The Dogs Bollocks
I had a couple of close but no cigar moments at the virtual felt last weekend.I came 17th from 1900 players in a $27,$20k Gtd for $170 and 119th from 2500 starters in the big $55,$80k Gtd for $180.As I've written before I really shouldn't be playing $55's on my bankroll but they're fun and good value,especially on Sundays with the higher guarantees.
I wrote the bit above other week but apart from some small cashes I'm running cold at the moment and there's not much to do other than to keep working on my game,stay confident and wait to hit a decent score again.I'm still loving Mtt's despite the fact the longer run is much longer than in sng's or cash games.Short term variance can be a bitch and I do wish I had a far bigger role to be able to play more $44's,$55's etc.Just gotta grind it up!
Away from the poker I took Nacho to visit the hot chick vet the other evening.It was all going swimmingly well.He was as good as gold being given his annual vaccine jags and loved the biscuits afterwards.Before the check up was over though,she starting checking his nuts and just as I was thinking "Well that's why I pay a vet", I heard a voice say " You really should check his testicles every two weeks.If you notice any difference from week to week,blah,blah"...What?!,Sorry?!WTF!WTFF!
Just ever so slightly stunned and feeling like I'd stepped into a Monty Python sketch I asked "Can you just confirm you just said I should be feeling my dogs bollocks on a fortnightly basis?"
She confirmed.Feeling.
*Picture posed by a model as Nacho refused to take part in this blog post!
Yeah,we're not talking just checking they're in place, but getting to know them well enough to know if they feel different from the last check.Every two weeks.By the end of six months I'll almost certainly be able to say I felt more dog genitials over that period than human lady ones and that's not a good place to be!
Should they stay or should they go now? If they go there wont be "feeling" and if they stay he climbs the ceiling!
So it's rubber gloves and the kind of fortnightly squeeze I never imagined when I joined an online dating site,( FFS,squeeze sounds worse than feeling) or I pay £140 and Nacho loses his balls.
On a serious note and leaving out "The Clash" songs, he has no road sense and wouldn't run away for hours on end ( twice this summer) seeking out bitches on heat if he did get the chop.I also wouldn't need to worry about him developing tumours and stuff in that area.
Then again he's doing just fine with them firmly attached to his body at the moment ,any op is a risk however small, and I don't think I could look him in the eye when he got home either.Got it sussed though.More regular visits to the hot chick vet where I'll happily shell out my hard earned to let an expert do the my boy's nuts check.
Always nice to finish with a nuts check on the river...
Well,nearly finished.It's a long time since I've seen any poker blogger post a winning hammer hand...
Labels: Dogs bollocks, Hot Vet, monty python, The Clash, The Hammer
2 Comments:
way to much information ! and get rid of those fucking "sounds" on your blog.
(really looking forward to the follow up post in two weeks time, he he he)
Ha,yeah maybe I should run a poll on the Nacho nuts question.
Yeah the sounds are annoying and I've just used the Boom replayer to upload that Hammer hand.
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