Old School:1988 revisited

My 1987 diary is lost forever so I thought I'd make a start on 1988.I'm afraid it's a lot more long winded so I'll do 3 months at a time starting here...


Jan 1st: I will be 16 this year and able to drive next August.Time seems to fly by when you get older.

Jan 2nd: "Keep the heid" is the newspaper headline after three were sent off in the last Old Firm game.

Jan 8th:I am beginning to wonder why I bother writing a diary.I mean the only person it's really going to interest is me and even then who wants to read pages and pages of the same old drivel.A diary is ok if it includes personal thoughts and feelings, but if not it's artificial and boring.I wonder if being a teenager in the eighties will be any different to being a teen in 2020.I predict my kids will be saying how awful it must have been to have 4 tv channels and robots will probably cook.I also wonder if I'll be a plumber,teacher,journalist,pro snooker player or on the dole and I hope there's never a nuclear war.

Jan 11th: S-man and I had an arguement over song lyrics on the way to school.I said that at the end of Queens "One Vision", Freddy Mercury yells "Fried chicken" but Sandy disagrees.At our service today we got quite a surprise when the new minister ( huge big guy with a beard)turned out to be a squeaky high voiced Welsh bloke.We could all hardly stop laughing.Nobody sung any of the hymns ( again) and he made he excuse that "maybe you're not familiar with that one".hohoho

Jan 14th: Nearly went to the great examination hall in the sky when a car just missed me and s-man after skidding across the icy road on the way to school! Bouncer also gave Chunk a doing before school started.

Jan 17th: Looked after little Zachary ( 2007 note: I did some babysitting for extra cash)and he was behaving like a right spoilt wee brat.He said "Acorn ( ok he used my real name obv!) wont make me a sausage".( plastacine).If I had a sausage I would wrap it round his scrawny wee neck!

Jan 19th: Laura got her new contact lenses.I reckon in 20 years time glasses will not exist and will be rare collectors items.( 2007 edit: how astute!)
PE was good.Last week I did 12 circuits of the hall in 5 mins,this week I did 15.Next week I'm aiming for 10.On my way round I managed to knock over as many cones as possible.

Jan 22nd: Someone said today that in four years time aerosol cans will be banned because of the ozone layer.What a load of crap.In this weeks local paper there is a feature on Mrs Kirk (French teacher) and her husbands new "Prestige" windows.It shows a picture of her so I covered my French jotter with it and we had a good laugh when she noticed.

Jan 25th:Started work experience at the local Primary school.I went to the council planning dept last year and enjoyed it.The best part was getting them to use the council stamp to make my Library books look as if they were being handed back on the right date.( they were two months late)When I took them back the Librarian was full of apologies as she couldn't find the ticket.I was thrown out a few weeks later by the chief library bloke when they did find out what I'd done....

Jan 28th: Arrived back from lunch just in time to see a wee boy in tears because a bird had shit on his head.hahahaha.It was a shame.

Feb 1st: Washington Redskins beat Denver Broncos 42-10 in Superbowl.

Feb 2nd: Got my report card.Here are some quotes from it.Biology: Acorn is cheerful in class and enjoys the work of the class,Modern Studies: worked steadily this term, and good old Mrs Kirk in French who said "a poor performance in all sections of the exam.Acorn does not take his work seriously and a great deal of work would be needed to bring his work up to an acceptable standard".

This probably comes from the earlier jotter cover incident and my language lab tape.( oral reading)We had to describe a picture of a man falling down stairs after tripping over a dog.I hadn't a clue, but reckoned any answer was better than none, and said something like " un man trip over le chien and fell down le stairs".She pulled me out a PE class to play the tape back in the Languages staffroom and said that "If you pardon the expression,your tape is shit".Those were her exact words! hahahaha.I was just surprised I didn't get the "you're going to be a binman" speech from Mum and Dad!

Feb 8th: Here's my opinions on the current world leaders.Mrs Thatcher-hardened old bitch,Ronnie Reagan-Blithering old idiot,Gorbachev-Commie clever dick
In biology we disected a bullseye and in PE we did 25 circuit laps.( or 19 if your me)

Feb 10th: I had my "s" grade maths exam and had to borrow a calculator,compass and even a pen.I hadn't done any studying and was lucky it didn't seem too hard.I'm dropping French.

Feb 13th: All night tv starts on Ch3 tonight and on Ch4 next week.No more sleep for me!( 2007 edit: Ahh the days when the BBC used to play the national anthem before closing eh!) .My favourite Rangers player just now is Mark Walters who is a brilliant speedy winger who zaps past defenders and scores goals.

Feb 16th:In PE we did cross country running and four of us got caught taking a shortcut after the teacher passed in his car just as we were heading down a side street.We've had to start again and have to bring our running stuff again to do it all again at lunchtime tomorrow.Crap.Got "Ferris Buellers day off" out on video and it was great.

Feb 26th: Winter Olympics are on in Calgary ( wherever that is).Britains only ski-jumper Eddie "The Eagle" Edwards is a big star at the moment.He came 55th out of 55 but he is very popular and has already appeared on the " Johny Carson show" in America.

March 3rd:It snowed so after school we all threw snowballs at cars,lorries and generally anything that moved.(Greg included!). A guy came round later about the cassette player I advertised.He put down a £4 desposit and will be back with the other £4 tomorrow.Considering I bought it off Paul for £1 ,that is a result!

March 6th:Ross Tarley is 5 and "That's Life" predict he will be a future tennis champion so look out for that.( 2007 edit: maybe he changed his name to Federer!)

March 8th:My sister got into trouble for making funny phone calls. 2007 edit:I remember making the odd call like that too.Me: "Hello is Mr Wall there?",Victim: "no there's no Mr Wall lives here".Me: "Is Mrs Wall there then?",Victim: ( getting more annoyed now) "No,there's no Mrs Wall here either". Me:"Well if you don't have any walls how does yer house stand up? hahahaha".

Calling the operator and and asking "Is that the operator on the line?".When they said yes you shouted "Well ye better get off,there's a train coming".
I also used to call classified adverts in the paper for small items and offer double/triple the asking price if they could deliver the goods to the house me and my mate could see from my bedroom window.

Mar 18th:San Jose Salmon gave me a heavyish metal tape.It's not too bad actually.Watched Jossys Giants after school.

March 31st: I haven't argued with Mum for 35 hours!! ( probably because they are still on holiday!!)