Short n Sweet

Just a short update post today.Finished up $50 at Ladbrokes but Interpoker kicked me in the junk for a $300 hit so not feeling so good about poker today!

I suppose the upside of my recent poker nightmare is that I can now clearly see why bankroll management is so damn important.Variance.Pure and simple.

I was keen to write up the 4 crucial hands which cost me last night to show it was variance not bad play but who wants to read bad beat tales? I can't resist mentioning the flopped nut flush which I got the villan all in with on the flop after I bet and she raised.She had 55 on a board of K 8 3 and hit runner threes to win a buyin from me.

I'm going to have to look again at controlling my emotions better during play.I was furious that the villan had got it all in with a mere 55 and had won the pot.Sensible thoughts about how plays like hers are to be welcomed blah blah blah just wouldn't wash and combined with other villans hitting 2 and 3 outers on me I had that awful feeling like I was never going to win another pot again.

I mentioned I've also clenched my fist a few times when winning recent pots and thats new for me too.When I wasn't the variance beeetches new plaything I could win or lose pots and remain neutral about it which is the best state of mind to be in to win at poker.

Loss of emotional control is more obvious at the very lowest limits where there's far more ego on the line in each hand.I can see how the loose aggressives make money by pushing people around and finally they snap and play back with an inferior hand.I caught several good hands in a row and had one player go all in preflop with j7 sooted which I insta-called with QQ and won.They pushed because they took it personally when I had reraised them out the last few pots.

I'm not looking for tea,sympathy or advice on "playing every hand correctly". I've read enough poker books and even at just over a year online feel I have enough experience to say that while I may not be at my poker best I've been colder decked in the last 2 weeks than at anytime since I began playing.

I do wonder if my $1500 cashout on Nov 20th has affected my play in any way.I certainly don't believe any cashout curse nonsense or that its rigged in any way but I wonder if cashing out so much had me subconsciously chasing to try and make up for what had gone from my roll.

Part of the beauty about having a large roll for the limit you play is that bad beats are much more easy to brush off.Maybe I still need to try harder to see my bankroll as chips and not "fuck me I just lost enough to make my car payment"while forgetting I could cash in my roll and pay the loan of if I wanted.( only 16 months to go!) It's really only at .25-.50nl where I can lose a buyin ( $50 or $100 depending on site) and not really feel it.I mentioned that before and got some fine advice from Will I'll maybe revisit.

Bad luck,bad play with a dash of burnout and exhaustion thrown in does not make for a happy poker cake mix.

Ok it wasn't short and probably more bitter than sweet so thanks for reading.