One in Four

I played a few more $22 turbos at Party on Monday night and made a tiny profit.Last night I watched a CTS video on cardrunners.I must have viewed over 50 vids so far and on most of them I can understand the reasons behind the poker pro's moves, however watching one of the very best step down ( he usually plays in the highest nl games available) to play at $10-$20nl was like watching a game from a different planet.Not much use in terms of helping my game directly but it was truly fascinating to get an insight into his thought processes as he plays.

I've often pondered here as to why it seems to take me so long to begin playing most evenings.I don't usually start until after 10pm although once I start I feel I could play all night.( and usually do at the weekend!)

Last night I think I found my answer.I don't actually enjoy playing poker very much most of the time!I may win overall, but even at the turbos, I only get in the money on average one game in every four.I may have racked up more wins than any other finishing position, but the majority of the time I face soul sucking bad beats and when it's not a bad beat it's running into a bigger hand.

I only played four $16 turbs last night and had my Queens busted by K6 sooted calling and flopping a flush in one of them,ran 99 into 1010 in another and had my Kings cracked in another.The most frustrating exit was reraising a fish on the bubble with A10.I just knew he was stealing and when he called for his tourney life with A6 the words "total domination" came to mind...until the 6 came on the turn!

No wonder I don't come home from work and immediately begin 2-3 tabling those games.They're a nightmare!

I suppose too that human nature dictates that it's the beats and losses that stick in my mind.Even on my blog I can ( see above) detail the beats and suckouts but usually just add stuff like " I also managed to win three games" without posting the hands that got lucky or where I outplayed the villains because they simply don't stick out as much as the pain of losing.

I did watch a little tv last night too.Football and an interesting programme on improving yourself.I'm not into self-help books and mumbo jumbo but one of these motivational guys said something I found relevant to my poker.Devastation in life can either destroy you or give you drive.The majority of the time bad beats etc drive me on and make me determined to deal with them by not letting them affect my game.Sometimes though there's no doubt I just feel feckin' destroyed by them,usually when I'm not feeling at my best in life generally.

Ok I'm looking after Nacho tonight and may hit the tables at some point too.Bring it on Stars random number generator....