Back n Down...

Back from Amsterdam jaunt.Left Tues pm and got back Sat pm.3 1/2 days of smoking fine weed and staying up late meant I was very tired when I got back on Sat.Mrs A is having a few kidney problems so we had to miss a night out in the town for my sisters engagement which was a pity.

Despite being so tired and my head feeling it was full of big mushroom clouds I decided of course that this would be an ideal time to get back online and play some poker.Bad idea.I lost $200 on Sat night and the same on Sunday and I've got to admit I was on tilt big time.I have a sign next to my pc that says "Have I passed the point of pain?" but even that didn't work its magic.I was past that point.I was feeling really down about my sister and I think I was trying too hard to win big to make myself feel better.I did suffer a couple of bad beats ( usual losing with AA to rags etc) but no excuses.I just played very poorly.I still can't get the hand converter to work so luckily I can't show just how badly but it really was car crash stuff for the last 2 nights.On a positive note I don't usually play like that so maybe I'll get a chance to suprise the people who now have me in their notes as a whopping big fish!

Part of my problem comes from the boredom factor.I mean having over $600 in the account and playing $25nl makes it hard to keep focussed because I knew I could afford to take a hit on the bankroll.( Wasn't planning on it being so dramatic though!).I have played the $.50 nl but as i said before I make more money at $.25 nl so thats why I went back to it.It may be time to go back to $.25nl and look for 10 player max tables with only 5 or 6 players.Ripe pickings before and I'm sure can be again.

Another small problem I've had is getting started strangely enough.I do wonder if playing poker for so many hours every day does wear a person down a bit.( Don't know why I'm wondering that when I've just come back from a 4 day break and lost 2/3 of my roll!). Even at weekends when I play my longest sessions I usually spend hours reading football and poker forums before I actually feel ready to play.Other times I jump in and wonder why I didn't start playing sooner.

Went up to my Mum n Dads yesterday to meet my sisters fiancees family who were all very nice.My wee sis is being so strong about this cancer thing it makes me feel very humble.She gave me a big hug and told me not to worry about her.I know she's going through a lot of highs and lows though and I just wish there was something more I could do instead of just feeling upset and angry that it should happen to my sister.Got to be positive though and they have said its not life threatening and that the hysterectomy should remove the tumour but there are no promises and I don't just want to think she'll be ok.I want to know for sure.

Ok its 9.22pm.Time to skin up,TIGHTEN up and hit the tables...