Monthly Stats

It's been a funny old month at the virtual felt.I ran well at Party,moved over to Stars and managed to run my $536 roll down to $1.58 before bouncing back slightly to finish on $157 there.Actually, I didn't find that my pish poor Stars run funny at all.After my Party success I was hoping to make at least $1k this month but the poker gods obviously decided otherwise.

I played the Turbo-Takedown and cashed for $85 on Sunday before losing those winnings and a bit more at the $16's through a combination of poor play,lost races and bad beats.

Last night I watched Andy Murray win at Wimbledon whilst 4 tabling the $6.50,18 player turbs.I actually ran quite well, won a couple and cashed in a couple more.I even replied to someone in the chatbox when they mentioned that "you don't see that playing live".I'm usually Mr Silent at all times and a lot of the time these days I have the stats or info showing rather than the chat, but it was only a $6.50 game and I had a friendly chat with the guy after telling him online poker is definitely not rigged!

I'm pretty sure the vast majority of players have no idea ( not my knowledgable readers obv) how variance works and the type of downswings which are completely standard even if you're a solid winning player.Perhaps that knowledge comes with experience.Here are the stats for a Party grinder ( great name btw).Playing 842 games and being down over $300 must mean he's a bit of a fish eh?



Errr no,he's actually ranked number 1 on the Holdem 9-10 turbo $16-$35 total profit for '09 leaderboard.



It's not how hard you can punch but how many you can take and keep coming back for more.

Party Poker $3041 ( + $738) Stars $157 ( -$379) Full Tilt $103 ( =).

Total $3301 ( + $359)


Back soon...

Raring to go...back to bed!

Am I feeling refreshed and raring to go back to work after two weeks off? Am I f*ck!

Thanks to all who commented on my Dam trip report.Since my return I made the tough decision to finish things with the lady I was seeing.We did swap a few friendly texts last night before her final one which said "I miss you, but don't reply".I do miss her too but have respected her request.

To the poker and the good news is that it looks like being a marginally profitable month for me at the felt.( stats on Tues)I went on a bit of a run at the Party $22's, although after not cashing in a few I moved back to Stars and decided to take a wee shot at $36 45 player turbs.It did take me some time to adjust my game to the format but I also ran like crap too and dropped a couple of hundred.

The same happened at the $16's and only a wee run at the $12 45 player games kept me afloat.In fact I found the 45 player games ( $12 and $36) are very soft indeed and they are also far easier to multi-table ( I played 8) than single table sit and goes for the simple reason that the 45 plyr games are all full tables ( until final table starts to lose players).

Anyway I had $72 left on Stars ( $536 at start of June) and fired up three $16's before the s-man arrived for last nights ps3 sesh.No cashes in those games meant when the s-man left and I hit the felt my Stars roll was in danger of being no more.I nearly took a screenshot when the cashier page showed a $1.58 balance but I managed a win and a couple of cashes at $6.50 to finish the night on $77! Of course I should probably stop being so bloody stubborn and go back the the Party $22's, but now that my Stars roll is on life support I'm actually quite enjoying trying to rebuild it.I could also easily cash some Party profit out and stick it back on Stars but wont do that unless I bust the last $77.

Quick questions: Had anyone else found the Pokertracker 3 auto hud has stopped working on Stars? It's still importing hands but not giving the usual stats overlay on the opposition.( which I definitely missed when playing 8 tables)

Jeeez what a boring comeback post so far! I did read on P5's that David Sklansky's house has been robbed.I loved the post by zander on that thread asking if they only took his real money or if they stole all his Sklansky dollars too.( money "won" everytime you get your chips in as favourite at poker regardless of result)

If you're a Raisetheriver forum member don't forget to transfer your $30 to Amatay and get ready for the upcoming Sunday donkaments.( chance to win a trip to Paris to play in a 250euro buy-in event!)

Ok,thanks for reading.Back on Tues with monthly stats.Watch out for the donkeys...

Amsterdam:Trip Report

I'm still on a blogging break until I go back to work ( off next week too) but thought I'd throw together a wee 'Dam trip report before my last two remaining brain cells give up completely.

My cousin Two Pies made it round to my place in time for our taxi to the airport on Monday morning.My mum had texted me a message asking us to "be careful" and my sis ( who refers to these breaks as "Dumb and Dumber on tour") texted aswell to wish us a good trip.As if two mature men in their 20's and 30's couldn't go abroad for a few days without incident....

Our flight was on time and when we arrived at Schipol we quickly made it through passport control and into the baggage collection area where Two Pies bag came through first and I was made to sweat as the same three bags trundled round the conveyor belt with mine seemingly nowhere in sight.Thankfully just as I was about to give up and report it missing,my holdall miraculously appeared on the belt.

We checked in to the Multatuli hotel and headed straight out to the Rokerij 2 coffee shop to begin our herbal odyssey.Back in '07 Two Pies managed to create his own pavement pizza after his first smoke, but this time around he was older,wiser,not mixing beer with his herbs and I didn't anticipate a repeat performance....

As we were about halfway through joint number two, Two Pies said he was feeling a little hot and was going to pop outside for a moment.After asking if he was ok and being assured he was fine I sat back with my joint and chilled out.The barman walked passed a minute later and enquired if the boy outside was my friend.I began to explain that Two Pies was in fact my wee cousin when he interupted with the words" he fell over".It took my slightly addled brain a minute to process this information and come to the conclusion that any falling over of Two Pies wasn't very mellow and required my immediate presence.I moved outside to be confronted with a very pale looking cousin who had eyeballs like pin holes and sweat dripping off him.Goot start!

That first night we made our way down the the Red Light district and after a look around I decided ( being the fine upstanding moral member of society that I am)to have a smoke and drink at Ye Old Church Coffee shop and wait for Two Pies who was going to meet me there when he was ready.I got chatting to the girl running the bar and soon 45 mins had slipped quickly by.After an hour I was getting a little worried and after 1hr 1/2 I was pacing around the place looking for the dopey twat.Should I report him missing? Should I spark another and tell myself that 26yr old men don't go missing and that he'll turn up? I decided to head back the hotel and when I arrived back at the room....he wasn't there.I sunk to my knees and as I tried to force my cloudy brain to come up with a plan, Mr Pies showed up.He'd got lost trying to find his way back to me and only found the hotel by asking for Central Station and making his way from there.

On Tuesday we headed out about 3pm,ate breakfast and played pool until late in the evening when we headed back the room with more baggies ( 1-.1.5gram bags of the Dam's finest)and some philosphers stones magic mushrooms.They were real mushrooms back in '07 but the law has been tightened and they were slightly weaker "truffles" this time round.Not quite as giggly or as trippy as last time but enjoyable all the same.About an hour after taking them and just as they were kicking in I decided I fancied a game of poker.I'd brought the laptop and already paid for wireless so I fired up Stars and a couple of $6.50 games as I could barely focus.I crashed out of one and took down another ( 18 player turb) which made me giggle a little more.

The next day we headed out for another late breakfast at around 5pm and I could still feel the effects from the truffles.Why else would there be a small wisp of smoke coming from the menu and slowly swirling round in front of my bloodshot eyes? Perhaps I wasn't still tripping and the smoke was due to the lit candle I'd chosen to rest the menu on....( the front of it had bubbled but didn't catch fire)

We headed back to Ye Old Church where the bar girl played "Don't Leave me This Way " by The Communards in tribute to Two Pies vanishing act.Conversation was struck up with a couple of young Belfast lads who had just arrived for the first Dam trip.After they headed off I was joking with Two Pies that we'd forgotten to fill them in on the golden rules if you ain't been before.1)Don't mix weed and alcohol 2)Set a meeting place and times if you split up 3)Keep it subtle when rolling with tobacco in coffee shops as baccy is now illegal to use 4) Don't be in the Red Light District after about 11pm as that's when it starts to get very shady 5)Keep your money safe and don't get into chats with the guys who whisper about cocaine and ecstasy on the streets.

Not much else to report really.Two Pies tried a space cake and it knocked him off his feet for a about six hours ( leaving me free to smoke the baggies!) I also enjoyed teasing the s-man by emailing him as he worked to remind him of just how dang good the Dam is!

Ok,thanks for reading.I'm off to take Step A to her Dads and pick Nacho up.Next post will probably be in July....

That Friday Feeling..

Friday at last....at least it is for me as I'm off work after today for a fortnight and off to Amsterdam next week for a few days.Pud was spot on with his comment on my last post about me needing a break.Roll on!

Thankfully I'm also feeling a bit better today after suffering from a painfully sore stomach for the last couple of days.I could barely walk the dog without having to bend over in pain.I don't do doctors or pills, although I did look at the NHS24 website which didn't exactly set my mind at ease.I followed the flow chart and it said I should call 999 ( 911 equivalent) immediately as I had heart attack symptoms.Instead I took another medicinal route, fired up Party poker for a few $22's and finished up $70 after taking down the last one.

Not much else to say on the poker front other than to thank everyone who has played in the Brit Blogger game over the last few years.The numbers were boosted recently by US/Candadian players due to the BBT Sir Al organised but fell away last Sunday and after consulting co-host Mr Cloud,we've decided to can it for now.It does seem a shame to me that us Brits/Euro's can't get a decent turnout for a low stakes friendly game, but I suppose it's simply run it's course.

Ok,I don't plan on posting much ( if at all) over the next couple of weeks.Time to go away and refresh the blogging batteries....

Movin' Up Plan

Spoke to the good lady on the phone yesterday.I said that I can understand her friends advising her it won't work out ( due to the kids issue) and that she deserves to find someone who can offer her more certainty than I can at present.For her part she said she was over emotional the other night due to other reasons,she appreciates my honesty and that she wants to keep seeing me.As long as we both know where we stand I'm happy to take things as they come for now and see how it goes.I hope my previous post didn't imply she wants to rush things as I don't think that's the case.She simply doesn't want to get hurt further down the line due to a issue neither of us can do anything to change.

In a previous relationship it was probably my partner who was the more sensible one re any issues ( kids,distance,that type of thing without getting specific) whereas I was the one who reckoned feelings can't be fought and we'd work things out one way or another.Being wrong hurt( several times) and I wonder if perhaps I'm not as keen as the current lady seems to be about me due to that experience.I do like her, I don't want to mess her about and I'd like to give my feelings a chance to develop some more.If they don't though I defintely won't string her along as I told myself after splitting from the ex Mrs A that if something wasn't working I'd be far more pro-active about ending things rather than letting a situation drag on.

Now to far more important matters...poker.So far this year I've paid off my car loan,bought my Rangers season ticket,paid for my Dam trip next week,covered car repair bills and generally put my poker winnings to good use.As I don't have any immediate bills to cover I think it's time I I used my roll to take a few shots at higher buy-in sngs.I began the month at Party with $2300 and have made...$1 so far.The plan is to stick to $22's until I hit $2400 and then play $33's.If I drop below $2300 it's back to the $22's and if I can hit the $3k mark playing $33's I'm going to try the $55's and drop back a level if my roll drops back below $2400.10-11 buy-in swings are totally standard and I should probably give myself more leeway but dropping from $3k to $2.4k still seems like a lot to me and I'll see how this goes.

Thanks for reading.Back soon...

Melting Snowmen

Ok,I'd been 3-4 tabling for a while,had a lot of late nights this week and I happen to have seen a man about a very nice ( herbal) dog recently.My more experienced poker playing readers may be able to spot the minor mistake I made with this hand...

I'm in the cut-off position early on in a $22 turbo sng and look down to two ( a Desmond obv) snowmen ( 88).I decide that with two callers very early on in the game, I don't have much fold equity if I raise, so I limp along hoping to hit a set or possibly take a stab at the pot if it's checked to me.

An eight falls first on an 8d 10h Ad flop.Bingo,I've hit a set! Someone's bound to have an Ace and pay me off.

It's checked round to me,I check too, and let the loose fishy button player bet just under half the pot.I decide to slow play a little as I reckon he's more likely to have a random Ace or have hit the ten than be on the flush draw.The turn comes a 2h and I check raise the mo-fo and his crappy Ace rag/K10 type hand just enough to keep him in the pot and let him hang himself.I can feel cleverness oozing oot ma pores!

The river is the 6h,I get him to commit the rest of his stack and await the virtual chips making their way across the table,destination: Acorn Stack.

I sit momentarily stunned as instead the chips cross the table to donkey boy and his A4 unsoooted.I take a closer look at the screen and one of my feckin' snowmen has melted into a nine.8 feckin 9 off soot.



Tired,wasted and not focussing...

The moral of the story is.... to decant to the kitchen,open the freezer door and pop in your laptop/pc whenever you get dealt Snowmen. ( or when 89 begins to look like 88,go to bed!)

Before:

After:

Thanks for the comments and emails on my last post.I spoke to the good lady on Sat evening and we agreed to leave things and chat again on Monday,giving us both more time to think things over.

I ended up watching "The Blues Brothers" and hitting the tables, coming back from being about 10 buy-ins down to break even over 23 games at $22 on Party.

Not much else to say today other than to wish Rubbish all the best in tonights Tournament of Champions freeroll . Thanks again to SirAlcan'thang for inlcuding the Brit Blogger game this time round.The freeroll is at 1am UK time but if you're still up pop along and wish Rubbish good luck from the rail! WSOP main event packages go to the top 2 players.( 44 registered to play)

Just time for a quick musical treat before I go.I'm not sure if I've posted about Rangers winning the Scottish league championship for the 52nd time.I just can't get this tune out of my head...

Life Timebank Required

Whupped Two Pies at pool last night before coming home and breaking even over a few $22's.Thanks to Rich for the comment left on my last post.More poker stuff soon..

I started work at 8am today and was asleep reasonably early last night before being woken up by a phone call from the lady I'm seeing at the moment.She was in tears and talking about how she's falling for me ( wait till she gets to know me eh!) but wants me to finish it with her as she can't give me kids and she knows I'd like to be a Dad one day.Ahhhh jeeeez!

I do really like her but I've probably been too quick to jump in heart first previously ( been hurt as a reward) and this time I'm taking things far more slowly in my head.Things certainly seemed far easier in my 20's when there was far less baggage and stuff to complicate matters.I'm still not sure even nearly 2 years after splitting with the ex Mrs A if we were simply in a rut and had drifted apart or if deep down I was unhappy because I knew if I stayed with her I would never have kids of my own.At the time I felt it was the former reason and that I'd accepted that Step A would be the kid in my life, but now I'm not so sure.

Even on the kids issue, as much I've always reckoned that's why we're here on this planet, I do appreciate and enjoy the lifestyle I currently lead and perhaps continuing as things are would not be the end of the world.I don't want this lady to think I'm stringing her along, but at the same time I feel like I need far longer than a month or so to decide how committed I want to be.I've never really gone into a relationship before without thinking ( probably naively) that this could be "the one" but when she first told me about not being able to have kids I was happy to tell myself to take things easy for once and replied that we should just enjoy each others company,have a laugh etc ( we all need a bit of etc!) and see where it takes us.

I had hoped writing a post may help clear things up in my head a bit as I'm just so dang indecisive sometimes when it comes to important stuff.She does make me happy and we do seem to click, but if she's says she's nuts about me and I can't say the same at the moment then maybe it's best to let go.I don't know if I'm holding back because I feel like we're still getting to know each other,the kids issue is bothering me,I just don't want to get hurt again or simply because having her telling me about her strong feelings is just a touch overpowering and could lead to the "c" word.( that's commitment not clitoris!)

Anyway neither of us seemed to want to say goodbye for the last time just yet...so we finished today's texts with me agreeing to give her a call to talk things over tomorrow.To borrow a poker analogy I feel like I need an extended timebank for this one...

Back soon...

74 o/s:The Nuts

I fired up a couple of $22's last night whilst watching the interviews episode of The Apprentice.( Kate to win!)

I rarely play without also watching tv or surfing the net and I really should try and pay more attention to the poker.Playing ultra-tight and then loosening up as the blinds go up just doesn't seem to require much focus, although I concede that watching the tables does make putting players on hand ranges much easier.

I was paying enough attention to notice a villain raise preflop and bet out on every street with only a gutshot straight draw, before proudly showing 74 o/s when his opponent folded on the river.My guess is that Mr 74 was proud of his "multi-barrelled" bluff and was trying to show the table that he was a player to be feared because he makes mooooves.In reality this was the first hand of the game,the blinds were not worth stealing and I quickly marked him down as a fish.I've played over 5000 sngs in total and never once do I recall witnessing a winning regular make a move like that on the first hand.

Poker is a simple game but there are so many wee hints and clues that people give away when playing.For example someone snap calling a preflop shove from another player almost never has Aces/Kings but does usually have a strong hand of some sort.I find it useful to try and use timing tells to gauge hand strength and conversely I always try and act ( if I'm not folding) as consistently as possible myself when betting.( in regards to time taken)

Another sng turbo topic I wanted to cover is when to try and take advantage of bubble situations by constantly raising to steal the blinds/antes.If I have the biggest stack I used to raise/shove almost every hand as anyone calling knows they are going out if they call and lose.This fear means people don't like calling lightly, ( without a strong hand) however I've found this works far better when the other stacks are not of equal size.If they are then the villains feel they have less to lose and are more likely to call lightly.If though I have 8k in chips,player A has 5000,C has 5000 and D has only 2000 left then I will happily raise Player A and Player B's blinds almost every time with any two cards if it's folded to me.I may even leave the shorties big blind alone and focus on trying to gradually chip away at the other stacks until my stack is big enough to just shove all in on every hand.

Ok,thanks for reading.Back soon...

Sun Shining

Sunday was another beautiful sunny day and I didn't hit the tables until after dinner.Stars monthly Turbo-takedown tourney was calling and I ended up winning $45 after finishing around 7000th from 30000 after my Kings were busted by sevens.It's probably typical of how well I'm running just now that 30000 donkeys entered and I began the game with online pro Spacegravy on my immediate right.( though to be fair I wasn't too worried as he was as tight as I expected him to be very early on)

I was playing the ghey Brit Blogger game ( name copyright of Hoyazo, although winning a baseball competition within your own country and calling yourselves "World" champions strikes me as far gheyer than a $5 poker game!) at the same time and bombed out in 17th out to Jordans AK when my 89 sooted shove never improved.Congrats to actyper who took it down.

I hit the Party $22's after the Bloggy and dropped about 8 buy-ins to leave my edited monthly profit looking quite measly.This time last year I made $1200 from sngs in May and there's no doubt the last few months of running way below expectation have been a huge sack of steaming donkey crap.

Away from the poker,Joe at work mentioned that Danny La Rue had died at the weekend which gave me the chance to pass on the news that I'd just heard that Ken Dodd had also died at the weekend. "Did he?"Joe asked, giving me the chance to deliver the legendary reply "No,Doddy".Ahh the old ones are the best.

Nacho and I are heading over to the s-mans tonight for a barbecue,going for dinner at my parents tomorrow evening and I'm off out to play pool after work on Thursday.Friday night is for poker and I'm seeing my lady on Sat.

Back soon..