Donkey Punch

I thoroughly enjoyed the bank holiday on Monday.The s-man was over and after pizza and getting stuck into Motor Storm ( on ps3) we watched the movie "Donkey Punch" which was excellent in a disturbing kind of way.When the s-man hit the road I fired up a couple of $22's on Party and cashed in both.

Last night I stopped off on the way home to pick up a couple of tasty pasta dishes from the local Italian place and after watching the football I fired up some $11 sngs on Full Tilt.After playing $16's and $22's for so long it's actually quite tough adjusting to the added donkery at the $11 level.When I raise from the button with QQ and get reraised after c-betting an 8 8 10 flop I can give my opponents credit for the 10 but 78 o/s surprised me a little! My overall roll means I don't need to be playing $11's ,but as I only had less than $200 on FT I thought I'd be sensible about my bankroll management there.

I'll be playing $3 sng's on there soon at this rate after playing about 10 games without cashing in any of them.No boring beats.I simply ran poorly and probably didn't adjust well enough to the players or the blinds structure.( which differs from Party and Stars)

It's an ego thing really as I hate to think there's a site I can't seem to win on.Stuff the ego,it's back to Party for me!

On another note when are poker sites going upgrade and allow players to use voice commands to play instead of the current key mashing which does so much damage to wrists and fingers? Surely it can't be too difficult to instigate? "Raise all in table 3" etc.Maybe one day..

More pasta,poker,football and The Apprentice on the menu tonight.

Back soon...

Time to play a game....

Sadly I was right about Rangers playing too many games in a short period of time and we didn't win the league this season.Thanks to the SFA/SPL we have 41 hours from the end of last nights game to prepare for tomorrows Scottish Cup final.I've always believed the league table doesn't lie at the end of the season, but I still think we are a better team than our rivals and that the reasons I posted about previously ( poor refs and fixture congestion)are why we came 2nd in the end.

Our rivals chief executive quote that extending the season to make it fairer for Rangers would some how have compromised "sporting intergrity" was complete bollocks.Why not just say "We wanted Rangers to play as many games as possible to help give our shitty team a chance".Wanker.Anyways, Nuff Said.

I was also sorry to see Chelsea fail to win the European Cup on Wednesday night after being pipped by Manchester Utd on penalties.I thought Man Utd had the best of the first half and Chelsea outplayed them after that.

To the poker and I played in the Bodog blogger game on Tuesday night although I felt a bit of a fraud in the end.It started at 2am ,was deepstacked ( which I hadn't checked) and although the prize money was ok,it was really about accumulating points through finishing positions.As this was a one-off for me due to being off work the points didn't really matter and after 1/2hour I was looking for a way out without donating my chips too easily and spoiling the spirit of the game.I ended up shoving over the top of a raise with AQ and going out to Aces.

On Wednesday night after the football I watched "The Apprentice" and decided to play the $11,$20k gtd Mtt on Stars with 2500 other donkeys.I was playing my usual $16 turbos alongside the mtt as I'm far too much of an action junkie to just play one slow play mtt! I ended up busting in 127th place for a whopping $32 payout.I have the roll but not the skills or balls to play some mtt's with bigger buy-ins and smaller fields.

I've played 55 turbo games on Stars and won $230 since my last post.I've been four tabling more often and even trying six tabling at the $3.40's to get used to the pace of it.Last night I ran terribly at the $16's and only stepping up and coming 2nd in both $27's I played before bed helped make it a decent nights work.I have 122 leaderboard points from three $27's and may try and play some more of them before the 4am Sunday deadline for the end of the leaderboard.My decent streaks recently have always seemed to overlap from one set of twenty to the next and it would be nice to make the Battle of the Planets leaderboard for once.

At least I've reached another goal though and have now broken through the $7k profit barrier according to Sharkscope.Next goal is $8k!



The s-man is coming over this evening and the plan is to rent Saw 4 on dvd and enjoy some spriggage with it.( sprigs of herb!)

"Spriggage" is our latest code word for the good herb.Reminds me of the furtive conversations I used to have as a teen when having "sore feet" meant you were not able to speak freely.No wonder my Mum took me to the chiropodist so often...

Snappy title.....

I've played four turbs since my last post and have only managed one cash when I came 3rd after shoving AQc over a shortstacks all in and running into the bigstacks KK.( shorty was weak with Q5 as I expected)

In last nights two turbos I didn't feel I played well at all.I'm quite patient when it comes to waiting on a playable hand and will often let my stack blind down from 1500 to under 1k before I start to feel moves need to be made to stay afloat.Being card dead didn't help ,but reraising a fish with AJ was dubious and although shoving 93 off in the other game may have worked if someone hadn't woken up with AKh,I could still have waited a hand or two for something better.

I don't like shoving ( when folded to me) a 2.3k stack with 93 off, however it had been an incredibly tight game with blinds of 200/400 before we even hit the final table and my shove would have netted me 1.2k in blinds and antes ( if uncontested) which would have given me a far better chance of cashing.Hmmm.

I've not played many games because as usual I'm feeling exhausted from too many late/sleepless nights.All my own fault and I don't know why when other people go to bed early,I stay up late as if I'm somehow immune from requiring a decent nights sleep.I suppose I just hate the thought of having no life outside the corporate rat race.Coming home for 7pm and going to bed three hours later would do my head in.Being a night and not a morning person doesn't help and who knows how I'm going to make it to work for 8am on Thursdays and Fridays when our new shift patterns are implemented at the end of the month.


Anyway,Before those games I watched Liverpool beat Arsenal 4-2 to reach the Champions league semi-final against my favourite English team,Chelsea.It was one of the best games I've watched in a long time, with Torres goal and Walcotts unstoppable run for Arsenals equaliser being the highlights.


I also played in a Raisetheriver game on Stars which had an interesting format.The 2nd and 3rd place finishers transfer their prize money to the winner who uses the total prize fund to play a higher stakes sng/mtt and they in turn will then transfer back 30% of any winnings to whoever finished 2nd and 20% to the 3rd place player in the qualifier.

Nine of us started the $10 game and although I enjoyed the chat,I felt I let myself down by trying to play as if there was a traditional bubble rather than adjusting to "win only" format.I had a decent stack at one point but Mairs KJ beat my AQ and oot I went in fourth! Best of luck to Mair who took it down!

More Champions league fitba' tonight and tomorrow night is the 2nd leg of Rangers Uefa cup quarter final.

In other news I hear David Blaine is extremely upset with celt*c striker,Jan Vennegoor,who has made it into the Guinness book of records ahead of the magician after setting a new world record for time spent hanging around the box doing nothing....

Jabber Man

Current start time is 5pm dst for US players.Now open for registration at Stars...

On Friday night I played in the RTR league game where I shoved with AK over the top of Tan's KK and made a fairly early exit.I donked around a bit and at 1am played in Kats donkament rebuy game.I really enjoy the format but the many rebuys and low blinds mean it can be a long game and eventually I managed to donk out in 6th after trying to bluff a fish who just couldn't fold his set of queens on a dry board when it was obvious I probably had nothing!

Yesterday I was at Ibrox to see us beat Hibs 2-1 before picking up Nacho,get my shopping in and heading home for a chat with Rosie before the s-mans visit.

The s-man and I watched Hostel 2 which was a typical Tarantino film with lots of sickness and black humour.After that we spent a few hours chewing the fat and going over many of the escapades we got up to in our teens.The s-man and Al Eleven spiking my cup of tea with speed ( amphetamine sulphate) just before I visited my girlfriend at the time made me smile now, but spending 4 hours chewing gum fast and jabbering non-stop to her father before arriving back with my hair still standing on end was no fun at the time!

I joined Rosie for a game or two on Stars after the s-man went up the road and when Rosie went to bed,I changed moved to Bet365 to play some $100nl 6 max.My cash game is a bit rusty and I was soon down $70 after a couple of failed moves including being sure my 99 was still good on an ace high flop.( it wasn't!)

I actually got lucky and made it all back plus a little more when my set of fives became a full house on the river versus a turned straight.That wasn't against the biggest fish at the table who left the table with the comment "typical good night" after losing his 2nd buy-in.The table broke up when he left and I hit the sack too.

Today I've just watched Man Utd beat Liverpool 3-0 and the Chelsea v Arsenal game is up next after I've dropped Nacho off and seen another man about a dog.

Ok,thanks for reading...

Bloggerment 36 Open...

Bloggerment 36 is now open for registration on Stars.9pm gmt/4pm est,password is DONKAMENT ( upper case) and all bloggers and readers are welcome to play in it.It’s only $5.50 and usually a good laugh.Give it a go!

After my post last night I logged on to Full Tilt and played a couple of $11 turbos.The first one was a 6 max turbo I had joined by mistake.After checking Sharkscope and finding out the villains were all losers and had lost over $8k between them I felt confident I could take it down.One suckout later and I was out!

The next one was a full ring turbo and after getting my money in with KK against Q10 on a 10 J 8 rainbow board,The Ace on the turn was fine but the killer King fell on the river giving me set and the villain a straight.This left me with only 200 chips but I stayed patient,played decent poker and had the pleasure of beating Mr Q10 headsup to take it down.

Tonight the plan is to pick up the ex after work and bring her over to clean the flat before dropping her off and heading off to the s-mans for an evening of Play station 3 and Steven Segal.


Not much else going on in Acorn land.I did enjoy a laugh at an article in the local paper, about the old boy who had written to a local architect to ask if a bat survey had been carried out on a recently demolished building.( bats are protected species) The photo is of the old guy holding the kiddies colouring in book and crayons that the architect sent him as he reckoned the old boy had “too much time on his hands”.Made me laugh and I wish I was able to do the same for some of my customers!


Here a few wee snippets from the paper.Back soon…

A Caller tells us that the English FA should have been concerned when its then manager, Steve McClaren, went out at Hallowe'en dressed as a pumpkin. It was a desperate attempt, apparently, to turn into a coach at midnight.
Chelsea attractor

News also on McClaren's replacement. Hugh Parker in London tells us that the FA is so desperate to sign ex-Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho that they have employed Burt Bacharach to head-hunt him.

They believe the songwriter is the only one to know the way to sign Jose.

Message from the Scottish Government: "Agent McClaren. Return to base. Your work is done."

Bloggerment tonight 9pm bst.....

After winning that $16 ,18 player turbo the other night at Stars, I eagerly waited for my Sharkscope stats to update as I reckoned they would be looking the healthiest they have in a while,only to find the game wasn't picked up by their tracker.I've contacted them with the tourney id and hopefully it will update soon.I did play a couple of wee heads up $5 games ( out with 99 and AQ to better hands)and of course those losing games registered immediately!

After those Heads up games I hit the cash tables and won $20 playing with my Mum and the San Jose Salmon before hitting up bet365 and Interpoker where I boosted my "take a shot" rolls a little with wins at $100 and £100 nl full ring cash tables.

The £100 nl table at Inter was particularly juicy and played more like the $25nl games I started out on almost three years ago.£4-£5 raises were being called by 4-5 players.It never fails to amaze me just how many truly dreadful players are out there and there only really needs to be one or two at a full ring table to make it worthwhile.

I had a long lie until 2pm today and have been watching the Manchester derby ( childs play compared to Rangers v Celt*c!)and the Liverpool v Chelsea games.

Ok,not much else to say today.I'll leave you with these photos of the recent winners of the "best looking celt*c supporter " award.Enjoy....

Sat update

Mrs A and I were out for dinner last night again.We arrived back, Mrs A grabbed the tv remote and I fired up the laptop for some pokery fun.Did I say fun? Well I managed a 3rd place from three $15 turbos although I would have made the money in the other two if Holdem was only played until the turn card was dealt.I remember licking my lips at the prospect of the game starting after checking out the sharky stats.At least I didn't bust out my Stars roll as was looking likely at one point as I started the game I came 3rd in with just $11 left!

A wee 3rd place ( after yet another suckout) at a Full Tilt $11 turbo followed before I took a break and hit then hit the cash tables.

I was rivered in my last hand of the night at Party when the tables resident fishy tilter hit his gutshot and cost me $30.

I thought I'd get that nasty river out there first as I'd rather dwell on the $34 ave pot,$50nl table I played at Laddys where I made a nice wee $80 profit by playing the patient waiting game at a very loose fishy table.Eventually my patience was rewarded when I was allowed to see a cheap flop with my KhJh and the flop came a perfect 9 10 Q.See here for hand.

Now all the stacks at the table were far larger than the $50 buy-in thanks to Ridgers tilting big time and reloading so when the big stack led out I was happy to just call and see the pot build as there was nothing to scare me about that flop.

The turn was a different matter as another 10 fell and for a moment I felt it would be just typical of my recent luck if one of the villains had just made their full house.When the big stack led out for $10 I was confident he may have trips but no boat, and the tiltboys all in bet for $36 didn't worry me too much either.I was still relieved to see a 2h on the river and the chips come my way.

Re the Britbloggerment game and I'm hoping my partner in crime ,The Milkman,will be able to set it up shortly.( I dont have enough player points).I hope so as I'm looking forward to the weekly donkfest!

Just watching the end of the first FA Cup final from Wembley with my favourite English team,Chelsea,winning 1-0 thanks to a Drogba goal.It's been a fairly crap game and certainly no classic.One minute to go.Sorry Miasdad but come on the Chels!

Righty Mrs A is working again tonight so it's a quiet one with perhaps a wee game of poker on the agenda...