Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Little Fluffy Clouds

I hate whiney posts but this is my space and if I’m feeling like crap then this is where I’m going to let it out.Actually I’ve not been feeling great for a while.I think I get cycles where every 6-8 weeks I’m on a real downer for a while.Most of the time I’m my usual self but I can’t deny the darkness does occasionally descend.Probably due to stress and lack of sleep and hopefully next months holiday will go some way to recharging my batteries.I mentioned I hate whining and I do.There’s plenty of people suffering real hardships and from terrible diseases and I think that makes me more even more annoyed at myself for not being happier with my lot.

After Rangers lost on Sat I fell out bigtime with Mrs A on Sunday, after she had a few beers and started telling me I play too much poker ,and that when I’m sat with her on the settee I’m not really with her because I’m chatting to friends on IM.As mature reasonable adults we immediately initiated a sensible discussion on the matter and all is now well.( err ok we’ve hardly spoken since!).


Not sure how I feel about all this to be honest.I certainly wasn’t going to discuss it anymore on Sunday night as I hate the way Mrs A gets after a few drinks.She has alcoholism in her family and drink just seems to bring out her nasty side.After her Mum died at the end of April I tried hard to be there for her but ( understandably) she mostly wanted to be alone to deal with it.She’s been on prozac now for a couple of months and at first I was pleased because it seemed to lift her mood and helped restore her sleeping patterns to normality ,however now it seems she is either on a fake speed type high or is in an even lower mood than before with not much inbetween.


She said she reckoned I would be happier on my own and the way things are going I’m beginning to wonder if she has a point.Even if we do work through this we can probably never have kids and though I love Step A to bits it’s scary to think that Mrs A could just finish with me anytime and I may not see much of the wee one afterwards.( though I ‘d demand weekend custody of Nacho!).

We’ll probably talk it over and compromise which is afterall what relationships are all about but as we approach 7 years together I’m wondering if we’re gonna make 8.


To the poker and playing a few turbo sng’s with Miami Mark was a welcome distraction even though I bubbled in one and suffered a few suckouts in others.I did double my $25 buy in on my first hand at a cash table to cover my costs at Pokerroom which helped.


Late last night though I was stung badly at a full ring $50 nl table.I don’t usually play full ring but decided that as I was very tired I’d play some before bed.I had AK in the bb and called a 2bb raise from a tight player along with another player who’d already played quite a few pots in my short time at the table.Bottom line was I hit my K on the flop and bet out first ,the original raiser folded and the other looser player took my buy in with a flopped set.There was a flush draw on the flop which missed and I put him on that draw or a weak K.( QK,JK etc).


I rebought and was just about to log off when I get AhQh in the cut off ( same orbit as AK hand).There were a couple of limpers and I was initially tempted to limp too, after being badly stung moments earlier,but it’s all about playing correctly, so I made a 5bb raise which was only called by the same Mr Set who’d taken my last stack.Flop was an A 9 2 rainbow and I ( trying not to let the last hand affect me) bet $7 into a $9 pot,representing the Ace I had and looking to take it down without any fuss.Mr Set called, which worried me, and I started to think he had another set but was more likely to have the Ace and had maybe hit his kicker on the flop .A queen on the turn convinced me I was ahead and once again I got my money in the pot thinking I was ahead only to fall to his second flopped set ( two’s this time) against me in a matter of minutes.


Afterwards I felt I had a good read on what he had and had simply been unlucky but after some thought I realised I’d only been at the table 5 mins, and it wasn’t a read I had at all but an optimistic guess at his cards, especially on the AK hand where I needed more information on the villain to have any idea where I stood.Can’t complain at all about the way the villain played the hand as I’d have done exactly the same.


The second one was perhaps just bad timing and hard to get away from after the turn but after a nice winning week last week I’m a bit annoyed at finding myself over $100 in the hole already this week.


Switched off ,dropped my favourite glass ashtray ( smashed!) and went off to bed.Between all that and my car overheating again on motorway runs, so far it’s not the best of months in Acorn land.


I am looking forward to Rangers playing Molde at Ibrox on Thursday night though.The authorities are trying to sanatize football and take all the swearing etc out of the game but I’ve always been fairly vocal ( “ref ,I’ve pointed out your mistake twice now,I don’t think your listening” etc) but I’m looking forward to a much improved Gers performance and a chance to let off some steam.( and probably get arrested the way my week has gone so far!).

Just had a long chat with my sister and I'm feeling a bit chirpier after it.

If you made it through all that twaddle then congrats! Back with more later in the week...

13 Comments:

At Tuesday, 26 September, 2006, Blogger Dave said...

Take the time to keep the communication going with the Mrs. Sounds like she still has issues left over from her Mum's passing. Take the time to show her that you care and let her lean on you for a bit. She has a big hole to fill in her heart. Not always easy to get them to open up. Avoid long conversations if she's had a few though as she won't be saying things she necessarily means.

I've managed to last over 24 years with my lady. While we've not always had smooth sailing along the way, we get through the tough times by keeping the talk channel open.

Wishing the best for you and Mrs A.

 
At Tuesday, 26 September, 2006, Blogger Klopzi said...

It's very hard to play your A game when there are other things going on to distract you.

Just remember that poker is just a game. I couldn't imagine anyone laying on their death bed wishing that they'd played more poker.

However you feel about things now, give it a week to let tempers settle. At that point, make a decision and never look back.

Here's hoping that everything works for you.

 
At Tuesday, 26 September, 2006, Blogger Rosie said...

Acorn, never give in to the feelings that there are people worse off than you so you haven't got as much right to feel down.
Feelings are relative, after all.

I agree with Klopzi that its tough to play your best with this sort of thing going on. You're allowed to take leave you know ;0)

 
At Tuesday, 26 September, 2006, Blogger Juice said...

Hey Acorn,

Dont worry too much mate. Things always look gloomy after an argument.But I think when you think about what is important to you, you will realise that Mrs A and Step A are worth committing the chips for.

Im sure that they appreciate you as much as you them and that whilst you and Mrs A might have had an argument, its only a drop in the ocean compared to the good stuff.

Although Mrs A's situation is difficult. I think all you can do is be there for her because i think things will get better with time. your a good bloke mate and you have a great family. Just keep your head up and it will be ok

Juice

 
At Tuesday, 26 September, 2006, Blogger Juice said...

P.s

I think rottie is right. Everything is relative. The things that matter to us and concern us might not be important in the grand scale of life and death but then thats an extreme comparison designed to have only one result. The only question is, whether it is a concern to you. Everyone has problems mate. You could have everythign you ever wanted and yet things would still worry you. Its human nature to worry. The key thing is how you react to it.

 
At Tuesday, 26 September, 2006, Blogger MiasDaddy said...

My thoughts are with you mate. After 18 years with the same lass, we've been through pretty much everything, including the 'f**k this, I've had enough' phase, but the strength of your relationship will see you through these patches.
She probably has a point about the poker, maybe we play too much sometimes, and it does have an effect on your relationships if poker gets 5 hours a night and the Mrs only 10 minutes.
Just my views, you'll do what's the best for you and Mrs A, and my thoughts are with you, along with my Email address if you ever need to talk to a stranger.

Take care, and come back stronger.

 
At Wednesday, 27 September, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Falling out with the missus is definitely -EV mate trust me! I'd the worst run of my life when my an the now ex used to fall out. As for the Prozac I was with my son's mum for 4 years and she was on anti-depresents (the affects of clubbing etc) for three of them. The mood swings can be crazy and drinking on them does not help one iota. Get her to try taking Evening Primrose oil tablets (you can buy them from Asda) and Vitamin B6 as these naturally help the body feel better about itself and are totally natural. You may have to speak to her quack before hand to double check but they help her and my mum also and plenty of others I've read about.

Good luck sir!

 
At Wednesday, 27 September, 2006, Blogger Littleacornman said...

Big thanks to everyone for the comments and advice.I'll probably take bit from everyones wise words starting with Klopzi's plan of leaving things a while to cool off.

 
At Wednesday, 27 September, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good luck with Mrs A

I think you need to sort stuff out because you wont play your A game with stuff going round in your head.

 
At Thursday, 28 September, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Life's too short bud and it may sound selfish but you have to look out for number one. Ive been in the same situation as you before and dont let any guilty feelings of letting down the little step acorn get in the way of your true feelings for your missus. You just cant waste precious years of your life stuck in relationships that will end up going no where. Been there, done that and got the badge and tee-shirt.
Good luck with the path you choose!

 
At Thursday, 28 September, 2006, Blogger Jordan said...

Tough stuff, Little A. I don't mean to be harsh, but from what I'm reading, I'm glad you are considering whether ending the relationship is the right move. It may not be, but it also might. It's way too easy to get used to something or get comfortable, and then stick around after it turns to shit. The real question is whether the poker is causing the problems in your relationship, or if the relationship is causing you to go play poker to escape. It's a tricky proposition either way, and best of luck.

 
At Thursday, 28 September, 2006, Blogger C.L. Russo said...

Play less and focus on your relationship. Period.

 
At Friday, 29 September, 2006, Blogger Juice said...

I love poker as much as the next man but i do think that family is very important. Poker will always be there but for the moment i think russo is right.

I also do not think that poker and family life are mutualyl exclusive. Its all about balance. Why not try playing fewer but longer sessions at premium times. Concentrate on building the roll and move up the stakes to maximise your time at the table. Less poker more quality.

Personnally if you are unsure about whether a relationship will work out or not I think you should come down on the side that it will. God is a romantic i think and he likes it when things work out.

 

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