The Dogs Bollocks

I had a couple of close but no cigar moments at the virtual felt last weekend.I came 17th from 1900 players in a $27,$20k Gtd for $170 and 119th from 2500 starters in the big $55,$80k Gtd for $180.As I've written before I really shouldn't be playing $55's on my bankroll but they're fun and good value,especially on Sundays with the higher guarantees.

I wrote the bit above other week but apart from some small cashes I'm running cold at the moment and there's not much to do other than to keep working on my game,stay confident and wait to hit a decent score again.I'm still loving Mtt's despite the fact the longer run is much longer than in sng's or cash games.Short term variance can be a bitch and I do wish I had a far bigger role to be able to play more $44's,$55's etc.Just gotta grind it up!


Away from the poker I took Nacho to visit the hot chick vet the other evening.It was all going swimmingly well.He was as good as gold being given his annual vaccine jags and loved the biscuits afterwards.Before the check up was over though,she starting checking his nuts and just as I was thinking "Well that's why I pay a vet", I heard a voice say " You really should check his testicles every two weeks.If you notice any difference from week to week,blah,blah"...What?!,Sorry?!WTF!WTFF!

Just ever so slightly stunned and feeling like I'd stepped into a Monty Python sketch I asked "Can you just confirm you just said I should be feeling my dogs bollocks on a fortnightly basis?"

She confirmed.Feeling.

*Picture posed by a model as Nacho refused to take part in this blog post!


Yeah,we're not talking just checking they're in place, but getting to know them well enough to know if they feel different from the last check.Every two weeks.By the end of six months I'll almost certainly be able to say I felt more dog genitials over that period than human lady ones and that's not a good place to be!

Should they stay or should they go now? If they go there wont be "feeling" and if they stay he climbs the ceiling!

So it's rubber gloves and the kind of fortnightly squeeze I never imagined when I joined an online dating site,( FFS,squeeze sounds worse than feeling) or I pay £140 and Nacho loses his balls.

On a serious note and leaving out "The Clash" songs, he has no road sense and wouldn't run away for hours on end ( twice this summer) seeking out bitches on heat if he did get the chop.I also wouldn't need to worry about him developing tumours and stuff in that area.

Then again he's doing just fine with them firmly attached to his body at the moment ,any op is a risk however small, and I don't think I could look him in the eye when he got home either.Got it sussed though.More regular visits to the hot chick vet where I'll happily shell out my hard earned to let an expert do the my boy's nuts check.

Always nice to finish with a nuts check on the river...

Well,nearly finished.It's a long time since I've seen any poker blogger post a winning hammer hand...

Highs n lows

I'm not really in the mood for a blog post.After spending time with Rosie,poker and writing up my every thought on the game just don't seem very appealing.I'd written about how I only had 2 games left to complete a set of 20 and how I was hoping to get onto the Stars Planet Earth leaderboard.In the end ( despite Rosie sleepily asking how my game was going at 3am late Fri night when I didn't even have the laptop on!) I didn't play those last two games.

Sunday morning and Rosie leaving came around far too quickly as usual.Usually I don't sleep much the night before big football games due to prematch nerves.This time I hardly gave the game a thought. I just hope Rosie can book up again soon and that the weeks will fly in!

The Old Firm game could have gone better.My cousin and I were 5 minutes late into the ground ( queued alongside Newcastle player,Alan Smith) and missed celtcs first goal which apparently the replays show was offside.We came back to lead 2-1 but the orcs won 3-2 in the end to leave them 5 points ahead of us.We still have 3 games in hand ( 3 points for a win) however and I'd rather be in our position than theirs.Our biggest match of the week is on Thursday night and with the players we have out injured,it's going to be tough to get a result in Florence and make the Uefa cup final in Manchester on May 14th.

Today I arrived into work to find the girl who sits next to me in tears due to the sheer pressure of her current workload.My own work is piling up too and although it's only work,that horrible feeling of having too many balls to juggle and not enough time to juggle 'em is creeping over me too and I don't like it!

My mobile phone battery was dead all day,I spent 50 minutes trying to find the parcel depot to pick up my new laptop keyboard,the frozen Yorkie pud I'd taken out of the freezer and put in the fridge this morning was still half frozen when I got home,the woman who barged in front of me at the ATM had her card in and out three times ( by third time my head was close to exploding!) and finally the King prawn chow mein I've just eaten was the most bland and disgusting meal I've eaten in a long time.That apart,it's been a fine day...

Not much to report on the poker front.I'm feeling totally exhausted this week as well as being on a downer and that combination does not make for good poker.Thankfully I've been sensible enough not to play much although I will do a quick end of month stats post tomorrow.

Oh, I did play in Sundays BritBloggerment and thanks to everyone else who played too.I came 7th after running QQ into KK preflop.Congrats to WeeGem who took it down.


Ok,I've tried gripping the steering wheel and just yelling as loudly as possible.Now I'm off to cheer myself up by whistling this .....



..and watching John Flecks fine goals in last weeks 3-1 Youth Cup final win v them...