Eyes and the stunning Alex Vause) and I love the way it teases the viewer into thinking it's a comedy one minute and a drama the next.Plenty of hot Lesbo action too for those that like their diversity to be visually driven!
Still plodding along at work and for the most part still dealing with complaints.I have also been the voice of twitter for the companies business customers recently and I've quite enjoyed doing that for a change as for the most part I'm just filtering enquiries and complaints to the right teams and not having to actually deal with them.We do get some nutters tweeting at us and sometimes it's hard to reply with how "sorry to hear that" when I'd much rather tell them to "fuck off and get a grip,there's more to life than you crying over some defective product or service".I'd probably run out of 140 characters quite quickly with the honest approach though!
Also still having fun playing with my wee nephew every week although I'm probably not in my sisters good books again.After teaching him he was allowed to be messy and if anyone asked why he replied "because I'm three", he has now turned 4.He usually remembers to say please and thank you but has now been fully trained to respond with "NOW!" while banging the table if he forgets and is asked "what's the magic word".Uncle Acorn is going to hell....