If I had the wings of a sparrow...

I mentioned the girl I went out with a couple of times in September has been back in touch and we've been exchanging text messages all week.Without going into all the details the text chat started out with her telling me about seeing Pandas and building bears with her niece and somehow moved on to her telling me that experience would get her a job as Santas helper and me saying she'd look cute in an elf outfit or a few other outfits I could think of.

To skip forward a bit I said I was jealous that she finished at 2pm tomorrow as I had to work until 4.15 before finishing up until Jan 4th.She replied saying that she would come and sit under my desk tomorrow afternoon and that 4.15 would come in no time.Lots of winks and smiley faces in our texts and more were exchanged along similar lines.

She knows I work for a big company and I certainly never gave her the impression I have my own office or anything and that made todays text message exchange even funnier.

I sent one this afternoon saying I'd made space under my desk and that I just needed to get her a security pass,adding that I hoped she was still free tomorrow afternoon/evening.I stuck the obligatory smiley face thing at the end of my message.

I was in a bookshop at lunchtime reading the new book on Dave "Devilfish" Ulliots life when her reply came in ( no smileys or winks this time) and I was cracking up with laughter all the way back to the office.

"Really?! Are u wanting me under your desk tomorrow?"

Maybe you had to be there! We've arranged to meet up tomorrow after work so I'll see how that goes...


No poker content today but I will have a quick rant about the stewards at tonights Spurs v Chelsea game wearing cameras built into their headgear.Now while I would entirely agree there's no place for racism or discrimination in any walk of life, apparently they will also be looking to root out fans who are guilty of using foul language.

WTF has football become? There are family sections for those with young kids and besides even without those areas of the ground it didn't do me any harm to hear big bad sweary words whenever I persuaded my Dad to take me to games as a kid.

Football is a passionate game and although the clubs treat us as customers these days and the authorities would much prefer us all to remain seated and silent,it's a tribal game and a big part of that is being allowed some freedom to let off steam,sing songs that wind up opposition fans and generally contribute towards the kind of atmosphere that's in danger of being lost in todays society where looking to be offended has become a national pastime.

I have a season ticket to watch Rangers at Ibrox and apart from one area of the ground where a lot of younger fans get together and create a fantastic atmosphere, most of the ground is sadly fairly quiet on match days.The only exception to this is the Old Firm game and even then I much prefer being part of the away support when visiting our rivals.( Two Pies and I have tickets for next weeks game at the Piggery!)

There's just something about being part of 7500 people making a noise and drowning out 50,000 Celtic fans rustling their sweetie papers.( and I'm sure most Celtic fans would probably say the same about visiting the home of the Champions!)

If I had the wings of a sparrow....

Friday Update...

I was going to write a post moaning about bad beats and how I've been rogered more times than a police radio at the virtual felt over the last week but I've managed to turn things round a bit and have made a little profit since my last post.It's also just stupid to write about poker being a long-term game and then start whining about short-term results.I've deleted a few of the runner runner seemingly improbable hands I was going to post as there's nothing more boring than reading about bad beats on a poker blog.

I did gain a wee shark next to my Stars name on Sharkscope before a few early exits in the $16's saw it swim off into the sunset.The $16 single table sng's do seem to be full of regs but when they're stacking off with 77 during level 1 and shoving over early position raises with 87s then perhaps the games aren't as tough as they seem.

I've stayed off the herbs again this week and when I do that my urge to play poker seems to waiver as smoking helps me brush off the beats and focus on my game.I rejected the chance to reduce my hours at work because they couldn't guarantee I'd ever be able to increase them again and that could affect future mortgage applications etc.I'm also off for the next two weeks,back for a week and then off for three more before going back to my old fulltime hours so I can't complain too much.

Last Sunday I enjoyed the worlds greatest sporting event.Oh and after the Old Firm game I also stayed up late and watched a bit of the Superbowl too! The Old Firm game was a letdown after we went 2-1 up,they had a man sent off and we then sat back in the second half, allowing them to equalise and take the cup game to a replay.For the first time ever we play them seven times in a season and I've a ticket for the league game at the Piggery,the League Cup final next month as well as the last league home game at Ibrox.

Over the last week I've also been out on a few more dates with the same woman.We went for dinner a couple of times and to the cinema to see the 3D film "Sanctum".We were due to go for dinner tonight but I sent her a text earlier today suggesting we leave things for now.She is nice enough but she wasn't much of a kisser and I just didn't feel any real chemistry between us.I also still really like the local girl I've mentioned before and although I gave her a run into town this morning and said she was having a quiet weekend I've no idea if she's still with her boyfriend or even the slightest bit interested in an old fart like me! I'll probably just try and enjoy my upcoming annual leave and throw myself back into the online dating thing when I go back to work.

Ok,just time to say that I've finally finished reading Dr Pauly's "Lost Vegas" book on my Kindle and I'd highly recommend it to anyone looking for a good read.The Doc paints a great picture with his words and there were plenty of genuine laugh out loud moments too.And when I say genuine I mean it and not in that fake forum speak crappy "I just spat my coffee out over my screen" way!

As I write this I've not smoked anything since Tuesday night and I only had one cig on Monday too.( hence the grumpy post probably!) I'm off work for two weeks from today so time to take Nacho out and skin up....

3-1 to The Champions!

After playing well and creating some great chances in the draw against Valencia in the Champions League I was a bit worried about the team tiring in today's first Old Firm game of the season.Two Pies and another mate came over to watch it and after going 1-0 down just before halftime,we all just about hit the ceiling when the Gers came storming back to score three in the second half.Both teams had won their first eight league games this season and nine wins in a row is a new SPL record.My only worry is that we have a small squad and a few more injuries combined with the extra European games will still make retaining our league title a tough job.

To the poker and I played just a few sng's on Friday night,got screwed and ended up going and doing something less boring instead.( wee "Why don't you?" reference for older UK readers!)

That's been the general pattern over the last few months where a lack of table hours has greatly reduced my appetite to keep playing after a bad start to a session.Playing so much Call of Duty has also meant I've brought some of the "rage quit" mentality to my poker game which hasn't helped.If I have a crap start to an online video game either through poor play or a laggy connection it's easy to just quit that game and begin another.Applying that thought process to poker just doesn't work as it's totally standard to lose more sit and go's than I'll ever win.Having the confidence in my game and the heart to keep grinding are the keys to success.

The other key for me appears to be top quality herbs! I saw a man about a particularly pungent aromatic dog yesterday and after a few failed Call of Duty games ( I see you and I'm going to shoot...ahh bollocks I'm dead again)I felt the urge to hit the felt and I ended up tuning right into the games ,playing 27 and winning $50.I was still a bit frustrated by beats ( and too many second place finishes) but it was easy enough to brush them off and keep playing my best game.I also usually play four tables tiled on my screen however last night I played six,stacking them in two piles of three and had no bother keeping up with play.If anyone knows if it's possible to automatically use the timebank on Party without additional software let me know though as that would have been useful at times.

I enjoyed the smoke and the poker, but I do feel damn tired today ( despite the high of the Rangers result) and I'll be sticking to my no smoking before work days rule so I'm not sure I'll be increasing my poker volume by too much.( though I'm still on alternate full days and have 35 days of leave to take before the end of March!)

My date on Friday night didn't happen ( family illness on her side) and has been re-arranged for this Friday.Hopefully we'll click when we meet, but I'm quite relaxed about it and if nothing comes of it then so be it.

Ok,thanks for reading.Back soon...

If You Want to Sing Out,Sing Out!

Started physio yesterday and it went well.I've got a load of exercises to do and have been given some good advice on controlling the pain and reducing the lump on my back.I've got the Docs on Monday,more physio on Thursday and the small matter of a Rangers v celtc game at Ibrox before that at lunchtime tomorrow.

The hype has been building all week for the worlds biggest football derby and as is usually the case when celtc are behind in the league, they have been blaming the referee's.Unbelievably celtc fc have never been fairly beaten since they were formed back in 1888.Sarcasm aside, their permanent victim mentality when the majority of the Scottish media pander to their every whimper is quite pathetic and I hope we crush them tomorrow.For anyone wondering why I refer to them as celtc, it's in tribute to the celtic fans who made a banner in support of their team and were too thick to spell their own club's name correctly.

I caught up with Al Eleven ( aka the Miami Trout/San Jose Salmon/Connecticut Cod) late last night and hats off to both him and his Mrs for planning to get up to watch the game at 6am in the US.We also played a couple of games of poker and Al was on top form ,taking down the $16 ,18 player game.He's also back in Glasgow in a couple of weeks and I'm looking forward to catching up properly.

I also finally got round to watching "Harold and Maude" ( a cult classic film from 1971) and although the pace was a little slow at times,I stuck with it and I'm glad I did as it has some of the funniest and most poignant scenes I've seen in a long time.I've still got "Oldboy" and "Sexy Beast" to watch on dvd and I've a feeling they might be a slightly different kettle of fish.



There was a story in my local paper about a drugs bust which made me smile this week at the defence agents comments.The police raided a house at 8am and a man and his girlfriend were arrested.The man was done for supplying drugs and his lady for resisting arrest.Her "agent" said in court that she was a first offender."When the officers entered the house she was sleeping on the couch partially clothed.She was very surprised and upset and had behaved inappropriately by struggling with officers.She conceded she could have dealt with the situation in a better manner".Of course her agent is obviously going to imply that the poor girl leapt up in shock,clasped her hands together and declared "Oh my,this is a surprise".

Reading on though, it transpires that as a result of her struggle a woman police officer fell through a glass coffee table.I'd venture that the truth is that our poor surprised female defendant went completely ballistic,shouting,screaming and hitting out as she fought with the police and injured the lady officer.

Her man got 32 months and the Sheriff only fined the girlfriend £450 as he "accepted what had been said on her behalf and that she was a first offender"! She's pictured in the paper actually wearing a police hat too.Perhaps they should go back and do her for impersonating a police officer...

Back soon...

You Can't Beat a Bit of Bully!

First up congrats to Bullmeister on taking down the The Bloggerment last Sunday and thanks to the 25 players who showed up to play.Two Pies was round that night to watch the football and "The Damned United" so I wasn't too bothered about crashing out the game quite early.I did manage to make the top 2 from 3 in a mini sng to determine the last two RTR players at the upcoming meet in Jan which I'm quite pleased about.

On the health front I do feel much better although I've not stopped the pain killers, still can't sleep on my right side,my right leg still hurts and I've got a swollen lumpy bit at the bottom of my back.I've got the Doc's tomorrow morning and I'll see what she says about going back to work.I've never had to have a sick line ( required in the UK if you're off for over 7 days)before and I don't really want to go back to work until the pain eases some more.She did say that torn muscles take 4-6weeks to heal and the accident happened a month ago.

To the poker and as per previous posts I'm not going to be doing monthly stats anymore as doing so keeps my focus on the short term too much.I only played about 180sngs in November and did make a slight profit.My goal for December is to try and play nearer 400 turbo sngs and to turn a profit.I did manage to procure some of the finest herbals I've had in a long time so that 400 goal might be pushing it a bit!

I mentioned on RTR that I'd be happy to try a bit of sng coaching and a couple of players responded.I've done one live session via teamviewer and also gone over a dozen hand histories and sent them back after viewing them in the cardrunners hand replayer.The live session was done using Yahoo IM and it wasn't actually that easy to watch a couple of tables whilst typing advice and chatting in general.I felt beforehand that live sessions were the way to go, but going over hand histories and commenting on specific hands may actually be the better way to learn.As I'm off work I certainly have the free time to go through hand histories and if any other low stakes turbo sng players want to email me any I'll take a look.( email address at top of blog)

I also played a $5 Old Firm challenge tourney with 21 runners between fans of Scotlands Champions and our rivals across the city.It was my idea to type "Champ or fud into the chatbox at the start to work out who was on which side and it was funny to see quite a few typing "Champ" when we started the game.The blinds started at 0-20 ( 20 mins long Zzzzz) and I eventually went out when my AQd fell to 55.

I did look on youtube for a suitable Bullseye clip but this Countdown one appealed far more to my mature,sophisticated sense of humour...

Pump up the Volume

After a fine evening at the s-mans on Friday I hit the tables on Saturday/Sunday and racked up over 50 sngs at Party and a few at Stars too,making about $120 from Europe’s largest fishbowl and losing about the same at good ole Riverstars.The good news is that I racked up a load more Party frequent player points ( 3900 total) and now have to decide if I’m going to cash in 1500 of them for a straight $50 cash or wait until I hit 12000 for a $500 payment.I’ve probably missed out on a fortune in bonuses and rakeback over the years and some free money would be very welcome.

Yesterday I watched the most boring turgid Old Firm game in years and felt disappointed that Rangers couldn’t grab a win after dominating the second half and being denied a decent penalty claim.My cousin,Two Pies,was over for the game and later we fired the PS3 and enjoyed a nice relaxing Sunday afternoon blasting the Chimera.

Two Pies left to play fives about 7.30 and that was when I hit up Stars.I did play a few of my usual $16’s but also got stuck into some $27,18 player turbs and a few 45 player games too.The 45’s are obviously going to be high variance and I wasn’t too bothered about not cashing as one decent in the money finish covers a lot of buy-ins.I know they say that we want to play with bad players, but I was tempted to the 45’s after seeing Bigjoe2003 ( another of the worlds top sng players and sngicons instructor) was playing in a few.

I hope he wasn’t making a video as I was card dead in one game, ( shoved K7 with a shortstack) and made a complete idiot of myself in the other game where we shared a table, when I lost half my stack making a move, and the rest when I shoved k4 from the small blind in the next hand and was insta-called by the big blind’s A4.

I can see the appeal of playing more 45 player games though as the standard of play was dreadful and it was far fishier than I expected for a $27 game. I just need to avoid playing like a fish myself…

I hate poker snobbery and smart asses who spend time in forums ( 2+2 comes to mind) berating others for not playing a hand in what is generally seem as the “correct” way. Unless you are actually in the hand and aware of all factors I don’t know how much can be gained from forum hand advice.If 90% of all players lose online I’m also not sure I want to always agree with the majority view. ( although I do think the winning 10% are more likely to contribute to forums and study the game)

Having written the above I still had to piss myself laughing at the players lucky enough to be at the tables when a Pokerstars milestone hand was being dealt as part of their 25 Billionth hand promotion at the weekend. There were a load of milestone hands and I did fire up a few low stakes cash tables every time the countdown approached another one ( along with 228,000 others).The chat moderator halts play for a few minutes before the hand to congratulate the table and to tell them the rules.( basically the winner of the hand gets a huge payout in relation to the blinds and everyone dealt in gets something)

Despite getting huge implied preflop odds, the number of players who folded to a raise astounded me. I’d be all in with any two cards to any shove at a cash table and so too would anyone with even a modicum of common sense. Even if they were unsure of the payouts/rules there was plenty of time to check out how the promo worked and play accordingly.

My own thicko moment this weekend came at around 3.30am early on Sunday morning when I spotted fellow blogger Tan Orpheus at my Party turbo table.I was a bit wasted from a few smokes at the time and playing 5 tables, but that wasn't going to stop me saying hello in the chatbox..until I looked again and realised "Table Options" is not a fellow blogger....

Back soon..

Follow Follow

After a fine steak and chips pub meal on Wednesday evening I realised I was too tired to play much poker,fired up the ps3 for a bit and only played a few games later on whilst watching the excellent “Shaun of the Dead.”The s-man was over last night for some more Half-life 2 Episode 1 shenanigans and I’ll be heading over there later to get stuck into Farcry 2 and Fallout 3.

A reoccurring theme on poker forums recently seems to be that the game is getting far tougher thanks to the likes of training sites,poker forums and the sheer number of books available.I’ve only been playing sngs for about 1 ½ yrs and haven’t noticed any great improvement in the standard.Playing Half-Life 2 and reading an online walk-through guide helped shed some light on the reasons why this may be the case.

The walk-through guide, for anyone unfamiliar with gaming, does what it says on the tin and literally guides you move by move through the game.Even with such a guide, and despite the author insisting the game was easy to complete on the hardest setting,the s-man and I still progressed more slowly than a Dutch MP trying to get through immigration at Heathrow.

The point is that you can read all the detailed instruction in the world but that isn’t necessarily going to transform your game.Personally I reckon I could make a small stakes sng winner out of just about anyone prepared to listen.( that rules my Mum out, although she has improved greatly!) If anyone wants any free sng turbo help just let me know as I’d be interested to see if it would be as easy as I imagine.

Not much else going on and no plans for Valentines day ( unless Vicky Corens card arrives in the post tomorrow...) other than to pick Nacho up and have a chilled out day.The ex Mrs A did stay over a few times in December,but I think there's probably too much water gone under the bridge for anything to come of it and things have cooled back down a bit since.

Yeah,not much else going on besides the biggest most important Old Firm ( Rangers v Them) game since....the last one.Kick off is 12.30pm on Sunday at the Piggery and as I don't have a ticket this time I'll be stuck cheering my team on via the tv.I was saddened to hear that Gadger,one of Rangers most dedicated fans,died suddenly last week and I hope the Gers can win it for the big man who follow,followed Rangers everywhere.

Ok,thanks for reading and thanks to Poker Playa and Donkey Face for your comments on my last post.Back soon...

Torn + PT screenshots

I'm torn between buying my Mum a pxf or cardrunners sub for her birthday.Pxf seems more suited to MTT players and my Mum is an avid sng and micro-limit cash player.I've also been very impressed with my own cardrunners sub and I watched another training vid last night to get me in the poker mood.BM's advice has been very useful and I'd appreciate the thoughts of any other pxf/cardrunners subscribers.

Before hitting the tables last night I watched a rerun of yesterdays Old Firm game.The celtc fans are using the old "it was the ref's fault" excuse despite the fact he failed to give Rangers a stonewall penalty and wrongly ruled our 4th goal to be offside.Some things never change!

I ventured back to $16 ,18 player turbo land last night and two tabled as I'm never going to make any decent profit playing just the one game at a time.My AK fell to AA before I had AQ scudded by A8 sooooted and then ran J10s into AA ( who made quads just to rub it in) to leave me 0/3.Thankfully I felt I played quite well in my last $16 game and I took it down after accumualting a huge stack by the final table.


I downloaded DTD poker in order to play tonights big Raisetheriver game and managed to donk out of a $20 mtt at the halfway stage.( I only put £40 in and wont be including it as part of my roll as I'll only really be playing RTR events there)

A juicy 8 seat $100 NL ,Bet 365 table was next up and I limped in with Aces from the small blind against a very Loose Aggressive player who was raising most hands by $7 preflop.He checked his option and I made a weak lead bet into him on a Jack high flop ( I bet $2 trying to look weak and hoping to induce a bluff) and he flat called.
An Ace fell on the turn giving me a set and once again I led out for a weak $3 and once again he flat called.The river was a Ten and this time I made an almost pot sized bet of $12 and he shoved quite quickly.The only hand that beat me was KQ and though it fitted with how he had played the hand I decided I'd pay him off if he had it and called his large bet.He showed A10 ( nice turn and river!)and the pot was mine!

I took a break and when I came back I gave back most of those winnings ( at 365) by overplaying a little preflop at $50 nl tabs.I was attempting a few preflop resteals which is not always a good idea at $50nl as many villains who raise preflop are too attached to their hands to fold.I'm also used to having a TAG image at cash tables and need to learn how to adjust better to other players adapting to me when I loosen up a bit.( esp preflop) Adjust before they do is the answer I think.

Ok,thanks for reading and don't forget to register for tonights Bloggerment.( and DTD game if your an RTR member)

The screenshots below are because I'm deleting loads of hand histories etc to try and speed up my Pokertracker and laptop and are really only of interest to me.Please feel free to move on to the fine links on the right!

Pokerroom 2005



Ladbrokes 2007




Party 2007

Old School:1988 revisited

My 1987 diary is lost forever so I thought I'd make a start on 1988.I'm afraid it's a lot more long winded so I'll do 3 months at a time starting here...


Jan 1st: I will be 16 this year and able to drive next August.Time seems to fly by when you get older.

Jan 2nd: "Keep the heid" is the newspaper headline after three were sent off in the last Old Firm game.

Jan 8th:I am beginning to wonder why I bother writing a diary.I mean the only person it's really going to interest is me and even then who wants to read pages and pages of the same old drivel.A diary is ok if it includes personal thoughts and feelings, but if not it's artificial and boring.I wonder if being a teenager in the eighties will be any different to being a teen in 2020.I predict my kids will be saying how awful it must have been to have 4 tv channels and robots will probably cook.I also wonder if I'll be a plumber,teacher,journalist,pro snooker player or on the dole and I hope there's never a nuclear war.

Jan 11th: S-man and I had an arguement over song lyrics on the way to school.I said that at the end of Queens "One Vision", Freddy Mercury yells "Fried chicken" but Sandy disagrees.At our service today we got quite a surprise when the new minister ( huge big guy with a beard)turned out to be a squeaky high voiced Welsh bloke.We could all hardly stop laughing.Nobody sung any of the hymns ( again) and he made he excuse that "maybe you're not familiar with that one".hohoho

Jan 14th: Nearly went to the great examination hall in the sky when a car just missed me and s-man after skidding across the icy road on the way to school! Bouncer also gave Chunk a doing before school started.

Jan 17th: Looked after little Zachary ( 2007 note: I did some babysitting for extra cash)and he was behaving like a right spoilt wee brat.He said "Acorn ( ok he used my real name obv!) wont make me a sausage".( plastacine).If I had a sausage I would wrap it round his scrawny wee neck!

Jan 19th: Laura got her new contact lenses.I reckon in 20 years time glasses will not exist and will be rare collectors items.( 2007 edit: how astute!)
PE was good.Last week I did 12 circuits of the hall in 5 mins,this week I did 15.Next week I'm aiming for 10.On my way round I managed to knock over as many cones as possible.

Jan 22nd: Someone said today that in four years time aerosol cans will be banned because of the ozone layer.What a load of crap.In this weeks local paper there is a feature on Mrs Kirk (French teacher) and her husbands new "Prestige" windows.It shows a picture of her so I covered my French jotter with it and we had a good laugh when she noticed.

Jan 25th:Started work experience at the local Primary school.I went to the council planning dept last year and enjoyed it.The best part was getting them to use the council stamp to make my Library books look as if they were being handed back on the right date.( they were two months late)When I took them back the Librarian was full of apologies as she couldn't find the ticket.I was thrown out a few weeks later by the chief library bloke when they did find out what I'd done....

Jan 28th: Arrived back from lunch just in time to see a wee boy in tears because a bird had shit on his head.hahahaha.It was a shame.

Feb 1st: Washington Redskins beat Denver Broncos 42-10 in Superbowl.

Feb 2nd: Got my report card.Here are some quotes from it.Biology: Acorn is cheerful in class and enjoys the work of the class,Modern Studies: worked steadily this term, and good old Mrs Kirk in French who said "a poor performance in all sections of the exam.Acorn does not take his work seriously and a great deal of work would be needed to bring his work up to an acceptable standard".

This probably comes from the earlier jotter cover incident and my language lab tape.( oral reading)We had to describe a picture of a man falling down stairs after tripping over a dog.I hadn't a clue, but reckoned any answer was better than none, and said something like " un man trip over le chien and fell down le stairs".She pulled me out a PE class to play the tape back in the Languages staffroom and said that "If you pardon the expression,your tape is shit".Those were her exact words! hahahaha.I was just surprised I didn't get the "you're going to be a binman" speech from Mum and Dad!

Feb 8th: Here's my opinions on the current world leaders.Mrs Thatcher-hardened old bitch,Ronnie Reagan-Blithering old idiot,Gorbachev-Commie clever dick
In biology we disected a bullseye and in PE we did 25 circuit laps.( or 19 if your me)

Feb 10th: I had my "s" grade maths exam and had to borrow a calculator,compass and even a pen.I hadn't done any studying and was lucky it didn't seem too hard.I'm dropping French.

Feb 13th: All night tv starts on Ch3 tonight and on Ch4 next week.No more sleep for me!( 2007 edit: Ahh the days when the BBC used to play the national anthem before closing eh!) .My favourite Rangers player just now is Mark Walters who is a brilliant speedy winger who zaps past defenders and scores goals.

Feb 16th:In PE we did cross country running and four of us got caught taking a shortcut after the teacher passed in his car just as we were heading down a side street.We've had to start again and have to bring our running stuff again to do it all again at lunchtime tomorrow.Crap.Got "Ferris Buellers day off" out on video and it was great.

Feb 26th: Winter Olympics are on in Calgary ( wherever that is).Britains only ski-jumper Eddie "The Eagle" Edwards is a big star at the moment.He came 55th out of 55 but he is very popular and has already appeared on the " Johny Carson show" in America.

March 3rd:It snowed so after school we all threw snowballs at cars,lorries and generally anything that moved.(Greg included!). A guy came round later about the cassette player I advertised.He put down a £4 desposit and will be back with the other £4 tomorrow.Considering I bought it off Paul for £1 ,that is a result!

March 6th:Ross Tarley is 5 and "That's Life" predict he will be a future tennis champion so look out for that.( 2007 edit: maybe he changed his name to Federer!)

March 8th:My sister got into trouble for making funny phone calls. 2007 edit:I remember making the odd call like that too.Me: "Hello is Mr Wall there?",Victim: "no there's no Mr Wall lives here".Me: "Is Mrs Wall there then?",Victim: ( getting more annoyed now) "No,there's no Mrs Wall here either". Me:"Well if you don't have any walls how does yer house stand up? hahahaha".

Calling the operator and and asking "Is that the operator on the line?".When they said yes you shouted "Well ye better get off,there's a train coming".
I also used to call classified adverts in the paper for small items and offer double/triple the asking price if they could deliver the goods to the house me and my mate could see from my bedroom window.

Mar 18th:San Jose Salmon gave me a heavyish metal tape.It's not too bad actually.Watched Jossys Giants after school.

March 31st: I haven't argued with Mum for 35 hours!! ( probably because they are still on holiday!!)

Gers win 2-0 !

We may have lost the league title but at least we have won the last two Old Firm games and todays win was even more convincing than our win at their place last month.Boyd scored first and Charlie Adam sealed it with a peach of a freekick.It should have been more!Now I just need to get my voice back again....

Not much to shout about on the poker front.I won a $15 turbo ( 18 player) last night but never made the money in six others to leave me about even.I've also realised that if I'm going to play cash tables, then I need to have enough time to devote to it, and not be in a hit and run type mode, where I take chances when I don't really know my table.I lost $20 at Stars with 88 v A6, after the villain hit a 6 on the turn and river.Yes that was maybe unlucky, but it was a lowish ( lower than 8) ragged board and after he had called my 5bb preflop ( and he was also the big stack)I didn't push it hard enough post flop as I was worried about betting into an overpair.Maybe I should stick to limp calling with my pairs....( set mining!)

I moved to Full Tilt as the s-man was there and managed to blow a buy-in at a cash table when once again I just couldn't lay a losing hand down.My awfuckit calls are usually made instantly and at least this time I managed to force myself to slow down and consider the situation a little more.Unfortunately my thought process went like this..I have QQ and have made a decent preflop raise and the villain has check called my increasingly larger bets on the flop and turn.The flush and straight draws have both come in and after my river bet he has raised me all in for a further $26.If I'd watched someone else play this hand I'd be screaming fold but something told me he didn't have the flush or straight and could be making a move with tptk.( flop was 7 high so an A7 type hand was in my mind).I made the call and he's been ahead with a set of sevens since the flop had come.Grrrrrr!

The good news is that I kept my head and won the $11 turbo I played with the s-man to leave me only down a little at FT.

Ok,that's it for todays witterings.Don't forget to register for tomorrows Britbloggerment 7 game on Stars at 9pm bst.Password is donkament and anyone and everyone is welcome to play.

Mrs A is working tonight so I'm off to roll a large one and watch the rerun of todays victory before hitting the tables later...

Life Shortening weekend....

Congrats to The Cloud for his excellent recent Mtt finish.Nice one Sir!

I've had a fairly non eventful couple of nights at the tables.I was frustrated to come 2nd in a $15 ,18 player turbo on Wednesday night after my 66 was rivered by the villains A2 when he hit his Ace.I then slow played my QQ a few hands later ( he had hit auto check/fold) and crashed when that allowed him to hit with his 95 off on a 996 flop.Doh!

I went 0/4 last night after running into Queens twice with mid pairs and suffering a couple of suckouts.I did try an all in bet from UTG with KK not long into one game, as I'd done something similar with AK and won a big pot a couple of hands previously.I was hoping that anyone with a pair may fancy a race if they put me on a similar hand again.They all folded!

All good fun and I'm looking forward to more poker tonight if I survive another driving lesson with Mrs A.

I can't be up too late tonight as I've got the final Old Firm game of the season at 12.30pm tomorrow at Ibrox.We lost the league ages ago but won the last Old Firm game and winning this one would be a good way to lay down a marker for next season.

Perhaps I should be careful as America's Esquire magazine http://www.esquire.com/dont-miss/better-man-07/60things0507 has an article titled "60 things worth shortening your life for" and attending a Rangers v Celt*c game comes in at number 40 on the list!

"Preferably in the Scottish Cup final. Imagine: Red Sox versus Yankees, if the ALCS involved sectarian hatred, hooligan rioting, and the occasional death threat."

There I was thinking it was going to be like a Sunday school picnic....


I'm also looking forward to the De La Hoya v Mayweather fight on Sat.It's the biggest fight for years ( since Tyson lost to Lewis in 2002)and I can't wait to see the Golden boy and Pretty boy get it on.I reckon Mayweather's boxing skills will see him win on points but ideally I'd like to see De La Hoya knock Mayweather out sparko!

All that and I'm off on bank holiday Monday! Smokin'!