Funny football Chants

Just back from watching EK Thistle go down 2-0 to Pollock.Decent performance from EK but our top goalscorer was missing and we didn't carry enough of a threat up front.
Listening to the Pollock fans singing "We all live in a Pollock Housing scheme" got me thinking of the funniest football songs and chants I've heard of so here's a few....

Another one to the Yellow Submarine tune.Boro fans when Reid was still in charge at Sunderland:

'In the town, called Sunderland
There lived a man with a monkeeys heed
And they called him Peter Reid
He peels bananas with his feet
Peter Reid peels bananas with his feet
Bananas with his feet
Bananas with his feet'

Chelsea V Norwich: Chelsea fans sung "We've got Abramovich,You've got a drunken bitch" to which the Norwich support replied "We've got a wonder cook,You've got a Russian crook".

"Does your livestock know you're here?"
Colchester fans to Norwich.

"Does your butler know you're here?"
West Ham to Fulham fans.

"You should have banked with The Woolwich!"
Derby fans to Northern Rock-sponsored Newcastle.


Half time, guy gets his girlfriend into the centre circle and drops to one knee to propose........Both sets of fans start singing:"Does she take it,Does she take it,Does she take it up the arse!!!!!"

"You don't know what you're doing!"
West Brom fans after a fan had his marriage proposal accepted by his girlfriend during half-time v Scunthorpe.

"Bill Oddie, Bill Oddie, rub your beard all over my body! Bill Oddie, Bill Oddie..."
Reading fans against Derby - to the tune of Madonna's Erotica.

Man Utd (Black Lace's Agadoo):
"Anderson-son-son, he's better than Kleberson,
Anderson-son-son, he's our midfield magician,
To the left to the right we'll dance the samba beat tonight,
He is class, our midfield brass, and he dumps on Fabregas!"

Pongolle,
Pongolle,
Sinama Pongolle,
he's got no song cause his names all wrong,
Sinama pongolle

Kilmarnock fans singing to Andy Goram days after he was in the paper saying he feared he was suffering from schizophrenia:"There's only two Andy Gorams, There's only two Andy Gorams"

Sung In England after his bad injury:

Eduardo oh oh oh
Eduardo oh oh oh
He used to have the skills
But now he's heather mills

Spurs sang to West Ham when they got relegated:

"Chim chiminey Chim chiminey chim chim cheroo
You used to play Tottenham
but now you play Crewe"

One very fat bloke sitting in a sea of empty seats.The opposition fans started chanting "Have you eaten all your mates?".


"Let's pretend we've scored a goal!"
From Bradford fans then they all leapt about and went crazy.


Arsenal:
"Don't blame it on Henry, don't blame it on the injuries, don't blame it on the referees, blame it on Eboue!"

Here's one we used to sing about an ex Celt*c striker....
There's only one jorge cadete,
hes got hair like spaghetti,
hes portugese,
and he's one of these (whole crowd does wanker gesture)
walking in a Laudrup wonderland....

When Rio Ferdinand was banned for his drug test cock up, the Man City fans were singing to the tune of Duran Duran's 'Rio'"His name is Rio and he watches from the stand".

Manchester united fans to the tune of my old mans a dustman." Oh the megastore is magic, They sell some magic hats, And when i saw the duvey, I said im having that, I even bought the curtains, And dressing gown in white, I follow Man United, Cause they sell a load of shite."

Man City (The Proclaimers' I'm Gonna Be (500 miles)):
"Oh you can freeze 500 million, and you can freeze 500 more, Cos Thaksin's got another billion underneath his bedroom floor, Shin-a-watra! Shin-a-watra!"


"You're just a fat Eddie Murphy!"

Fans of several Championship clubs to Cardiff's Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink. Also used by Aberdeen and St Mirren fans to Rangers' Jean-Claude Darcheville.


He's big, he's red, his feet stick
out the bed, Peter Crouch, Peter Crouch.

Ro,Ro, Romanov
Bought a team called Hearts
Sold the players, he'll sell the land
And turn it into flats


Scotland vs Italy - "We're gonnae deep fry your pizzas"

A pleasant wee ditty sung by Rangers fans to celt*cs Stillain Petrov :
"The wheels on your house go round and round, round and round, round and round, the wheels on your house go round and round, cause your a gypsy bastard!"

A new Man Utd chant at the moment about Korean player Park Ji-SungPark. to the tune "Care free":
"Park,Park where ever you may be,You eat dogs in your home country,But it could be worse, you could be Scouse,Eating rats in your council house!"

Scotland fans to norway fans:"You only sing when you're fishing"

One we've been singing at the tims (celt*c fans) after they crashed out of European competition after getting pumped 5-0 by Art Media.
"Tell all the tims you know that their giros and euros don't go,
ohh you'll no need your shades
or your bucket and spades,
Inverness is as far as you'll go..."


"We've won the League Again,fly the flag, fly the flag" by the tims at Ibrox last season.Quickly followed this season by:"You sang you'd won the League; where's your flag, where's your flag?"

Scott MacDonald Scored 2 goals - ei ei oh Scott MacDonald Scored 2 goals - ei ei oh With an
overhead kick and a cheeky wee flick -made those Dirty b*st8rds sick,Scott MacDonald Scored 2 goals - ei ei oh

An old favourite of mine...

"If I had the wings of a sparrow,If I had the arse of a crow,I'd fly over Parkhead tomorrow,and shite on the bastards below"

Nakamura ate my dog,( ate my dog),Nakamura ate my dog ( at my dog),
He sliced him, he diced him,he chucked him in a wok,
Nakamura ate my dog...

Or in the tune of the Adams Family, Leeds fans atNorwich…………:"Your sister is your mother,Your uncle is your brother,You all f@*k one another,The Norwich family,der der der der clap clap etc"

Another inspired by the Adams Family tune...
They come fae near Lochgelly
They huvnae got a tellly
They're dirty and their smelly
The Cowden family

When Teddy Sheringham signed for Man U from Spurs they won nothing in his first season at Old Trafford,The first game between the 2 sides the following season the Spurs fans chanted "Oh Teddy Teddy,he went to Man United and he won fuck all". The following season 98/99 Man U won the treble and the first game between the clubs in 99/2000 the United fans answered back with a cracker . "Oh Teddy Teddy,He went to Man United and he won the lot",but quick as flash the Spurs fans replied with the classic "Oh Teddy Teddy,He went to Man United and he's still a c*nt"

Peterborough game last season-

Away "ultras" fan bounds down the stairs toward Peterborough fans when they score, only for the Posh fans to sing "Track Suit from Matalan.....Track Suit from Matalan" (to the tune of Jose Mourinho.....Jose Mourinho.....(Italian tune))

Arsenal to their own player, Pascal Cygon:

He's bald, hes shit
He plays when no-ones fit
Pascal Cygon, Pascal Cygon.

And finally when Spurs thrashed Aston Villa they sung the classic "Is this the way to hammer Villa".

Enjoy the rest of the weekend.