Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Stumped!

I began my bankroll rebuilding by winning just under 3 buy-ins on Monday night at the $22's.Hopefully I can kick on from there without having to drop down to the $11's.I took a break from the felt last night and kicked some ass on Modern Warfare 2 instead.

Not much else going on this week so I thought I'd pass on a fine tale I read recently on a football forum.I'll post some stuff from a classic thread on the same forum later in the week.Enjoy!


I was in Oz about 5-6 years ago doing some labour work for a couple of days. Meet this guy Matt from Leeds. Great lad, dirty ****er tho!

Anyway, one friday after work we head to the pub. After an hour or so, I see Matt talking to this minging, pint glassed 40+ year old.......with no legs.I started laughing right there and then and thought "Naw, not even he can be that depraved"

Anyway they are chatting away and the chat turns to sex and the lassie says;
"I've not been ****ed in 5 years".Straight away Matt says: "What? Oh I'll f**k you".So he picks her up and carries her out to to a taxi.

He claims it was one of the best nights of sex he's had APART from when he went down on her and he said (his words) "the little stumps she has for legs kept tickling my ears when I was eating her out".

He also said she went on top and he was spinning her round and the finale is he picked her up and put a coat hanger in her top and shagged her from behind in the cupboard standing up while she...well... hung there...

So he tells me this the next day at work and I literally pissed myself. All day I kept collapsing in fits each time I looked at him so eventually the gaffer says "what you ****ing laughing about?"

I told him that matt took a no legged minger back and shagged her.

Gaffer:" Ahh f**k mate, I shagged her 2 weeks ago"

Apparently this lass sits in the pub saying she hasnae been ****ed in 5 years and guys take her home and bang her.

3 Comments:

At Wednesday, 02 June, 2010, Blogger Wildcat said...

Please tell me that story was made up, otherwise I shall have difficulties sleeping due to the mental image :O

 
At Friday, 04 June, 2010, Blogger Nick (Cloud) said...

I can understand getting a woman legless, so she might sleep with you - but this gives a whole new slant on the idea.

 
At Friday, 04 June, 2010, Blogger Littleacornman said...

No idea Wildcat although on reflection she'd need to be light on her stumps to be able to be hung using a coat hanger!!

 

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