If They Play on the Streets....

I've been almost numb with shock for most of the week after my team Rangers went into administration on Monday.The fact that it cost us a 10 point penalty in league and almost certainly hands the league title to to our rivals seems almost insignificant when my clubs very survival is now at stake.The situation seems to change almost hourly too,with the latest being the the administrators now in charge saying today "As a result of our preliminary assessment, we are wholly confident that Rangers will continue as a football club.We do not think that liquidation and closure of the Club is a likely outcome at all".

That seems reassuring but I'll wait until that's cast in stone and not just a "likely outcome" before I feel any better about the situation.I could write pages and pages about the way Rangers have been run,the current/previous owner etc but for now I'll leave it at that and just say that even if the worst ever happens,there will always be a Rangers, one way or another.Follow Follow!


I mentioned I'm taking a zip slide over the River Clyde next month and I did raise a smile when my sitemeter thing revealed that someone had found my blog searching "River Clyde zip slide-how do you get up the crane?".Damn good question and after some investigation the answer that there's a lift at the side of the crane!

At work we got an email from our building services people about the toilets being used on the first two floors which are empty and shouldn't be used as they've been "mothballed".I managed to convince the girl next to me that meant both floors were moth infested and had her worried the moths would make it up to our floor.She's a 27yr old part-time apprentice and I was made to feel very old when I called her Gorbachev after she came into work today with a couple of red burn marks on her forehead caused by her hair tongs."Gorbachev?Is that a cartoon?" she asked.

Not much poker content today.I'm back to about even for the month after finally cashing a few times on Sunday and making the final table of a $5 6 max Hyper turbo Mtt.( nice new final table theme too)If I can stop running pocket fives into KK when shorthanded maybe I'll hit a big score one day...

I've also been enjoying playing hyper turbos on my mobile using the new Android app on my HTC Desire.I think I need a "Get out my way I'm two tabling" sign on my head though after nearly bumping into a few people as I played and walked round Glasgow at lunchtime.It's very smooth and easy to use though and if you're UK based I'd recommend it.

Thanks for reading....

Going Up? Think Again!

I'm pretty sure I heard myself agree to go on a zip slide across the River Clyde in Glasgow from the top of a 150 feet high crane on March 25th after the next Old Firm game.It's been a dreadful season so far on and off the park for Rangers and this charity thing may turn into a jump instead of a slide if we don't beat the mutants from across the city at Ibrox that day!It's for Sports Relief and hopefully some of you kind readers will sponsor me nearer the time!

Nacho has been reading Josies blog recently and only her kind words about him in her comments section kept him from hitting the "unfollow" button after he clocked the "Dogs are Vermin" post from the other day.

He did agree though that not all dogs are as smart as him and some are extremely daft indeed....



Poker content? Well I did play a bit last night but a combination of not smoking during the week and some particularly strong weed meant I was completely monged as I played and instead of it keeping me focussed and tuned in I was resting my head on the back of the couch and half opening my eyes every time the Pokerstars software beeped at me to let me know it was my turn.

I played just a few Mtt's without much joy and had an awful run at the $7 and $30 6 max hypers.I was watching "The Big Game" as I played and inspired by the high stakes cash I sat down at a $50nl 6 max cash table and a full ring $50 nl game too.I used to be a cash game player ( on Ladbrokes and Interpoker) until I caught the sng bug a few years ago.Sadly I forgot the rule about not going broke with an overpair and lost a buy-in with KK to a flopped set of sixes on the 6 max table.

I followed up that piece of brilliance by making a tilty call from the big blind with 56s on the full ring table and check calling an early position preflop raiser on the flop and turn before making a half assed attempt to represent a straight on the river and being called down by two pair.

Mtt mistakes,cash game tilt and a ton of run bad have been the story of my poker month so far in Feb and I suppose I should be glad I'm slightly up and not deep in the hole.Hopefully I can find my best game and some run good tonight as I'll probably play a load of turbo Mtt's.

I've still not played any live poker since last August but I have been practicing my poker face at work to help make myself unreadable when bluffing.We have glass lifts and it's very annoying when I'm running late in the morning, get in,hit the 5th floor button and as the door is closing some asswipe still fumbling with their pass at the turnstyle somehow manages to teleport themselves across to the front of the lift just in time to press the open door button.When it happens several times in a row just as the lift is about to get going it's enough to make me .....smile politely through gritted teeth at my new lift companions!

Well that still happens but if they're not quite quick enough I now incorporate my poker skills and bluff going to press the open door button,making actual contact just above the button.It's very simple and just requires me to make like I'm holding a ball in my hands,giving a small shrug as I raise both eyebrows while hollywooding a surprised look as the door shuts firmly in their face.See ya,wouldn't like to be ya!

Back soon...

Will Teenage Sex Give Your Pension Cancer?

After going to Ibrox to watch a poor Rangers side lose 2-0 to Dundee United in the Scottish Cup on Sunday I came home,watched some more football and fired up a bunch of turbo Mtt's.I ran like crap,made a couple of glaring mistakes and only managed one small cash for $25.

Two Pies was over and after the real football we tuned into the men in padded suits running into each other big final on the BBC.With no idea what was going on and breaks every couple of minutes we lasted until halftime before I sent him packing and hit the sack.Well ok I did watch a bit of Madonna doing the half-time show.When I was a teenager my bedroom walls and ceiling were covered in posters of her and she's still looking hot just a few ( hmmm ok,maybe 25yrs) years later.

Not much else going on this week.At work everything seemed as normal today when the bus driver said he was going out for his lunch.The big boss then called a meeting with our team to tell us he had left the company with immediate effect and it was smiles and laughter all round for the rest of the day.

Something else that made me laugh this week was this brilliant Daily Mail headline generator.No need for anyone to buy the paper ever again!

The Daily Mail song below is quite funny too.



Back soon...

Ace from Space,King from....

I warmed up last night by playing some 6 max hyper turbo's whilst watching The Big Game and other poker I had recorded during the week.

Around 10pm I fired up the tournament lobby,applied the turbo/hyper turbo filter and registered for 8 games ranging from a $5 turbo to a $50 hyper mtt.

As I crashed out of one after another it crossed my mind that if I want to play Mtt's then I'd better get used to the variance.If I'm buying in for aprox $200 per session it probably wont be long before I go ten sessions without a cash and I'd guess that would be a fairly standard run.Maybe that kind of inevitable run when it happens will send me scurrying back to Sngs but for now I'm loving the blood pumping world of turbo/hyper Mtt donkaments.

Even as I was losing flips etc and crashing out I was having a great time trying to read my opponents ranges and making moves to exploit their weak spots.So much so that even when I was only playing 3-4 tables I switched the tv off and focussed on only the poker.I was also well aware of making mistakes myself and when it comes to Mtt's I'm still trying things out to see what works and what doesn't much of the time.

Specific hands from last night are a blur.I do remember getting my money in with AQ v KK for the world in one game and ( Tony G style) thinking "there's the Ace from f*ckin space" when I hit my Ace on the flop.It may not rhyme but I also recall thinking just a second later, "And there's the King from "FFS,why can't I just suckout one f*ckin time instead of being two outered the river".

After resigning myself to a $200 losing session I made a couple of small cashes, one of which was a frustrating 30th place from 2500 runners in a top heavy $15 game for a $58 payout.

After that exit I was left playing only a $9.90 $5k Gtd game with 837 runners where only making the final table paid.Adjusting strategy for that one was interesting as I don't think I've ever played an Mtt with such a top heavy payout structure.

Anyway I did make the final table and with four left I shoved A5 into other shortish stack and he snap called

with Aks and I didn't get any help from the board.What a croc! Nice to cash for $753 though and get off to a good start to the month but really I'm just happy to look at those winnings as fuel to play yet more Mtt's and hopefully become a better player at them.

Monthly Stats

Party $602 ( =) Pokerstars $4783 ( + $47)
817 6 max Hyper turbos and 58 Mtt's played in Jan.
Total online roll $5385

Away from the poker the bus driver returned to work a few weeks ago ( after 3 1/2 months off with stress) and was removed from managing us for the "foreseeable" future due to the many complaints made by our team about his management style.He announced when he joined us that he was on the bus going places and we were either on it or not hence the nickname.

The new senior management team moved him to a project when he came back but HR told them he was employed as a manager and had to be put back in charge of the team.After an awkward meeting on Monday morning where he tried to clear the air by half apologising and using lots of corporate bullshit phrases he lasted until Tues afternoon before taking the rest of the week off as his family are apparently not well.

I don't know if he'll be back but with him gone and the other bloke in the team leaving recently I'm the only man left in our team.The girls reckon the bus driver is a smelly bawbag and apparently I'm now the team eye candy.That's fine with me but I've warned them I want to be respected as person and not treated like a piece of meat.( tongues firmly in cheek all round)

I do have a decent seat near the window which looks right across to the gym in the building opposite.The running machines are right at the window and I've got the girls in my team trained to alert me when the jiggle factor is particularly high,allowing me to stretch my legs and check out the bouncing titties across the road.( in a respectful manner obviously)

Had a few more things to write about but writers block has kicked in after mentioning titties.Ahhh titties.Back soon....